Page 52 of The Caretaker
“Cut the crap,” I bit out, short of patience. “Youknowwho I am.”
He observed me, as if weighing his options, before replying with unmistakable fondness in his tone. “I guess some things never change. You still have a low tolerance for bullshit. A low tolerance for anything that isn’t Solace, I should say.”
The sickness in my stomach returned, rising higher and higher. I swallowed past it, locking eyes with Pauly, letting himknow I wasn’t in the mood to be strung along or spoon-fed information.
“Yeah, I know you. Met you a little less than a year ago when you showed up in town with Solace. You helped him get things started again with the new house. He initially introduced you as the property manager—or was it construction overseer?” He shrugged as if the distinction didn’t matter. “Anyway, within five minutes of being around you two, I knew that was a lie. Or that it wasn’t the whole truth.”
“When we were in here last, you’d said you were just trying to help. What did you mean by that?”
“We had a thing going, you and me. I’d harmlessly flirt with Solace, and you’d threaten to kill me if I so much as laid a finger on him. Almost nailed me in the eye with a dart once.” He flicked his wrist, brushing it off as nothing. “Don’t look so appalled. It was a typical night for us. I thought getting you riled up earlier might jog your memory.”
I rubbed at my temple, my knee bouncing as I fought to not lose my shit while he asked the curly-haired waitress, Becca he’d called her, to have Maggie swing by for Neil.
“You really don’t remember any of it, do you?” he asked after handing Becca the phone.
“No. Why would I lie about something like that?”
Pauly considered me, my bad temper rolling off his back. “Maybe you’re not lying. That doesn’t mean you’re not afraid to remember.”
“Why wouldn’t I want to remember my life?” All I’d wanted to do since waking up in that hospital was remember every facet of my life, especially the time period Pauly spoke of now. I’d come to Haley Cove hoping to remember.
He tossed the towel he held over his shoulder and braced his palms on the bar, lowering his voice. “Look, Solace never told me whether you were single or not. He never told me more than Ineeded to know about you two. Hell, maybe he didn’t even know. I knewhewas married, though. I attended his wedding. He’d sworn he’d be divorcing the douchebag the second he returned from that”—he fluttered a hand in the air as if in search of the right words—“that ‘save the children mission’ he was on. He said they hadn’t been happy together in a long time. Said that Patrick had done something pretty terrible, and I believed him. All I cared about was that my oldest friend was happy, and Solace seemed downright euphoric with you.” He straightened, assessing me.
“But maybe your situation was different from his. Maybe you were involved with someone at the time, and maybe that person was good to you, didn’t deserve being cheated on. Maybe you don’t want to remember that you may have hurt someone for completely selfish reasons. Or maybe this loss of memory thing is purely medical and has nothing to do with what you want or don’t want. Like I said, I don’t know your story. I knew you were in an accident that wiped a good deal of your memories. Solace was pretty tight-lipped about the rest.”
“Itispurely medical. I suffered a brain injury and had to be placed in an induced coma so that my split skull could heal. And I’m married.Wasmarried,” I corrected. “My wife didn’t survive the crash.” The wedding bands I wore around my neck now felt like an anchor of guilt instead of the buoy of hope they once were.
“I hadn’t even suspected that I’d had an affair until a few hours ago,” I said, unsure if that was true. “Hadn’t received confirmation of it until now.” That statement rang truer than my previous one.
“Okay, then. But why are you here talking to me? Why aren’t you talking to Solace? Pretty sure he’d clear all this up for you real quick.”
I opened my mouth to shoot him a defensive reply, but then stopped myself. Had I come here for answers to the more important questions—answers Pauly likely wouldn’t have—because I was afraid of what I would learn about myself if I’d asked Solace directly?WasI afraid to learn about what I’d potentially done to my wife? Mypregnantwife? And that I’d done it for no good reason?
He’d said that Solace was married, which I’d known. Had I participated in wrecking their marriage? A marriage that would’ve already been fragile due to the loss of their child. Had I lost my wife and child to the universe’s laws of karma?
“All I know,” Pauly said, slicing into my spiraling thoughts, “is that he loved the fuck out of you, and you loved him. There were months after your accident where he couldn’t even get out of bed. Days when he couldn’t get up off the floor. And now you’re back, and his world is right again.Oralmostright. Memory loss or not, I won’t sit around and watch you put him on the floor again.” He balled up the bar towel before pitching it somewhere out of sight. “Go talk to him. Figure this shit out.” He stalked off.
“Why didn’t he come looking for me?” I called at his back. “Why didn’t he find me and tell me the truth?”
“You’d have to ask your BFF about that.”
“What?” I asked, mouth going dry, heart punching at my sternum.
“Solace showed up to the hospital. More than once. I don’t know the particulars, but I know your best friend put a stop to him seeing you.”
“My…my best friend?”
“Yeah. Some guy named Leland.” And with that he strode off.
I made for the parking lot on autopilot, shutting myself inside the cabin of my truck. Cranking the engine, I dropped the gear shift into reverse before shoving it into park again. “Fuck!”I barked, banging the back of my head against the headrest, the ache that hadn’t fully subsided protesting.
Connecting my phone to the car’s Bluetooth system, I dialed Leland. It was late, but this conversation couldn’t be put off. He answered on the first ring.
“Noon?” he whispered, sounding worried. Shuffling could be heard in the background, then a door closing. “Are you okay?” He spoke a bit louder now.
“I’m fine. Did I wake you?”
“No. Franklin’s asleep. I hadn’t drifted off yet. Was up thinking about you, actually.” The concern, though no longer urgent, was still palpable in his tone.
