Page 60 of Saving Sparrow
“Tell me what you meant by ‘I should have?’”
Sparrow’s hand fisted on the table, prompting me to answer his question, even though he hadn’t answered mine.
“He said nothing else.Askedme for nothing else. He continued to play with his toys while I sat with him.”
“So why were you two trying to enter the basement?”
“How do you know that?” If he didn’t know what we were talking about, or that I’d even gotten into Joshua’s room, then how did he know we were near the basement? We’d made it upstairs by the time he took over again. But Joshua felt him coming before then. Or feltsomeonecoming.
“Someone’s coming.”
Was he unaware of Sparrow too? Of Elliott?
“How do you know we were near the basement?”
“I felt his panic,” he bit out.
I averted my gaze, once again regretting involving Joshua. I knew he was afraid, even after I said I’d protect him. He went with me anyway, which spoke volumes about how innocent he was, and how badly he wanted to go outside and play.
Feeling Joshua’s panic didn’t explain how Sparrow knew we were near the basement. But Joshua had been to the basement before and feared going again. I assumed Sparrow somehow knew that, making it easy to deduce what had made Joshua fearful again.
“I won’t hurt him,” Sparrow whispered. My eyes snapped up to meet his, seeing a hint of the compassion Elliott always kept there. I believed him. I believed he wouldn’t do anything to make Joshua sad or more afraid. If anything, I was the one Joshua needed protecting from. Maybe that was exactly what Sparrow was doing when he tied me to the chair.
“He said his parents were in the basement.Why would he say that?”
Sparrow gave me a look equivalent to an eye roll. “Tell me, does that make sense to you?”
“Well, no, but—”
“Exactly. He’s a child. There’s nothing down there. It’s dank, decayed.” He made me feel likeIwas a child for even asking.
“Why are you always so tired?” I asked next, trying my hand at something that did make sense. I’d asked him before, but maybe this time he’d answer me.
Aside from when he launched into a full-blown rage, his body language never gave much away—except for when I’d watched him unnoticed in the kitchen. If I got anything but anger from him, it was in the tiny tells that were barely there. Something shifting in his gaze, his fingers tightening, a slight muscle tic in his jaw… It was the same now as he watched me with a pointed, calculating stare, as if wondering just how much to tell me.
“A switch can’t be held back forever. I can hold off for a long time, but eventually the pressure builds up, and my brain takes over.”
“So, since you can’t always hold back the switch, you make sure you control the environment.” I understood why Joshua had been locked in his room. “Are there others?”
“Yes.”
“How many?”
“One other… at the moment,” he gritted out, obviously reaching the end of his rope.
At the moment.My mind reeled as I struggled to decipher the meaning behind his words.
“Why are you telling me all this?” Asking why he was being nice to me didn’t feel accurate. He wasn’t being nice. If anything, he was barely tolerant of me. “And why did you bring me my things?” I’d been so nervous when I got down here, forgetting to thank him for that. I stilldidn’t have my phone or laptop, but he’d given me what mattered most, even if he didn’t know it.
He fell silent again, his features blank. I ventured a guess.
“Because he would have wanted you to,” I breathed, then followed his stare to the bandages on my hand.Because you’re sorry,I didn’t say.
“You believe me, don’t you?” My breath came faster. “You believe everything I told you upstairs tonight. You believe everything I’ve said since I got here. You know I love him.”
“Finish eating,” he ordered, unwilling to admit anything, “then pick up from where you left off.”
I did as he asked, then told him about the months leading up to Elliott’s birthday party, then filled him in on our first day of school. For the most part, Sparrow listened without interruption, only stopping me when I skipped over the events that happened after we got home from school.
