Page 11 of Duke's Daring Bookworm
If this line of questioning startled Ethan, he didn’t show it. “I can make a spreadsheet for you about it. It’s certainly complicated. Mr. Pennington made plenty of enemies, but he was also known to be shrewd and wouldn’t back down to pressure. A lot like you today, actually.”
I didn’t like that he talked about grandpa as if he was dead and not just retiring. I stood and paced to the window to stare at the city below.
“Don’t make it an official spreadsheet. Off company records. And include any… details about everyone that might be useful.” I didn’t want to come out and say it, but I needed to know everyone’s motives, what they wanted, what their aims were here. Without it, I flew blind, and I didn’t like not being able to see my enemy.
Someday, I knew I would need to lead the company, but I always preferred taking a back seat in the leadership department, happy to let someone else decide. Those days were gone. I had to accept it and do my best. Too bad knowing didn’t equal being good at it.
When I pulled myself away from the view, Ethan had excused himself, leaving me alone, standing in an office that felt too big, with memories I wished I could erase, and a weight I wasn’t sure I could carry.
Much to my consternation, time didn’t stop for me. Lily expected me and letting her down had never been an option.
Chapter Five
Duke pulled up while I paced with a book clutched tight in my hands. I had an idea about how to present this, but I needed the book to help. Maybe I didn’t. Maybe if I just asked, he would say yes, but it felt like… the blanket from my childhood I just couldn’t seem to throw out, no matter how torn and ragged it became. I needed the comfort of words on a page to help me with this.
“I found a note this morning.” Duke stilled when I said this, his hand hovering over his opposite forearm where he had been rolling up his sleeves. I couldn’t look away from that to meet his eyes. I traced the black lines that were exposed and hoped he understood.
He came in and found his place on my couch like he had countless times before, his feet up on the coffee table in the narrow space left by my books and teacups, his suit coat hanging neatly on that hook by the door that I put up justfor him.
I’d followed the tattoos where they hid behind his shirt up to his throat as it bobbed, his jaw moving slightly before he unfroze.
Thankfully, he didn’t look directly at me.
“Yeah?”
“Yeah. The thing is…” I still didn’t know how to finish that, what exactly to say. I looked down at my book. “You know how bad I can be with people.”
I thrust the book toward him, as if that proved anything.
He took it, but didn’t look at it. He looked at me, holding my gaze in a way that made me feel stripped down and laid bare.
“Lily, you’re amazing. I wish—” I held up my hand to stop him, a little surprised that it worked. It usually didn’t when we had this particular conversation. It was different now, though, and I didn’t need nice words.
“I know I can be charming and sweet and whatever else. At least, for a little bit.”
“I didn’t mean that. I meant just you. Always.”
I flushed at the compliment but continued on anyway.
“Eventually, though, that sweet, charming me falls away and what’s left is… well, what’s left is someone that most are” —I swallowed hard and forced the words out that I didn’t even like to think— “repulsed by.”
Duke growled.Growled. Oh my god.
“Idiots. Not you. Them. Any of them. All of them. Idiots. You aren’t repulsive, Lily. You’re…” He didn’t finish. He just stood and paced, the book still clutched in his hands.
“I know. Amazing… and yet, I can’t seem to make anything work and I’ve never even been kissed before.”
He flinched at that.
“What?” I asked, confused by his reaction.
“You don’t remember last night, do you?” He stopped pacing, his back to me, like he had something to be ashamed of.
“No, I don’t, though I gather from the note I wanted to be kissed and you, being you, wouldn’t kiss me.” Venom and hurt coated in my voice when I said this. I didn’t mean for it to be there, but I didn’t seem to have control of that.
He didn’t respond, his breathing loud in the quiet room, and I thought the worst. Something bad happened last night.
“You kissed me.”
