Page 25 of The Boy Who Loved Wicked
“Our relationship had its cycles. Phases where it was her turn to care, to try and fix what had been broken and glued together so many times. Or her turn to check out while my guilt encouraged me to make an effort. Years when faking it came easy to the both of us at the same time. Months where we couldn’t stand the sight of each other.” I took his hand in mine. “At the root of the matter, neither of us were ever delusional. We may have swum in and out of denial, but only ever in the shallow end.”
“Why did she stay?”
“Her reasons are as complicated as mine. Rebellion against her father and whatever coming to his heel had cost her.” I shrugged. “I don’t want to speak for her, and I wasn’t the only one who had secrets. There’s many things I don’t know and never cared to ask. Time moves by so fast, Phoenix. She was in law school, and then climbing the corporate ladder. I was working toward my master’s and then doctorate degree. There were more than enough obstacles to assist with much of our avoidance. Remaining in a half-marriage for this length of time is not only possible, it’s common.” Marriage was such a nuanced thing.
“If you’re divorcing her, and it isn’t my fault, then why would this be wrong?”
“Us being together is not a simple matter. We can’t afford to forget that you’re my student. Losing my teaching certification is one thing, but I could go to jail for this.”
“But I’m eighteen. I’m old enough to consent to this.”
“I’m in a position of authority over you. As long as I’m your teacher you can’t give consent in the eyes of the law.” The ramifications of being with him could cost us both a great deal. And for all I knew this would turn out to be a pitstop on Phoenix’s journey to further adulthood. A phase. I didn’t know how he’d feel about me in a year’s time. Hell, in a month’s time. I was risking a lot for what could turn out to be a simple crush for him.
He shuffled closer. My legs spread wider to accommodate him. Phoenix had little to no experience, and I’d have to take my time with him. It’d have been a lie to say I didn’t fear repeating past mistakes by coveting him. Already I felt possessive. “I’m not an easy man to love, Phoenix.”
“I don’t want easy,” he said with a puffed chest.
“Hmph. You’re so brave when it matters,” I said, and his gaze dropped to his fingers. A better man would’ve ended this before it began. Might’ve leaned on the possibility that Phoenix only thought he wanted me because I gave him something he’d lost when his father died. But I was prepared to take his innocence and anything else he would allow, and worry about the ramifications later. We could give what the other needed, and I didn’t want to think about the potential for destruction.
With all the fortitude he could muster, his lashes touched his cheek, and he leaned in to press his lips to mine. A sudden clap of thunder jolted him into my arms. I rubbed up and down his spine to calm him, and then took the lead, dipping my tongue in just enough to sample the tip of his taste buds, then retreating. Our eyes were open, mine watching for what he liked, and his wide with shock. “Breathe, Phoenix.” Two pecks this time, no entry. A lick across his seam. A soft nibble to his bottom lip before sucking in the top one. I urged his head to slant, then dove in full force, swiping my tongue across his like a sword across an enemy’s throat, and when he made no move to answer my call for war, I tapped it again urging him to reciprocate. We dueled, and then I pulled back, allowing his sucker-punched breaths to warm my face as I touched his brow, his cheeks, and the corners of his mouth. I asked for reentry into his mouth, sucking at him, pecking him and calling for his surrender. His arms fell to his sides, crescent moon scars burnt my forearms. “We go at your pace, Phoenix.”
“I want more,” he slurred, and I grew concerned that the taste of scotch on my tongue might have intoxicated him.
“Not tonight,” I said, and he pouted stubbornly. I shook through my silent laugh, relaxing onto the couch and pulling him with me until he lay on top of my chest. “Are you okay like this?” I kissed the top of his head, and he hummed. “Do you need to go home?”
“No,” he yawned.
My hand paused its exploration of him. “Won’t your mother worry?”
“If only she cared,” he said before drifting off. My arms tightened around him.
Chapter 9
Phoenix
“Love is an intermediate state between possession and deprivation.”
~Plato
Islipped in from the garage the following morning. My ears and shoulders met when the door shut too loudly behind me. While I was pretty positive staying out overnight wasn’t an issue, I didn’t want to test that theory now. I typically parked in the garage, being the first one to arrive home and the last to leave in the mornings. Mom parked half in the driveway, half on the lawn. It wasn’t unrealistic to think she hadn’t noticed I didn’t come home, and her car was, surprisingly, still here.
Closing my bedroom door softly, I rested my forehead against it, letting out a long breath.
“Where the hell have you been?”
I jumped out of my skin and wheeled around. “Damn it, Danny.” I massaged my frantically beating heart while heading to close the window he stood next to with his arms crossed, obviously having climbed in. “Aren’t you too old to be scaling trees?” I moved around the room collecting my books to pack my bag. I changed the subject hoping he wouldn’t notice. “Are we taking your car today?”
“Dude, you’ve been dodging me for a week. I snuck in here early hoping to pin you down before you vanished on me—again,and imagine my surprise when you were missing, but your bookbag was still here.”
“I hung out with a friend last night. Lost track of time and fell asleep.”
“Okay, hold on a second.” With his palms held out, he came to stand in front of me. “Let’s unpack what you said there. The boy that goesnowhere,suddenly wentsomewhere, andstayedthere overnight? And what friend? Theory and I are all you’ve got, bud.” He gave a sad-but-true expression with a shrug, and if my lips weren’t drying from fear, I would’ve pulled a Theory and slugged him.
I sucked at lying, and what this little fiasco taught me was that I needed to create a backup life outside of Danny and Theory. Something to give me credible reasons for being away from their prying eyes. Again, the sucking at lying part might be a problem. A knock at the door saved me. “Come in!”
My mom stuck her head in. Already dressed in scrubs and her stern ponytail. “Hey, boys.” She focused on me. “Pheeny, I thought maybe you and I could have dinner later. Catch up?”
Okay, maybe I wasn’t saved. “I can’t, Mom. I’ve got plans.”
