Page 169 of Saving Sparrow
Elliott’s shoulders stiffened at Quentin’s shocked question, a guilty expression on his face.
“Areyou?” I asked.
“I… I told you I had to go to the bookstore this morning.”
“Not this again.” Quentin tossed his hands in the air.
“Not what again?” I looked between them. “Elliott, not what again?”
“What about last night?” Quentin barked. “You’re still going after last night?”
“Will someone tell me what the heck is going—”
“Iwasn’t the one who was supposed to change last night,” Elliott said. “You were, but it sounds like you’re still the same.”
“I forbid you to go.” Quentin jabbed a finger at him.
Elliott raised his chin. “I’m going anyway.”
“Not if I tie you up first.”
“Hey!” I jumped in front of Quentin, holding him back. “Tell me what’s going on now!”
Quentin wouldn’t take his eyes off Elliott, as if he thought he might disappear if he did. “He’s getting a job.”
“What?You didn’t mentionthatlast night.”
“Because I didn’t think it was relevant anymore.”
“So you, what, thought you fucked me back to my senses?” Elliott asked in a tone I wasn’t used to hearing from him.
“Yes!”
Elliott fumed. “I want my own money. I’m getting a job.”
I turned to Elliott, still holding a trembling hand against Quentin’s chest. “So, it’s true? You’re serious?”
The defiant fire in Elliott’s gaze faded, the shy, sweet guy I fell in love with peering back at me. “Yes,” he said softly. I could feel the thread holding us together unraveling, and it terrified me.
Quentin pushed against my hold. “Why are you doing this?” he whispered. “Why are you leaving us?”
“I’m not leaving you. Will you justlistento me?”
“Okay, yes, sure. I can do that.” Quentin nodded. “Talk to me.”
All hope drained from Elliott’s face. Quentin didn’t get it. Elliott had been talking to us for weeks now, even when not saying anything at all.
How could I have let us get here? It was easy talking Quentin down from the little things. Rushing through the woods for Elliott when he needed space. Convincing him to wait until Elliott was ready to talk about his sexuality, stopping him from dragging Elliott into our bed when he’d decided to sleep in the guest room at Dylan’s house…
All those things were easy because they didn’t cost us Elliott. Getting Quentin to see Elliott had room in his heart for other people, that he could make new friends and still love us… That was different because what if he couldn’t? What if he realized he didn’t need us at all?
We couldn’t hold on to him like this, though. We were pushing him away.
I had to fix this, fixus.I should’ve done it a long time ago. “Go, Ellie.”
Elliott’s eyes widened.
“What? No way.” Quentin’s breathing turned ragged, and I held him back with both hands now. “Elliott, don’t do this,” Quentin begged. Elliott paused with his hand on the doorknob, his gaze torn.
