Page 73 of The Caretaker
Solace was my trusted guide into the past, the hand leading me down memory lane. He knew everything about me, a testament to how close and how in love we’d been during those months I couldn’t get back. And as we weaved our way through our new reality, he took every opportunity to remind me why every moment was precious. He reminded me why I loved chamomile tea, that my favorite color was blue because I lovedhis eyes, and that the reason I enjoyed football so much was because my fourth-grade teacher did, and he’d been the closest thing I’d had to a father for a few years.
I’d fall asleep to stories of me, and wake up asking for more. Solace never grew tired of my requests to hear the same story more than once, and he told them in the most patient and theatrical way, as if he was there when it all happened.
The best parts were when I could jump in and add details of my own, when the fuzzy memories became clear. The more he filled me in on my past, the clearer things became, until I now not only recalled some pivotal moments of my adolescence, but I remembered how they made me feel.
Solace had been right. My anger and grief hadn’t allowed room for Leland’s and Deb’s help after the accident. Now armed with the truth—armed with Solace—I was ready to listen in a way I hadn’t been. Ready to accept what I was being told in a way I wasn’t before.
“We’re here,” I said, turning onto the private drive of Cole and Jasper’s property. Solace squeezed my hand as I continued to the front of the house. By the time I’d hopped out of the truck and rounded to his side, Cole and Jasper’s front doors were thrown open.
Cheers of joy greeted us—or me. They hadn’t noticed Solace yet. Listening to his advice, I told myself they were happy to see me, that they weren’t waiting with anticipation for me to do some song and dance that the old Noon would have done.
They approached the truck. Deb with a baby on each hip, and Leland at the front of the procession. “How was traffic?” he asked, his smile faltering when I stepped out of the way so Solace could climb out. Everyone stopped to stare at him, even the babies, who’d been squirming and whining to be put down.
“Everyone, this is Solace. Solace, this is…everyone.”
Solace came to stand at my side, and no one missed when he took my hand in his. He’d chosen the side that put him close to my sister with the babies now reaching for him with grabby hands. He shook a meaty little paw of the one closest, nearly losing a finger when he tried to extract them. “I forgot how strong they can be,” he said before saying hello to the rest of the group.
They stood open-mouthed until I cleared my throat, shaking them out of their stunned silence. Simultaneously, they offered varying greetings of hi, hello, how’s it going, and nice to meet you.
“Not awkward at all,” I murmured for Solace’s ears only. Cole ushered everyone inside, and the crowd dispersed.
My sister and brother-in-law went off to change the babies as they opened and closed their fists toward Solace, as if begging him to rescue them. Franklin headed for the kitchen to check on the food he was preparing for lunch, which seemed to make Leland nervous.
“We’ll make sure he doesn’t burn the place down,” Cole said before he and Jasper disappeared, leaving Solace and me with my best friend.
“Well,” Leland said, scratching his head in confusion. “I’m guessing this has something to do with why you’ve been gone for so long.”
“Yeah,” I said, unsure of where to start.
“And I’m also guessing I owe you an apology for sending you packing at the hospital,” he said to Solace. Then to me he said, “Our phone conversation makes sense now.”
The conversation about the unstable guy at the hospital. The conversation about Solace.
“It’s okay,” Solace said, waving him off. “Everything worked out how it was supposed to.” He took my hand again, something he did a lot, something I was beyond grateful for.
“What’s going on, Noon?” Leland asked, his brown eyes drifting between both Solace and me. There was an ache behind his gentle tone. He had to have felt left out of my life, even more so than usual. Maybe blindsiding him with Solace wasn’t such a great idea.
“We’ll explain everything soon,” I promised. First, I needed a moment to regroup.
“Okay,” he said, combing a hand through his cropped hair. “I’ll show you guys to your room.”
I grabbed up our bags and followed.
We made pleasant conversation as we all ate together, temporarily ignoring the herd of elephants in the room. It gave Solace time to win everyone over without even trying, especially Deb. Every time Solace offered to take a fussy baby off her hands, she thanked heaven for him, then whispered to me that she’d take him if I ever decided I didn’t want him anymore.
“That’ll never happen,” I said. She hid her grin behind the lip of her wine glass.
Sorrow and anger were the leading emotions expressed once we’d told everyone the truth. Mostly anger. Some of it directed at Stacey—who wasn’t there to defend herself or to feel their wrath. I was surprised, though, to see some of that anger directed at me.
“Why didn’t you tell me what was going on?” Leland asked, that ache from earlier still present.
“I don’t know,” I said honestly. “I…can’t remember.” Why hadn’t I told my best friend about the problems Stacey and I were having? Or about the affair long before the accident occurred? Maybe Solace had the answer to those questions. We’d been so caught up this last month in renewing our love and filling in my past, that I hadn’t thought to ask.
Leland wanted to be upset with me, wanted to be upset with the man he knew prior to the event that had cost me so much. I watched that battle play out on his expression until neither of us could take the tension any longer.
“Wait,” he said when I stood to leave the table. “I’ll go and cool off. You stay.” He stormed from the dining room. Franklin smiled at me encouragingly before following him.
The rest of us took the party onto the patio, where heated lamps kept us warm from the cool spring breeze. The boys eventually grew bored of listening to adults do small talk, and Solace offered to take them to the play area that had been set up for them in the living room. Deb thanked everything holy for him again.
