Page 76 of The Boy Who Loved Wicked
I placed him in the middle of the bed, catching him when he veered to the side. “Have you been drinking straight from the bottle again?” I joked, and he squealed, hands slapping his knees. Settling his horseshoe-shaped pillow around him, I gathered my notebooks, eyeing the time. I had one hour to make my midnight deadline. “Any chance you’ll sit there quietly and allow me to work?” I asked, and he pulled a face. “Didn’t think so. Okay, how about I read aloud what I’ve written so far? Would you like that? A philosophical bedtime story?” He drooled around his garbled words, and I couldn’t help but to kiss into the folds of his neck. “I love you, baby Caleb.”
I read as I transcribed what I had written onto a Word document. I finished and hit send. “Yes! With minutes to spare.” I set the laptop aside, planning to have a party of two in celebration, but my wingman was knocked out, sleeping at an angle that would’ve left me with a stiff neck come morning.
Sebastian relaxed in the doorway with his hands in his pocket.
“You’re awake.”
“I may have been up for a while now,” he said mysteriously.
“I made my deadline.”
“I love seeing you with him.”
“I love being with him,” I said. We observed Caleb as he slept, it was one of our favorite pastimes. “Do you think he sent you to me?”
“The baby?” he asked.
“No, my father. Had he not died…” Had my father been alive, he would’ve still held his position at the university. Sebastian would’ve never received the job offer that brought him to town, which in turn enabled him to accept the teaching job at the high school. He wouldn’t have fallen for his student. So much would be different, but my dad would also be alive.
“I’d like to believe he was responsible for bringing us together. That it doesn’t need to be an if-he-hadn’t-died-we-wouldn’t-have-met situation. But rather because he did, he ensured that I found you. Someone that will love and cherish you as much as he did.Always.” He kneeled on the bed, and I strained my neck to accept his kiss. “Let me put this guy to bed. He’ll manipulate you into bringing him back if you do it.”
“Hey, I’m a sucker for sad eyes and dimpled chins,” I said distractedly, stroking Caleb’s hair.
Bash tilted his head. “What’s wrong?”
“I want him to be mine too. I mean, I couldn’t love him more, and you and Emily do a great job of allowing me to help raise him. But…” I wasn’t sure what I was asking for, or even what in reality could be given to me to put my fear of losing Caleb at ease. It was as if my father’s name was now synonymous with loss. In this case it was more of a claim that I was looking for, not a promise of forever lasting life. “Forget it.”
His eyes lit mischievously. “Wait here. I’ll be back.”
Moments later a low voice filtered through the room. Bash was talking to Caleb in the nursery. I raised the volume on the handheld receiver. Caleb must have woken up after being placed in his crib, as always. Unlike me, Sebastian couldn’t be bribed by pouty lips and fluttering lashes. He often joked that I took the fun out of parenting for him, because he had to balance out my propensity for spoiling Caleb. Bash would be his firm hand in an unsteady sea. His protector. And I would be the familiar, comforting face he sought out in a crowd.
“Phoenix wants to be your daddy too. Would you like that, Caleb?”
Caleb’s agreement came through the static loud and clear, and Sebastian laughed at his enthusiasm. Bash had no clue I could hear him.
“I love you, Caleb,” he whispered, and I could imagine him in the rocking chair, running a hand through Caleb’s hair, soothing him back to sleep. “You and Phoenix are my world. The miracles I didn’t believe in. The signs I hadn’t known to look for.”
“And you’re the same for us,” I said, after confirming the transmission from my end was switched off. Caleb issued a sleepy murmur, falling victim to his father’s deep voice, and his affectionate nature that could lull anyone into slumber. Sebastian’s touch was warm and all-encompassing like the first kiss of the morning sun working its way up from your toes. And once felt, you never wanted to be out in the cold again.
“Phoenix.” Sebastian’s voice came through the monitor louder and sharper, as if he’d brought it to his mouth, and I nearly dropped the receiver.
I switched on the function that would enable him to hear me. “Yeah,” I answered guiltily at having been busted for eavesdropping.
“Go into my study and look out the window. Then come to me.”
Perplexed, I got off the bed and did as instructed.
Sebastian had converted an upstairs bedroom into his office so he could be near Caleb. It faced the backyard. Several inches of snow coated the lawn and surrounding trees. Lit torches placed along the yard’s grand perimeter highlighted the words spelled out in red rose petals.Will you marry me?
I backed up until my legs hit his desk, and then I went to the window again to make sure I wasn’t dreaming. “Oh my God.” I couldn’t tear myself away. I could’ve been glued there a second or ten hours, time didn’t make sense to me then. Sebastian’s voice over the monitor I still held in my hand jarred me back into my body.
“How long do you plan to keep me in suspense, Mr. Michaelson?” His voice radiated a nervous tension.
I ran out of the study, down the second floor hallway and around the bend, screeching to a stop in front of the open nursery door. Sebastian sat cross-legged in a circle of golden candles. Caleb bounced safely within his arms, his pacifier falling from his mouth as he craned his neck in my direction.
Coldplay’s“Fix You”played in the background.
I entered the circle through the open path left for me. The symbolism of that wasn’t lost. It was warm and welcoming inside Sebastian’s circle. Filled with love and belonging.
