Page 30 of Only the Small Bones
“Turn around,” I whispered. He shook his head, hands flexing in front of him. “Please, trust me.”
His chest expanded with his inhale, but then he faced away from me. I allowed myself only a second of uncertainty before pressing my back to his. Ryan stiffened, both of us no longer breathing.
We slept in this position for over a week. We’d done so with nothing but our clothes between us the last couple of nights. I never initiated it, though. Ryan was the one in control, the one to decide, and he would sneak into my room and do soafterI fell asleep.
Ryan wasn’t in the mood for physical contact, but I’d taken the liberty anyway, hoping for me he’d make an exception. He relaxed into me after a minute, and I did the same.
“They’ll need to take your blood pressure. The nurse will do that.” My voice echoed around us. “She’ll secure the cuff around one bicep, then press a button to inflate it. It’ll temporarily block the blood flow in your arm. That’ll allow her to measure your blood pressure. She said she can do this without touching your skin,” I pointed out, and his shaking subsided.
“And your weight. You’ll step on a scale for that. She’ll need to take a few vials of your blood for testing. She’ll tie a tourniquet around your arm, maybe ask you to make a fist, then she’ll search the crook of your elbow for a good vein before inserting a thin needle into it. It’ll feel like a quick pinch,” I hurried to say when he grew agitated again. He’d felt a needle prick his skin before. They’d had to sedate him at the hospital, and I was sure he’d been drugged in that way in the past.
“She’ll wear gloves,” I added, hoping it helped. “No skin-to-skin contact. But she will need to touch you.” I pressed further into him in an attempt to absorb his fear, whispering for him to take a deep breath.
“They’ll ask you to pee in a cup. That’s always fun,” I said in a wry tone. “I end up needing to run the faucet and think about waterfalls to get my body to cooperate.” I looked back to see if he’d smile or laugh at my joke, but he did neither.
“They’ll ask questions about your medical history. Your family’s medical history too.” I moved on quickly. “They’ll want to know what types of medications you’re on, if there’s been any changes to your health since your last exam… Things like that. I’ve already told Dr. Baptiste that getting those answers won’t be possible this time. He understands.”
His posture softened, so I turned and waited for him to look at me. His big, ebony eyes shimmered like they did sometimes when his emotions were too heavy for him. If only I could hold him.
“They may do a few other things, but it’ll be okay. They won’t hurt you,” I promised. “I’ll go first, if you want. And I’ll stay when it’s your turn, if you want that too.”
Ryan wiped the sweat from his forehead with the sleeve of his sweater, before nodding once. I’d never grow tired of that. Now that he’d deemed me worthy of his gestures, they never stopped coming. Nods, head shakes, a palm extended when he wanted me to shut up. I tended to ramble, and even though he didn’t speak, he made it clear his ears worked just fine.
I left him to unbundle himself, and was sitting on a stool with the blood pressure cuff around my arm when he crept into the kitchen. He looked from the empty tubes lining the rack on the island, to the nurse concentrating on my pressure reading.
“Good morning, Ryan,” Dr. Baptiste greeted from where he sat in front of his open laptop. Ryan startled at his voice, he hadn’t noticed him sitting on the other side of the kitchen. The doctor stood. “I hope you don’t mind me calling you Ryan. William assured me it would be okay.”
It hadn’t occurred to me until then that I didn’t know Ryan’s last name. Ryan didn’t answer him, but Dr. Baptiste wasn’t offended by it. He knew enough about Ryan not to be.
“Natasha will take your vitals once she’s done with William. I’ll step in to review those results, and to go over what we’ll be testing you for. I’ll check to make sure everything sounds nice and healthy internally, and to answer any questions you may have.”
Ryan looked at the pencil and paper I’d left on the island for him.
“There are a few forms I’ll need you to sign first, though.” Dr. Baptiste gave him a warm smile. “And William expressed that you’d like him to be present for it all. Is that correct?”
Ryan nodded, a curl springing free from his elastic tie.
Dr. Baptiste pointed to the small stack of paperwork on the counter. “Everything’s there for you whenever you’re ready. I can explain anything you have trouble understanding, but it’s pretty straightforward consent and privacy stuff. William can confirm that as well.” He retook his seat and slipped his glasses back on, splitting his attention between his screen and the file in his hand.
It didn’t take long for Natasha to finish up with me. She passed me a specimen cup and asked me to fill it to the indicated line. “I’ll be right back,” I whispered to Ryan, who still stood several feet away from all the activity.
Returning from the bathroom, I handed the cup over to Natasha, looking Ryan over to make sure he’d made it through my short absence unscathed.
“Remove your shirt and have a seat,” Dr. Baptiste said from behind me. I whipped my head around in panic to find him inserting his stethoscope plugs into his ears. He gestured toward my stool, rubbing the bell against his lab coat to warm it.
My back burned in all the spots I wanted to keep hidden. “We keep our shirts on.”
Dr. Baptiste didn’t argue. I’d never declined removing my shirt during an exam before, so he likely assumed I did so now in support of Ryan’s needs.
I sat, and he reached under the hem of my t-shirt with the bell, placing it against my skin and instructing me to take deep breaths in and out. He listened to my lungs next.
Dr. Baptiste added a few notes to my file, then looked over the rim of his glasses at Ryan then back to me.
“It’s okay,” I said, knowing he wanted confirmation before discussing my medical history in front of Ryan. We went over my current medications and the status of my runner’s knee.
“And you’d like to be tested foreverything, is that correct?” He glanced at Ryan again.
“Yes,” I replied. It seemed like a lifetime ago since I last had sex, but I always had them run the full works on my blood and urine samples anyway. I didn’t see the harm in being thorough. They’d be running all the same tests for Ryan, especially considering his situation.
