Page 191 of Saving Sparrow
“That means you get to ask whatever question you want.”
He turned pensive. “If things were different… if we were different people, and the world wasn’t so cruel, would you want to stay with me? Would youwantme?”
That was the most difficult question I’d ever been asked because the answer was multifaceted. I gathered his hands in mine. “If we were different people, if we werebothour own people who’d somehow found their way into each other’s orbit… There would be nothing stopping me from wanting you, Sparrow.”
He looked away, and I brought his chin back around.
“The good news is, you’re a piece of the man I’m in love with, and because I love himcompletely, that means I love you the same. I wasn’t lying when I said Quentin and I loved you. I love you, Sparrow, because I love Elliott.” I caught his rogue tear right as it fell.
“I’m so sorry about Quentin.”
“There’s nothing to be sorry for.”
Shock flashed in Sparrow’s tired eyes. “He… He’s…”
“Yes,” I breathed.
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Because either way, he’s gone.” My voice cracked.
Sparrow didn’t push me for more on the subject. “Did they ever catch them? The men who invaded your home?”
“Yeah. They worked for the company that set up our security system. They knew we were leaving because we’d complained the day before about the cameras not working. We told them the technician would have to wait until we got back home the following week.”
“What happened to them?” Sparrow asked.
“They ended up taking a plea bargain. They won’t be out for alongtime, if ever.” Hopefully they rotted in their prison cells longbefore being eligible for parole. The mention of them reminded me of something I’d been wondering.
“They claimed they’d dropped the money and some of the other items during their getaway. Hazards of overstocking a trash bag, I guess. The cops thought they were lying because, other than a couple of watches, nothing else was found outside our home. Was that how you ended up with the jewelry box, and how you’ve been taking care of yourself—and the others—out here?”
“Sorry. I can give back the money I have left.”
“No. No, Sparrow. You don’t have to. I’m just glad you managed to be okay. I’m glad Joshua enjoyed the lullaby. Can I hold you while you sleep?”
“Yeah. After I give you your big surprise.” He ambled into the closet while I sat with my confusion. He returned a short while later with his hair unbraided, the wavy strands flowing over his shoulders. I cupped my hands over my mouth, fighting back tears as he came closer. The pale blue sweater and matching skirt fit him tighter than they did Elliott, but they still looked good on him.
“I thought you were staying with me when I initially came up with the idea. I wanted you to have something of him. I thought you’d want this.” He sat on the bed, waiting for me to say something. It was a few minutes before I could speak.
“It means everything that you wanted to do this for me, but even now, I don’t see Elliott. I still. See. You.”
He blinked at me, offering a wobbly smile. I scooted back against the headboard, gesturing for him to come closer to me. He gingerly rested his back against my chest, and we stared out the window while I stroked his hair.
“Will you read to me?” he asked around a yawn.
“I thought you’d never ask.” I’d gotten a couple of chapters intoThe Edge of Everywherewhen Sparrow stopped me.
“Look,” he whispered, pointing to the window. “The polar night is over.”
I smiled into his hair as the sun rose higher in the sky, its light spreading over the shadows in the room. Sparrow’s breathing grew shallow, andmine sped up. I felt an urgent need to tell him one more thing before it was too late.
“I think he sensed you.”
“I-I miss someone, I think. Feels like I’m grieving without having someone to grieve for.”
“I think Elliott knew he’d been protected from the worst. You didn’t fail him, Sparrow,” I breathed. Enough time passed that I thought I’d missed my opportunity. But then the faint sound of his voice reached my ears.
“And neither did you.”
