Page 47 of Only the Small Bones
My senses weren’t returning fast enough, I still kissed at his mouth, following him after he’d retreated from me. It tooka punch to my shoulder for me to jump away. Ryan slumped forward, catching himself with his palms on his knees.
“Fuck, I… I…” Everything hurt. My head, my heart, my balls and my cock. I stumbled backward, throwing my hands out for something to break my fall. I bumped into the table, sending it and a few chairs screeching across the floor.
Ryan watched me from his bent position, his hair now wild and free, chest heaving.
I needed to say something, needed to do something to fix this, to help him, but I couldn’t even see straight. My arousal still had a hold of me, like the part of my brain in charge of my desire had malfunctioned.
“S-sorry. I’ll b-be right back,” I stammered, taking uncoordinated steps toward the archway. There was movement behind me, then something crashed to the floor. I whirled around to find Ryan near the head of the dining room table, anger bleeding from his eyes, a chair toppled over on its side.
I spun away again, needing to escape so I could handle the need raging through me. Between the alcohol, the months spent locked away with him here, and the rough encounter we’d just had, I thought I might explode.
Ahead of me, something hit the wall with an explosive crack, and glass shattered everywhere. I stared at the shards in disbelief, turning slowly to find Ryan by the drink cart, the other tumbler in his hand. But I wouldn’t give him what he wanted. I wouldn’t give him a fight.
I made for the entryway again, this time quickening my pace. I heard the whistle of the tumbler passing before it connected with the opposite wall. I ducked, covering my head to protect myself from the sharp projectile.
My own hostility took over. I whirled around to him and roared, “What do you want from me?!” I charged over to him. Ryan nearly tripped over the wheel of the cart to avoid beingrun down by me. “Tell me what you want,” I gritted out, placing my hands onto the sides of his head and shaking. “Tell me what the hell you want!” I could only remember being this upset once before in my life. And like then, the anger was mostly misplaced. “You can’t give me more, but you don’t want me to leave. Tell me what to do here, Ryan,” I pleaded.
He knocked my hands away to swoop in and kiss me. I froze for a split second before getting on board. Ryan had never kissed me with such passion before. Our unabated mutual lust rose to inferno levels, but he pushed me away before we got a chance to incinerate everything to the ground.
“I’m going to my room,” I said, my voice roughened by pent up arousal. “Don’t stop me.” I backed away a couple of steps while he panted heavily, his hair a halo of chaos around his face. He took a step forward, and I held up a hand to ward him off as shards of glass crunched beneath my shoes. “I can’t do this with you. Not tonight. Don’t—”
He was on me before I’d finished my warning, his hands fisted in my shirt as he slaughtered me with his kiss. I growled, fisting his tuxedo jacket to keep him on his feet as I used my larger body to back him up. We were against the window again, both of us manic, the kiss chaotic, animalistic, raw.
Ryan slapped at my chest, and I reared back instantly, my lips curling in rage. He was playing with me now, egging me on as though trying to force a different version of me to the surface.
He sagged against the glass, blood smeared his top lip. I touched my fingers to my own mouth, they were red when I pulled them away. I couldn’t say who bit who.
I was sweaty, exhausted, and horny as fuck. The effects of the alcohol deepened by the minute instead of fading. I needed to punch something, and I needed my cock in my fist ASAP. I attempted to leave again. This time Ryan flipped the whole tableover, the crash of the centerpiece smashing activating my body’s emergency brake system.
I took in the destruction. “You’re making a habit of destroying my shit,” I said in a deceptively calm tone I didn’t recognize.
Ryan stepped out of the way of the table and debris, circling the chair he’d previously knocked over and retreating to the darkest corner of the room. He’d increased the distance I’d have to travel to get to him. He was a wreck, but beneath the blood and sweat and harsh breaths, he looked pleased with himself. He had me where he wanted me.
The voices taunted me as I stalked him. They wanted me to put him down. To bend him over and fuck him until he fell apart.
I unbuttoned the cuffs of my sleeves, rolling them up my forearms as I approached. The ticking of the grandfather clock added an ominous tone to the violent and sexually charged mood.
“Oh, no you don’t,” I said with a menacing edge, hauling him back into his corner when he tried to slip past me. His spine slammed into the wall. “It’s too late for that.” I ripped his jacket away from his shoulders, yanking it down his arms and casting it aside before tearing open his shirt. Buttons flew in every direction. “This is what you wanted, right?”
Ryan’s hiss of pain melted into a moan when I jerked his head back and dove in with teeth bared for his neck. He pushed at my chest again, and I bit down with enough pressure to still him, but not enough to break skin.
I sucked my mark into his flesh as he rose to his toes, keening at the back of his throat. “You’ll be irrevocably mine when I’m done with you,” I snarled, before latching onto a fresh patch of skin. He bucked into me, but I was stronger, and when he tugged at the neck of my shirt, I pinned both his wrists to the wall.
“This is how you wanted me, right?” I breathed close to his face, kicking his ankles apart so I could settle my cock against his. He turned his head away when I lowered to kiss him, my lips meeting his cheek. I bit down there too, stealing the kiss I wanted when he jerked his head back around. He tasted like blood, salt, and adrenaline, and I let go of his wrists to shred the tank top he wore down the middle.
Seeing his scars snapped me out of my craze. He covered himself with his hands and I grabbed hold of my aching head. “I’m sorry.” I turned to dash out of there, but he yanked me to a stop by the neck of my shirt.
I snarled in frustration, going at him again, ducking my head to seal my mouth over one nipple. He made a wounded sound, his feet slipping on the hardwood floor.
I lifted him by the hips, his legs automatically wrapping around me even though his hands were now pushing at my face. “Why are you fighting me?!” I no longer recognized myself. I rutted against him, undulating as though I were already inside him. “Tell me what you want?! Tell me! Do you want me to take it? Is that what you want?”
My blood iced over in my veins, the wrongness of this whole situation striking me like a bullet to my chest. Even the voices abandoned me to my insanity. An insanity they’d instigated along with Ryan. I was the one to blame, though. This was all on me.
His feet hit the floor, and I backed away in abject horror. “Is that… Is that what you want?” I peered down at the buttons and pieces of torn fabric on the floor, then at my hands in disgust. Ryan didn’t have to answer me, guilt covered his face in shades of red. Why would he want me to do something so vile? Why… The only reason I could think of made my stomach roll.
“Is that what they did to you?” I whispered, praying he said no. I wanted to fall to my knees and scream to the heavens,begging God to let the answer be no. My whole being, everything I was and used to be hung on by a thread as I waited for the answer I already knew.
I ransacked my memory for the words he’d written down on paper. It seemed like eons ago now. I went over all of them in my head.
