Page 50 of The Caretaker
“I know.” He moved on to my other foot. “And we’ll deal with it. Together.”
I sighed, closing my eyes and resting my head on the back of the tub. Noon worked his way up my calves, letting me have my silence for a while.
“Come here,” he said. I cracked an eye open to make sure the tub hadn’t grown in size while I’d been immersed in my thoughts.
“We barely fit in here together as it is. My legs are literally mashed between yours. No way can we both fit at the same end.” He hitched his legs over the edges of the tub, sloshing water onto the floor and putting out one of the candles in the process. “You look ridiculous,” I said, even while shuffling to lean back against his chest.
“Want to share what’s on your mind?” he asked, kissing the side of my face as his fingers explored my shoulders and collarbone.
“You’re so handsy,” I complained, not-so-secretly loving it.
“You’re starting to sound like Leland. He’ll love you.”
I tilted my head to one side, a subtle request for his lips to find their way to my neck. They did so as I worked out where to start. “Do you ever wonder what she sees in him?” It was a difficult question to voice because the same could be asked of me. This was different, though. I’d heard Patrick and Stacey together.Seenthem together. The Patrick from the museum wasn’t the same version of the man I knew, and part of me couldn’t help but to be angry at that. I felt cheated, not good enough to have received that side of him. I felt all that even while being grateful to be free of him.Almostfree of him.
“All the time,” Noon said with a sigh. “Stacey and I had our problems, but I can honestly say she’s never set out to dismantle my belief in myself. Not like Patrick did to you. An affair is one thing. And affair withhimis another.”
“Sometimes people can be different with other people,” I argued. “They can change. Notforthem, butbecauseof them. That’s what makes me so angry, because when I saw them together… He was different, Noon. Changed, almost. Or maybe he was himself in a way that he never was with me. Why couldn’the be that way for me? What does she have that I don’t, to make him love her in a way that he never loved me?”
I craned my head to look at him, hoping he wasn’t upset by my questions, hoping he didn’t think I still wanted to be with my husband. There was still this need to work out why he’d treated me the way he did, and it had nothing to do with wanting him. Not anymore. I saw understanding in Noon’s emerald eyes as he caressed my cheek. I saw the same need in him. A need to fully heal. A need to hear ourselves speak and release these toxic thoughts. To, hopefully, once and for all, be rid of them.
“He hasn’t changed,” Noon said. “And what you saw…” He turned away, his jaw tensing, as if he’d imagined what I’d seen. “What you saw wasn’t either of them being themselves. They were two people high as a kite on the thrill of excitement. High on sex and secrets and betrayal. Being with each other was easy. They didn’t have to fight through the messiness of life together. They got to leave their baggage with us and live like there’s no tomorrow with each other. What do you think is gonna happen now that their secret is out? Now that the thrill is gone? Now that they’re stuck together day in and day out in some third-world country?”
“I think now they’re getting to really know each other,” I whispered with understanding.
“Exactly,” Noon said.
“And what about us?” I asked, turning and getting on my knees to face him. It was a tight squeeze, but I managed. “Are we high right now? Will we come crashing back to earth when they return?”
“No,” he said, his tone adamant. He slid his wet palm around my throat, rubbing at the handprint there. “We’re different.”
“How do you know?” I dug my nails into his forearm, needing something to hold on to, something to keep me from sinking.
“Because this hasn’t been fun and games for us, Solace. We’ve been to war together. We’ve been in the trenches, fighting alongside each other, looking out for each other, being the strong one in moments where the other is weak. We get closer each day, and I have no doubt that you’ll be there for me when times get hard, because it can’t get much harder than this, and you haven’t wavered. Not once, beautiful. Not once. You want to know what you have that she doesn’t?”
“Yes,” I said, voice wavering in spite of what he’d said about me in that regard.
“You have honor, Solace. You are honorable.”
“And so are you,” I said, vision blurring. “And so are you.”
Noon stood abruptly, catching me before I fell backward and lifting me into his arms. Bath water rippled, swashing out of the tub, dowsing more candles as the music continued to play. Our bodies were slippery, and we left a trail of water in our wake as he carried me to the dining room—the only room we hadn’t made love in yet.
He spread me over the table, bringing me to climax with his mouth, neglecting himself until he’d touched and licked me in enough places to make me hard again. Noon kept it simple, spreading himself over me as his cock sought out my center, then tenderly moved in and out of me until he’d sent us both careening over the edge. Our hands and eyes remained locked on each other the whole time, and other than moans, and whimpers, and labored breathing, neither of us uttered a word.
“Let’s not wait, beautiful,” he said afterward. “Let’s not wait for them to get back, for conversations of divorce, or to get over what they did to us. Let’s start our new life now.”
I understood what he meant. We had to get out of this house. We’d been punishing ourselves by being here, and now that we were done cleansing it of our pain, it was time to move on. Stacey and Patrick were on the other side of the world doing exactlythat. Whether they would last or not didn’t matter. They’d moved on from us.
Some may have said that this thing between Noon and I happened too soon and under the wrong circumstances. I didn’t care. I’d spent enough time being emotionally abused for loving the wrong person. Noon helped me realize that I was worthy of agoodperson, worthy of someone who could look past their own pain to care about mine, no matter how difficult.
Noon was it for me, and if he was willing to let his heart guide him, then so would I.
“Where’s a place that we can go that’ll be just for us?” he asked, kissing the corner of my mouth. “A place that won’t have any reminders of them?”
I shut my eyes, thinking long and hard, when suddenly the perfect place popped into my mind. I peered toward the hall that would lead me to Gavin’s room, and my stomach ached.
Noon turned my face back to his and whispered, “We can take Gavin with us.”
