Page 64 of Only the Small Bones
“What’s the name?”
I inhaled a fortifying breath before whispering on the exhale, “Asher Gray. The name is Asher Gray.”
William
Choosing an outfit had to be the most challenging thing in the world when attraction was involved. Any other day, I lounged around in sweats or basketball shorts without giving it a second thought. Ryan was coming over, though, so I’d changed four times, and now I stared into the mirror wondering if the white button down I’d settled on looked too formal for an afternoon in.
I untucked it from my khakis, thinking maybe it would give me a more relaxed look. But with the hem now wrinkled, it made me appear unkempt.
My phone dinged from atop the closet island. The distinct chime assigned to my elevator. Ryan had entered it. I’d offered to pick him up from Safe Haven, but he’d said Peggy would give him a ride on her way home.
“Shit.” I unbuttoned the shirt, my fingers fumbling a few times before they were all undone. Jerking it off, I tossed it to the ground, reaching for the shelf holding my t-shirts. Tugging a plain black one over my head, I sped for the front door.
I shoved one hand in my pocket as I held the door open, trying for casual, the exact opposite of what Ryan would do. He’d keep it real without even knowing it.
Removing my hand, I drummed nervous fingers against the door instead. It felt more genuine. The elevator doors parted, revealing a bundled-up Ryan. He smiled at me with so much joy it nearly knocked me off my feet. I promised myself right then to never hide how happy he made me feel.
“Hey—” My greeting stalled in my throat when he moved into me for a brief hug. He pressed his cold nose into my neck, and I wrapped both arms around him, squeezing once before letting him go.
I hung his coat up while he kicked his Doc Martens off on the welcome mat. I then trailed him from a good distance away as he reacquainted himself with the apartment. I didn’t want him to feel smothered or rushed. Hard to believe he hadn’t been here in over a month.
Following behind him, I got to freely take in how sexy and gothic he looked in all black. The fitted crew neck sweater and matching jeans showcased his long limbs to perfection. The denim molded to his ass and thighs like paint. His curls were back, and just as rebellious as the day we first met.
He visited his bedroom, the kitchen—where we’d shared so many meals—before making a pit-stop at the dining room threshold.
Ryan peered over his shoulder at me, pain and apology in his eyes. The room had been cleaned, but the broken items were yet to be replaced. He moved on to the library next, plucking books from their places and flipping through the pages before returning them.
The nostalgia tour ended in the music studio, where Ryan quickened his pace through the live room to get to his violin. What if he decided to take it with him? I’d lose my only leverage in getting him to come back.To come home.Maybe I should have hidden it. Lied and said it was in the shop getting restrung.
I released those thoughts immediately, feeling the anxious energy they brought on melt away. Those types of thoughts were fear based, and would lead me nowhere good.
Ryan wasn’t obligated to make this his home once he left Safe Haven. His life was his own, which hadn’t been the case for a long time.
“Do you have time for a lesson?” I asked when he held it to his chest. He shook his head, placing it down with care before texting me.
Ryan:I want to watch His Eternal Love. I finished the book this morning.
“That was fast,” I said, unprepared for his request.
Ryan:It wasn’t a long book. Plus I didn’t waste time on the words I couldn’t understand like I used to. I had to get to the end of their story.
“Okay.” I cleared my throat. “Have you eaten? I’ve got some food keeping warm in the oven.”
Ryan’s eyes widened.
“Relax, I ordered in,” I assured him with a laugh. “I hope that’s okay.” I realized I hadn’t asked, and just because he ate what the cook’s prepared over at Safe Haven, it didn’t mean he didn’t oversee it.
Ryan:It’s fine. They order pizza on game nights. I sneak a slice sometimes as I watch them play.
I’d never felt prouder.
We ate, and then Ryan excused himself to change into something more conducive to watching television on the couch all day. He’d left some clothing behind. I used the time to switch into something more comfortable too.
He returned in sweats and a baggy t-shirt. The collar hung loose, and I considered he might have chosen that particular shirt because of the access it offered to my favorite spot on him.
Grabbing the giant bowl of caramel popcorn off the coffee table, he flopped onto the cushion next to me. He’d never sat this close to me on the couch before. Our bodies were no more than an inch from touching. He didn’t seem to notice.
Ryan watched the show with the type of focus reserved for test taking. By episode three the two male leads shared their firston-screen kiss. Ryan moved in a trance-like state to the end of the couch, putting him closer to the TV. Unlike the film he’d seen Xavier and I work on in the studio, Ryan didn’t watch this solely for enjoyment. This was an assignment to him.
