Page 57 of Surviving the Merge
We weren’t pretty when we were together in this way. Damon would argue that I was always pretty; for him that was the allure. But I felt ugly and tainted and dangerous when we came together. Even after wecametogether. Especially after.
“Harder,” I rasped past the burning pain. “Damon... please. I need it harder.” His hand met the part of me under my right butt cheek one last time, and then my world was tilted as he flipped me over and dove into me again. My legs were forced into akimbo, knees close to my ears. “Yes... yes... More,” I begged. “It’s so fucking good, baby.”
I pumped my hips up to meet him as best I could. My prick couldn’t even get hard by then. But I needed more anyway. He released the cuffs without missing a beat, and I immediately ran my hands through the mix of our body fluids that painted my chest. I felt so dirty, but not dirty enough. I sucked on my fingers, and our mingled taste made me wild. I started swallowing his cock with my ass like a savage. Bringing him down to me by his hair, I bit into his neck, and that got him fucking me off the mattress.
“You do this to me,” he said. “Turn me into a fucking beast. You make me... want to consume... you whole. Fuck! Squeeze my dick again, you whore. Yeah... Like that. I’m gonna suck your hole dry after this.” Damon was a filthy lover.
My head now hanging off one side of the bed, his words propelled me to a new level of horny. I raked my blunt nails down his back and over his plump ass. I used my hold on his firm flesh to assist in the battering he was doing to my insides. “I love your... fat cock,” I groaned.
“No one can fuck you like I can,” he grunted harshly into my ear.
“No one,” I confirmed.
Damon withdrew without warning and tugged me to a standing position on the bed, then cuffed my hands once more to the metal ring in the center of the canopy. He had to catch me by the waist because my legs were shaking. Placing the backs of my knees in his elbow-pit, he resettled in me, so deep it knocked the wind out of me when he bottomed out. “Again,” I whined hoarsely.
Damon backed all the way out, and his cockhead caught on my rim as he pistoned through me to the hilt. “Again!” I screamed. “Again, again, again, again…” I chanted, but he slowed down instead, and I looked at him in confusion. Even more so when he wrapped my legs around his waist, so he could reach above me to take the cuffs off. “Damon, what are you doing?” With my hands free, I grabbed his hair and kissed him recklessly while fucking myself on his cock. He grabbed the metal rail to prevent us from toppling over the bed.
Damon turned from my kiss and held my hips in place. “We’ve got to stop. This should have ended hours ago. I’m going to hurt you. I probably already have.” Taking in my face, he said, “Jesus, look at you.” He lowered us down to the bed.
I could feel my swollen, split lip from where I bit into it. My tongue ached, and my eyes were so puffy, I could barely open them. My cheeks burned?I wasn’t sure what caused that.
“Damn you, Damon. Keep fucking me, now, or I swear to God, I’ll…”
“You’ll what? And think before you fucking speak,” he warned.
I yelled, irritating my already abused vocal chords, and yanked at my matted hair. And I cried. Not the silent tears of earlier, but a full-blown sob, ripped from the depths of me. I sensed the moment that Damon's body began to soften above me. A shift in progress.
“No,” I wailed. “Don’t you dare. I can’t deal with him right now. Please, Damon, don’t do it. Stay, all right? Stay.” I was inconsolable.
“I can’t take care of you like you need me to. I don’t know how. I’ll... learn... but I don’t know how yet.” Hard for him to say that. His turmoil evident in the trembling, iron-clad hold he had on my hair.
I pulled at him, grabbed at his hair, and literally tried to climb into his body while repeating, “It’s okay. It’s okay. Please, just don’t stop. Make me forget, okay? For as long as you can.”
I vaguely heard him say that he’d hurt me enough in between my incoherent begging.
Nothing he said got through to me. I was losing my mind while finding my insanity.
“Motherfucker!” His words shook the walls surrounding us. He seized me by the throat and applied pressure. I squirmed underneath him and tugged at his fingers and forearms, but he only looked me in the eyes with determination. As I began to lose consciousness, he roared with impotent rage for all that he lacked. My last thought before I let the darkness take me was...I did this to him.
* * *
I noticeda few things right away when I woke up the next morning: I lay on fresh sheets, my body had been cleaned and treated with balm, and the bedside table held a glass of water with two pills next to it.Son of a bitch.I jumped out of bed, forgetting the state my body was in. I had to grab hold of the bedpost and grit my teeth until the pain that throbbed all over dulled to a more manageable level. I swallowed the pills and gulped down the water. Wincing at the burn in my throat. Then I made my way downstairs in search of whichever one of them was there.
Damon stood naked and arrogant, staring out the back doors and into Max’s yard. “How dare you!” I shook with fury. “It’s not enough to have him betray me, but you have to backstab me as well. You?”
“Shut up and sit down,” he snapped, turning my way.
My self-righteousness cooled a fraction, but it still ran hot. “You don’t get to talk?”
“Now, Justin.”
That gave me pause. Damonnevercalled me Justin. Coming further into the living room, I took a seat on the sofa. I groaned as my sore ass made contact.
“You needed care last night, so I did what needed to be done. You will not hold that over me.”
He remained far away from me, and even angry, I was smart enough to know that his distance should worry me. “YourfriendMax rang the bell last night. Apparently, he heard your exuberance near the end. All the way from his bedroom. He thought you needed help, thought he would be your hero.”
Shame warmed my face, and I subtly shifted my head, allowing my hair to hide the worst of it. I was in a tough spot. I wanted to know what Damon said to him and how Max took it. But voicing that would make it seem like I cared in a way that I shouldn’t. Really, I merely needed to know that Max was okay. It would be my fault if he wasn’t. “What did you tell him?”
