Page 16 of Duke's Daring Bookworm
“Your woman says she wants you home early for sex, by the way,” I said to Anders when he took too long to get back into the fight. I needed more. More pain. More adrenaline. More clarity.
Just as I hoped, this pushed him over the edge and he flipped me over onto the mat. I bounced back up and he came up behind me.
“Never mention Grace and sex in the same sentence. As far as you are concerned, she’s untouchable. Don’t evenlook at her,” he said when he pulled me in for a headlock, tightening his arm just to the edge of too much.
I pulled him over me and threw him to the mat.
“And miss such a beautiful view?” He lunged for me, taking me to the mat quickly and aiming a punch to my side. “I’ll definitely loo— fuck.” His fist came down on the mat inches from my face. I turned to look at it, still pinned to the mat by his hand on my chest. “Too afraid to mess up this beauty? You’re right, women prefer me to be pretty.”
“What the fuck is wrong with you Duke? You’re being a bigger ass than usual.” I tried to buck him off, but he didn’t budge from where he boxed me in.
“Just looking for a good fight.”
“Bullshit. You’re my brother. We’ve been through hell. I know something’s wrong. Now, are you going to keep being an ass or are you going to put on your big boy panties and talk about it?”
We were both breathing hard. I felt raw, ripped open and seen in a way I didn’t like.
“Get off me. I’ll talk.” I tried to buck him off again, but he resisted long enough, so I knew he got up willingly and I wasn’t beating him. Always had to be the top dog.
He grabbed his water and downed most of it in one gulp. I laid on the mat, catching my breath, wondering if I could do it, if I could talk about my problems.
I finally got up and joined him on the bench.
“Lily kissed me,” I said with a sigh. I did not want to talk, but Anders was right, making him beat me senseless wouldn’t solve anything.
“Wait, Lily? Lily that you brought to the beach? Lily that is somehow friends with you? You.” He waved vaguely in my general direction, as if it was preposterous that she would want to be my friend. I didn’t disagree, it wasmadness. I would never understand why, but I had learned to accept it and now… now everything was changing, and I felt like my world wasn’t quite right anymore.
“Yeah.” I scrubbed my sweat coated hair and some of the salty drops fell into my eyes.
“She wants—not a word of this leaves this room. If I hear about it from anyone, I will shoot you,” I said flatly.
He nodded, and I took a deep breath before I continued, grounding myself for words I never thought I would say.
“Lily isn’t great with dating, and she wants—fuck—she wants to have sex with me, no strings attached. One month, I blow her mind, and then we go on being friends,” I said in a rush, still not quite believing my own words and what I agreed to.
“That’s a fucking terrible idea,” Anders said without missing a beat.
I snorted. “Yeah.”
“So you said no immediately, right? Look, we can hook her up with someone who will treat her well, if that’s what she wants. She’s sweet and beautiful. Any man would fall at her feet.” My world went white at the thought. Someone else touching Lily, making her breathless, bringing her pleasure?—
Fuck.
“No,” I growled. I took a deep breath, needing more oxygen to slow my racing heart. “I planned to say no immediately, but she demanded I kiss her first.” I drank the rest of my water, my throat dry and rough.
“You said no. Right?” He looked me over. “You didn’t say no. You’re a fucking idiot.”
I scoffed. “I know.”
Even sitting here, exhausted and hurting, I couldn’t get Lily and her damn kiss out of my head. The sight of herwhen she sat on my lap wouldn’t leave me alone, all soft and sweet, pleasure written on her dazed eyes and cherry red lips.
I was an ass.
Lily was my best friend. Probably even more than these guys.
We played in the mud together as kids, cutting worms in half just to see if they would keep moving. She saw me go through the awkward phase where my feet and ears were too big. She also stayed with me when my mom died and was the only one to come to my graduation from basic.
This was way too fucking complicated, and I didn’t do complicated.
