Page 41 of Only the Small Bones
“If you want this,” I breathed in a husky tone, “you’ll have to be the one to take it.” I couldn’t afford to get it wrong again. He’d need to make the final move.
We both clutched at our pillows now, bodies ram-rod straight and untouching.
Ryan licked his lips, the tip of his tongue accidentally brushing my mouth, pulling a strangled moan from me.
“Ryan,” I groaned. I’d never been this turned on by a moment so pure in all my life. I’d had sex on private planes, been fucked on the deck of a yacht in broad daylight, and had threesomes with foreign delegates. But none of that compared to having Ryan—my beautiful, broken counterpart—in my bed, not laying a hand on me, yet touching me in ways no one ever had.
I could barely see through the haze of anticipation. I felt fulfilled and his lips hadn’t even brushed mine. Satisfied, and my cock hadn’t even spilled a drop. The rush of excitement, fear and lust made me dizzy. But the best part of it all, was the feeling flooding my heart.
“I don’t need more,” I breathed. “This is enough.Youare enough.”
My words lit a fire in Ryan’s eyes. He breached the miniscule gap, covering my mouth with his. I let out a low whimper that should have embarrassed me, but I couldn’t think past my shock to focus on that.
Neither of us moved, other than to continue strangling the pillows clamped between our hands. It was a soft press of ourlips, barely any pressure at all, but I felt it in every corner of my mind and body.
Ryan pushed a little harder until my lips were pressed against my teeth. Our eyes were open.
Tentatively, he parted his mouth, and I followed his lead, allowing his shy tongue in. We groaned in unison, Ryan’s grip moving to his shirt collar, as my toes curled beneath the blanket.
He tasted minty, and my gums tingled in the wake of his tongue’s exploration. I grew hot as he became greedy, and I ripped the duvet away as his back arched, body leaning forward instead of away.
Our legs writhed as the kiss deepened, our breathing escalating to dangerous heights. Abruptly, Ryan pulled away, my lips puckering in chase of his. He rolled to his back, staring up at the ceiling. I followed, willing the fire spreading through my body to recede.
“Will you stay?” I whispered after a while. With the moment now cooling, remnants of what I’d been feeling before he knocked on my door started to creep back into my mind. I felt raw, and I needed him. From the corner of my eye I saw him nod.
“Thank you.” I shifted to my side, facing away from him, tracing my kiss-warmed lips.
My hopes were low for getting any sleep, but with him there with me it didn’t matter. Maybe he sensed my turmoil, or perhaps he was dealing with his own, but I could’ve wept when he inched closer.
I sighed, wondering if he knew how much it meant to me right then to have his back up against mine. To have hisbonesup against mine.
William
We slept together every night after that, and kissed before bed. We ensured only our lips touched, because physical contact in more than one way at a time overwhelmed Ryan. It took all his energy to keep the panic at bay while he kissed me. Having to focus on anywhere else our bodies touched would’ve been too much.
We’d kiss, then he’d let me bury my nose in his neck, where I breathed him in before skimming my lips down to his shoulder. Then, we’d roll over and fall asleep back-to-back.
There was kissing and scenting during the day too, just not as all-consuming as when our bodies were aligned in the dark. A surprise peck on my cheek as I ate dinner, or he’d trail a finger down his throat while we watched the rain from the living room floor. A not-so-subtle request for my lips to be there.
Ryan could be demanding too. If I was in the library reading or responding to emails, or engrossed in a movie we were watching, he’d sit on my desk—disrupting my paperwork—or toss popcorn at me to get my attention. I’d stalk him while he backed into a corner leaving himself with nowhere to go. Then he’d close his eyes and raise his chin as he parted his lips for me. I’d make the kiss count, knowing it would be mere seconds before he retreated.
I’d leave him flushed and visibly aroused, then back away with a smile, because I couldn’t seem to stop smiling lately.
I didn’t prey on his reactions, or take advantage of what I thought his body wanted. His mind held the control, and it never hesitated to shut things down once he couldn’t handle any more. I’d simply excuse myself to take care of my own needs in private before returning. It had been the best two weeks of my life.
“Are you almost ready? It’s a thirty-minute drive across town, more if there’s traffic. We’re going to be late,” I complained from outside Ryan’s bedroom door. He’d been in there getting ready for over an hour. I never got impatient with him, but I was already on edge because he’d logged into the medical portal for his test results and had yet to confirm if everything came back okay.
I didn’t ask. He had a right to his privacy, but he’d avoided it for over a week after learning they were available. Relief flooded me when he held up a note with the words I’d been waiting for scrolled across it.
I’m ready.
I showed him how to create the online account, then stepped away so he could set up his password and log in. He then stared at the screen for an agonizing amount of time before logging out and leaving me standing there to think the worst.
I’d printed out my results the moment I got the email saying they were ready. I’d shared them with him, hoping it would give him the courage to face his, and also to explain how to interpret them once he did.
“Take your time,” I said. Entering a ballroom gala with close to a thousand people in attendance would be staggering for anyone, let alone Ryan. He had a right to take all the time in the world. “No rush.”
I’d made it to the end of the hall when his door opened. My shiny Oxfords squeaked against the floor as I spun around.
