Page 96 of Only the Small Bones
William’s breathing picked up speed, blowing across my wet skin. My blood rushed to my ears, the pounding of my heart making it difficult to think. I forced myself to stay in this moment, to focus on William’s hands on me. I wasn’t sure of what to say, but then I thought back on something he once said to me.
“Don’t let them win, William.Please. Don’t let them win.”
I relaxed when his hold on me loosened, but I tensed up again when his tongue flattened over the scar tissue, followed by his lips pressing against it. I wanted to cry, I wanted to be fucked, but most of all I wanted to thank him for making me feel wanted, even with my scars.
He continued to lick and kiss me, pushing his tongue in and sending me up onto my toes with a shout that scraped againstmy raw throat. I backed into his mouth, grinding, my body moving on its own.
William stood in a sudden movement, spinning me to face him and kissing me hard and deep. “I need to be inside you.” He cut the water off and led us out of the shower, drying us off before linking his fingers through mine. He walked us to the living room, where the coffee table had been moved, and the couch shoved away so his mattress could take their place. I hadn’t even noticed it was missing from his bed frame.
“When did you do this?” The flowers were now in the living room too, their vases positioned along the floor.
“While you were in your room getting ready.” He relit a couple of candles, then stood there watching me while I stared at him.
“You’re sexy,” I blurted out, wanting to give just as much as I got from him.
“Oh, yeah?” His voice sounded low and warm, his grin doing things to my insides. “What about me do you find sexy?” He grabbed hold of his cock, stroking slowly as he licked the pad of one finger before rubbing it over one of his dark nipples. He was good at this.
“Your body, for sure.” I followed his lead, gripping my hard cock. William’s eyes lit up, his gaze eating up my every move. “Your soft skin, your wide shoulders, your strong thighs, and… the size of your dick.” We both picked up our pace, but I didn’t have the same self-control William did, so I slowed down when my spine began to tingle. “None of that would matter though, if your mind and your heart weren’t sexy too. They’re the first things I see when I look at you.”
He held himself at the base of his cock, bringing his breathing under control. “Get on the mattress, Asher.”
I nodded, a sheen of sweat blooming on my skin as I settled onto my back. William prowled over to me, his long cock tappingagainst his stomach muscles. He crawled on top of me, his forearms planted on either side of my head, caging me in. I tensed up for a second, and William pulled away. “No, it’s okay.” I held him there by his waist. “I want you like this.”
“If something doesn’t feel good, you tell me,” he whispered. “If you want to stop, we stop.”
“Okay.” I lifted my head to kiss him as he reached for a foil packet and bottle of lube I hadn’t noticed.
“Just you and me. If y-you want that.” I looked at the condom then back to William, second guessing my decision for a split second until I met his eyes.This is William. I’m safe. We’re safe.Removing the doubt from my voice, I asked, “Do you want to?”
“More than anything,” William sighed, setting it aside. We kissed until we were breathless, and I was ready for him to do anything and everything to me.
“Hold your legs open for me.” He sat up, spreading lube over my hole and both our cocks before coating his fingers with it. He settled between my legs again, holding himself up on one arm while circling a finger at my opening.
“Stroke your cock for me. Not too much pressure. I want you aroused, I want you to open up, but I want my cock to be the reason you come. Understand?”
I nodded, letting go of the sheet to reach for my dick.
“That’s it,” he praised, lowering his lips to mine as he pushed the tip of a finger in. I groaned, using my heels to push myself back. “Relax, Asher. Breath.” With his other hand, he gripped my hair, his fingers tugging until I felt the pull on my scalp. The sting took my mind off the fear and discomfort of him pushing into me. I refocused, keeping my eyes on his as I used both hands to hold our cocks together and lightly stroke them.
It took a while, and a lot more lube before three digits moved in and out of me with ease. Sweat covered our bodies, precum covered my hands.
William removed his fingers to line the tip of his cock up with my hole. I bunched the sheets in my fists again.
“Stay with me, Asher.”
“Always,” I breathed. I’d been about to close the door in my mind on all that happened to me in the past, but instead I chose to leave it open. I let it all in. I knew that after this, none of it would matter anymore. This would be my first time. This would be the only time that counted.
William sank into me slowly, air hissing from between his clenched teeth. I felt so stretched when he bottomed out. I didn’t know where his body began and mine ended. We were one in that moment. I wrapped my legs around him, and he lowered his forehead to mine, giving me time to adjust to him, time to be sure of what I wanted.
He ran his hand up and down my thigh, and the hands of the men who’d taken me with no right to, fell away. Their bruises faded with them. William kissed his way to my neck, and the hands that had brutally wrapped around it disappeared. The marks often left behind went too. And when he whispered how beautiful I was, how proud of me he was, the voices that said I was nothing, only worth what I was used for, went quiet. My head and heart were clear for the first time in my life. I never knew freedom could feel like this.
“I’m ready.” I hoped he knew those words went beyond this moment. I was ready to live.
William eased his hips back until I thought his cock might leave me altogether. I dug my heels into his lower back to stop him when all I had left was the tip. He sank in deep again, pushing me higher up on the mattress. I moaned, heat prickling my skin as he repeated the slow torture, grinding into me like he wanted to climb inside of me.
I held onto his forearms, meeting his slow thrusts.
“Fuck, you feel good,” he moaned. “Tell me it feels good to you too.”
