Page 57 of Only the Small Bones
Ryan:I’ve had lots of practice. It’s how I communicate with everyone here. I use it in my therapy sessions too. So thank you.
Me:You’re welcome.
I wanted to tell him he didn’t have to thank me, but I understood gratitude was an important part of the process.
Ryan:I got a job in the kitchen. Waffles are my specialty. Chef Shawn taught me how to make them from scratch. If you come by for breakfast one day, I can make you some.
Me:I’d love that.
Ryan:Tomorrow.
I smiled, burrowing into my pillows. Either he didn’t know how to play hard-to-get, or he simply didn’t care to. Either way, his directness pleased me. It aligned with the way I felt, because I wanted nothing more than to cancel all my plans, to drop everything and go to him. That would’ve taken us backward, though, and I wanted to go forward with him.
Me:I can’t. I’ve decided to meet with Senator Roberts to discuss the bill he’ll be presenting to congress. I’ll be in D.C. most of the day.
Ryan:I’m glad you decided to do it. Thursday?
Me:Can we make it lunch instead? I started therapy again. I have a session that morning.
Ryan:Those are important.
Me:So lunch, then?
Ryan:Yes.
Me:What should I bring?
Ryan:Nothing. But wear your green sweater.
My green sweater? The only green sweater I owned my mother had bought me last Christmas. It matched my eyes. She’d said it made me extra handsome, but I’d chalked it up to all mothers believing their kids were beautiful. I’d worn it around the house once, on a chilly day.He noticed.
Me:Are you saying you like me in that sweater?
I bit the inside of my cheek.
Ryan:Yes.
He added a blushing emoji, which made me choke on my laugh. Shy even in text exchanges.
Me:Good to see some things are the same.
Me:Sexy green sweater it is.
I added the zany face emoji.
The three dots appeared and vanished an agonizing number of times. I wanted to shout:Send it! Send it! Whatever it is, just send it.
Ryan:I miss kissing you.
Heat pooled low in my stomach. Was he trying to give me a heart attack? I needed a little warning before he said all the things I wanted to hear but never thought I would. I tried my own hand at being upfront.
Me:I miss kissing you too. I miss sleeping with you even more.
Ryan:Me too. Can I kiss you when I see you?
I kicked the blanket off me, suddenly feeling overheated. I stopped myself from telling him he didn’t have to. I didn’t want to revert back to my habit of making things okay for him. My habit of enabling his fears, which could make him second guess himself. He knew he didn’t have to. I had to trust that. So if he asked if he could, it was because he wanted to.
Me:Yes, you can.
