Page 67 of Duke's Daring Bookworm
“Let me talk to him,” Jenkins said, always calm and reasonable.
“Whatever you choose, he needs rest, but aside from bruises, he will be ok.” That must have been my doctor.
The sound of the curtain opening pounded in my ears and I flinched.
“About time you woke up,” my dad said while Jenkins listened to the doctor’s orders. “Couldn’t actually kill yourself and save everyone the trouble.”
“Enough.” Jenkins said, pushing his way into the room. “You’ve signed the paperwork. You can leave.”
He squared off against my dad—a full head taller than him. Marine tattoos littered his exposed arms. I knew thelook he gave my dad, and it worked.
“You’re right. I’m not wasting more of my time.” With that, my dad turned and left, and I was glad to see him go. Tension I didn’t realize I held onto left my body, only to return a minute later when Jenkins turned to me. He looked… disappointed. I wasn’t sure which hurt worse, that look or knowing I earned it.
“You’ll be alright, bumps and bruises, mostly. Please tell me you didn’t drive Lily home like this?” He sat gently on the edge of the bed, his tone soft despite his words.
“No, she got a ride from another girl.”
“Good.” He didn’t say anything more, but I knew he wanted to.
“Just spit it out.” If he was going to tell me I fucked up, I’d rather hear it now and get it over with.
“I wish I could do more to help you. Give you some of the discipline that piece of shit never did.” He sounded crushed by this, as if he failed at something.
“It’s not your job.” He flinched when I said that.
“Someone needs to.” He ran his hand through his hair, the anchor tattoo standing out starkly against his tanned skin. “I know it’s not my job to care about you, but that hasn’t stopped me.”
“I know.” Sometimes, I thought he was the only one that cared besides Lily, and I just fucked that up—bad. “What was it like?”
He looked at me, trying to guess what I meant. I gestured to his arm and the tattoo on it.
“Oh. Rough. Demanding. There was no room for fucking up. I met some of my best friends in the dust covered trenches. Saw a bunch of fucked up shit I’ll probably never get over.”
No room for fucking up.
“I can’t hurt her.” I don’t think I could have said that out loud to anyone else. “I almost did.”
“Yeah. What are you going to do about it?” He still sat on the end of my bed and that brought me comfort, and maybe courage.
“Find some discipline.”
He nodded like he knew exactly what I meant. I guess maybe he did. For the first time in a long time, someone looked at me with pride, like I’d made the right choice, or at least the best choice I could.
I had to see Lily. I met with the recruiter not long after leaving the hospital. Graduation was soon and then I would be off, but I needed to tell her I was sorry, even if she never forgave me.
Jenkins insisted on driving me to Lily’s house and waiting while I talked to her. I knocked after a slight hesitation. I could do this.
“Sam?” She sounded surprised, but launched herself into my arms. I tried not to wince at the contact, but didn’t succeed. “What happened?”
She pulled back and looked at me. I knew what I looked like—bruised, broken.
“I had a little accident. The Bronco’s toast, I’m afraid, but I’ll be ok.” I tried to smile, but it felt strained.
“Sam!” She covered her mouth, her eyes wide, and then she reached out to the cut on my head. I flinched away from her touch, still tender and aching.
“Frankie was right. I wasn’t in any position to drive.” I had to force out the words, but I would owe her for the restof my life for intervening when I had failed Lily. “Listen, I?—”
Her dad walked up behind her and pulled the door open wider. He waved his dirt covered hand to Jenkins behind me, reminding me they both work for me—well, my grandpa—making me feel small, out of place, and awkward.
