Page 74 of The Caretaker
“Hey,” Deb whispered as my brother-in-law chatted up Cole and Jasper. “Leelee Bear will get over himself. And if not, I’ll give him a noogie for you.”
I huffed a laugh for her benefit, vaguely recalling an incident when she did give Leland a noogie on my behalf. “He’d eaten the last of the strawberry cake you’d made. That last slice had been for me, right?” I asked, a bit hesitant. Her eyes, green like my own, shimmered. The noogie and the cake had been clear before. I’d been missing what connected the two. It was her love for me. I’d always been bigger than her, but it never mattered. Not when it came to defending me against others. I gave my heart a moment to absorb that.
“Yeah,” she said fondly. She didn’t push for more, and I appreciated that. It made me relax in a way I hadn’t been able to since arriving here. Maybe Solace was right. Maybe all they expected, all they’d wanted for me was to be happy.
“I can’t say I understand why he’s so upset.” I spoke low enough to not interrupt the conversation happening around us. “Some people don’t discuss what’s going on in their marriage. Not even to their best friend.”
“I don’t think that’s the problem,” she said, elaborating at my bemusement. “You and Leland had lost contact for some time after you and Stacey moved to New York.”
“Yeah,” I said, waiting for her to continue. That part I knew. It was why I had no recent memories of him. Our reunion, and the family we all created afterward, happened within the last couple of years before the accident. The years I was still missing.
“I think how he feels might go back to the state of your friendship before you left Seattle.”
“What do you mean?” I sat up straighter, keeping my voice low.
“I get the impression, from little things he’s said here and there, that there was a time when he didn’t feel worthy of your friendship. That maybe you two might have grown apart because of it.”
I had no recollection of that as it pertained to our childhood, so I thought hard about my young adult years. That point in time was relatively clear to me. I could recall spending less time with Leland after Stacey and I began dating. At that point she and I were ready to start a new life together, and had begun planning for it. I’d encouraged Leland to come to New York with us, to pursue his artistic dreams. He hadn’t wanted to do either at the time.
Then I moved, and we lost contact after life and thousands of miles got in the way. But him not feeling worthy of our friendship was news to me. I’d been about to ask Deb for more context when Leland and Franklin returned. The former held a case of Stella in his hand.
I readied myself to make the first move in smoothing things over with him, but he beat me to it, popping the cap on two bottles before falling into Solace’s vacated seat and handing one over to me. He clinked his bottle against mine before leapinginto the ongoing debate over the lack of art programs in schools, a subject he was passionate about.
Leland nudged me with an elbow when all I did was stare at him in confusion. “We’re okay,” he said, his smile reassuring. I nodded, taking a swig of my beer.
Solace eventually returned, informing Deb that the boys were asleep in their playpen.
“You don’t have to get up,” he told Leland before taking a seat in my lap.
“I missed you,” I whispered into his ear when he settled against my chest.
“I’m here now,” he replied, stealing and finishing off the rest of my beer before scrunching up his nose in distaste.
“We’ll raid Cole’s wine cellar tomorrow,” I said. He kissed my forehead in thanks. “Hey, that’s my move.”
“It’s ours now,” he said before the discussion turned to him. He answered every question directed at him with ease. I sat and watched as, over the course of the night, everyone fell in love with him.
When stories involving me came up, I didn’t resist them like I normally did. I listened with fascination and acceptance, even asking an abundance of questions. There were moments when I got to be part of the story telling. Moments when something mentioned lined up with something I remembered, some detail I hadn’t forgotten. The whole night provided missing puzzle pieces, but what mattered most were the new memories we were making together.
I’d taken the pressure off myself, like Solace suggested, and before I knew it, the people surrounding me didn’t feel like burdens of expectation anymore. They felt like family.
Noon
Now
THE FOLLOWING AFTERNOON,I slipped from the patio dining table after a parenting discussion over lunch segued into a spirited argument about alternative rock and classical music. Cole believed the latter to be more stimulating to a child’s creative mind, and Deb snorted, calling his opinion snobbish.
Their voices grew distant the deeper into the house I went, until all I could hear were the soft snores of a congested baby as I neared the living room. I stopped on the threshold, observing Solace sleeping on the couch with two dozing ten-month-olds sprawled haphazardly across his chest.
The smaller of the two, Jackson, sucked on his thumb as he slept, while Nigel held the end of Solace’s French braid.
“He got them to nap,” Deb said in a hushed tone, startling me.
“Make a little noise next time,” I grumbled, pressing a hand to my racing heart. “I didn’t hear you coming.”
“You were too busy drooling over him,” Leland whispered, flanking my other side and scaring me to death. He motioned to Solace, and I couldn’t help my smile.
Both he and Deb backed away from the archway with me. We didn’t go too far. I didn’t want to wake them, but I also didn’t want to take my eyes off of Solace.
