Page 49 of Only the Small Bones
“No always means no, Ryan. And just because that wasn’t your reality then, it doesn’t mean that it isn’t now. You don’t need to be afraid or ashamed of your arousal, and when you’re ready, just know that sex can be the most beautiful thing you’ve ever taken part in. And if you’re never ready, that’s okay too. Sex doesn’t need to be the measuring stick used to determine if you’re whole. To determine if you’re worthy. You already are.” I pressed my lips together to keep them from quivering.
I wanted to give him something. I wanted toshowhim what it could look and feel like if he ever chose to explore his own body.
Hopping down from the table, I used a shoe covered foot to herd the broken glass near me into a neat pile several feet away. Then I returned to my spot and began to strip, painstakingly slow. I kicked off one shoe, waiting for some sign that he couldn’t handle this before removing the other.
“Sometimes I get so turned on when I’m around you,” I said nervously. What if I scared him further? What if my honesty made him terrified to be near me? Ryan eased forward another inch, his chin now exposed to the moonlight.
I unbuttoned my pants, taking my time to lower the zipper. He took another step toward me. “Sometimes jerking off once isn’t enough. Sometimes it takes a couple orgasms before I can be in the same room with you.” I shoved my pants down, kicking out of them and cupping myself through my boxer briefs. Ryan hadn’t retreated, so I continued.
“Anything can set me off. Like watching you struggle with a note during our violin lessons. You do this cute thing where you scrunch up your face, and you stare at the instrument like it’s your mortal enemy.” My cock grew heavier, firming up as I spoke.
“See?” I whispered, gesturing to the imprint of it beneath the tight cotton. The lower half of his face was exposed now. “This is what you do to me, Ryan.” My cockhead reached for the waistband of my underwear.
“Sometimes it’s the way the tips of your ears heat when you’re embarrassed, or the way you slam your door when you’re tired of my rambling, or when you just need to be alone. You’re mercurial, and I fantasize about having you through each and every one of your moods.” I swallowed. “I come the moment my hand touches my dick on those occasions.” I started on the third button of my shirt, the top two already undone.
“The way you run, so efficient and graceful. The way you eat like you haven’t eaten in days. With so much gusto and… hunger. The way your curls are tighter around the nape of your neck, but looser near your crown. The way you never seem to think about a haircut, or fuss about the clothes I buy you, or the bath products I choose for your bathroom. You’re low maintenance.Your outer beauty means nothing to you, but it means so much to me because it matches your inner beauty.”
I hesitated after undoing the final button, but then I reminded myself he’d seen my back before and hadn’t made a big deal out of it. I peeled my shirt away, my chest filling with arrogant pride when the volume of his breathing increased.
“I want to show you what you do to me, Ryan,” I whispered. “I want to show you how an orgasm, how self-pleasure, should look and feel. Let me redefine this for you.”
I peeled my boxer briefs off, then stretched out on the center of the table, planting my feet flat on it. Spitting into my palm, I wrapped it around the base of my shaft and stroked upward. My other hand gripped the edge of the table as I let out a needy moan.
I continued to work myself in an unhurried rhythm, raising my head at the sound of Ryan’s footsteps. He emerged from the shadows, stepping into the moonlight, his eyes shimmering with unshed tears and curiosity.
“Fuck,” I bit out letting my head fall back, a desperate need to come blurring my vision. I felt the muscles in my neck grow taut as my body jerked and clenched all over.
Chair legs scraped along the floor, and I glanced between my spread legs to see Ryan seating himself at the head of the table. He watched with intrigue, splaying his palms flat on the wooden surface as I beat my dick.
“I won’t l-last long,” I bit out, hand pumping faster as my balls drew close to my body, “with you s-staring at me like that.” I swiped a thumb over my sticky slit, swirling a finger over the sensitive tip before jerking just the top half of my cock. The fingers of my other hand dug into the underside of the table.
“Lick your lips,” I ordered. Ryan’s gaze flew to my face, eyes widening. “Lick those luscious lips for me. Yes, that’s it,” I praised when he obeyed. He blushed, then went back toobsessing over my dick, his eyes went wide when a rope of precum squirted out.
“It feels… so…good,” I said, my voice rough with lust. Ryan sat like a man before a feast, and the sight made me even hotter. Sweat glistened all over my body, and I dug my heels into the table as my climax began to take shape.
Spitting on my middle finger, I relaxed my body enough to squeeze the thick digit inside my hole, hissing at the burn as I plunged it in and out of me.“Fuck…”I groaned, striking my prostate over and over again.
Ryan’s stare bounced between my face, my ass, and the painful erection I damn near strangled. I tugged my finger free, crying out from the loss of it before wetting my index finger and shoving them both in. I arched off the table, whipping my fist up and down my cock as I came all over myself. I barked out something unintelligible, toes curling as I forced a third finger in, feeling the ache but not giving a damn.
I played with myself through the aftershocks, my bicep getting a workout as my asshole clenched around my fingers.
My body dropped to the table when it was over, limbs falling in every direction and I blinked slowly, struggling to see past the fireworks my orgasm set off.
Ryan pushed up from his chair, strolling the length of the table, drinking in every available inch of me, his fingers dragging along the edge of the surface as he went.
I felt his gaze like a soft wind along my feet, then up my calves and thighs. I wondered for a split second how he perceived my scars in this moment, but inwardly sighed with relief when the sight of them didn’t make him falter.
He paused near my hip, captivated by the mess dripping down my groin. Some of it slid down my ball sack as well. A final drop dribbled through my slit as he watched. I pinched mycockhead, helping the thick, pearly white bead of cum erupt over the tip.
Ryan reached a quivering hand toward it, then pulled back.
“It’s okay,” I whispered, sated and drowsy. “You can touch me if you want.”
He scanned my upper half, and I resisted tensing up under his perusal. Going back to my cock, which now relaxed on its side, softening, Ryan reached his fingers out again. They traveled up from my hip, then through the trimmed hair surrounding my pubic area.
“Your fingers were made to torture me.” I shuddered under his touch. I was spared the overstimulation when he stopped before reaching my dick. He coated a finger with my release, examining it before bringing it to his nose for a sniff. He then sampled it with the very tip of his tongue.
“It’s an acquired taste,” I breathed as he explored the flavor of it.
