Page 31 of Surviving the Merge
“I don’t understand. We are close. Is it the move?”
I supposed that played a part. Codependency wasn’t something you shook overnight. Although it seemed Blake didn’t struggle with this problem. Feeling alone in this aspect didn’t help. “Why are youpretendingto be okay with this? The move,” I clarified.
That brought him up short. “I am okay with it. I want to support—”
“Then why did you whisper goodbye to me when you thought you were alone last night?” I wanted answers.
He ran a hand down his chin, carefully choosing his words. “I won’t lie. A part of me knows I’m losing you, but your needs come before—”
I cut him off with a frustrated sound. What did he mean by losing me? I’d already said I wasn’t leaving him. To be fair, the plans I’d discussed with Julie were unknown to him. Maybe I was the one with the problem. Too needy lately. Short on time, for now, I let it go. “Can you teach me how to not be awkward?”
He gave a surprised chuckle. “What?”
I filled him in on the apartment I fell in love with and about Sam and our plans for the night. “I can’t wait for you to meet her. You’ll love her. If I don’t scare her off with my inability to be fun.”
“You’re plenty fun, Justin. People fall in love with you within minutes of talking to you. How many invites have you turned down?”
“Too many to count,” I admitted.
“See?” He looked pleased to make his point. “You exude goodness untapped, and anyone who’s lucky enough to spend a minute around you would want to hoard that.” He pulled my bottom lip from between my teeth. “Be yourself.”
“Thank you.”
Blake joined me in the shower, promising he wouldn’t be a distraction. “What are your plans for tonight?” I asked. “While I’m out screaming and throwing my underwear at the sexy guy band.”
“Guy band?” He laughed so hard I feared he might slip and break his neck. “First of all, just because they are not boys doesn’t mean you can call them a ‘guy band.’ And second, have you seen TheCovers? I’m not concerned.” He shook his head indulgently and washed off.
“All right, all right, laugh it up.”
Blake fell on his ass, and I may or may not have played a part in it. Feeling guilty, I offered my hand and got yanked down for my trouble. Needless to say, we ended up making out like teenagers on the wet tiled floor.
We dressed in separate rooms. My style, when not in a leotard or thong, veered toward casual. Skinny jeans, a t-shirt, and sneakers with my hair piled high atop my head. For the special occasion, I added a gray-and-brown plaid waistcoat on top of my fitted white tee and swapped my high-tops for a pair of brown hard-bottom wingtip boots that Blake got me last Christmas. Rushing down the stairs, my focus on securing my watch, I almost fumbled the last step when I looked up and saw Blake standing by the window.
“What’s wrong?” he asked, quickly striding my way.
“What are you wearing? Blake?”
He relaxed when he figured out my issue. “Yeah, it’s me.” He peered down at himself. “I decided to go casual tonight.” Ash had invited him to a basketball game.
“Okay…” I trailed off. Blake was a suit-and-tie type of man. He wore suits to the grocery store. All he owned were suits. He might lose the jacket, and sometimes the tie, if the situation called for casual, but that was as far as it went. Right now, though, he wore all black designer high-top sneakers, figure-hugging beige cargo pants, and a black t-shirt that would rip down the middle if he so much as flexed a muscle. A military-style Nixon watch completed the ensemble. I’d seen informal wear onthatbody before, but not onthatman. Not in a while at least.
“Blake, what’s going on? Where did you get those clothes?”
“I bought them.”
“But youhatewearing sneakers, unless you're working out.”
“That’s not entirely true,” he said. “I used to wear whatever Damon wore, or have you forgotten? We didn’t have separate wardrobes.”
“But after he left, and you had the power to decide, you got rid of all his stuff and bought suits.”
“I was trying to get rid ofhim, Justin. Anything that reminded me or you of him. But if I’m saying that I’m committed to rebuilding our relationship, then I have to take steps that demonstrate I mean it. Since it seems like he might be around here more often, I purchased him a few things. Not a lot. He’ll want to choose for himself. It’s an olive branch. Plus, Ash told me to leave my ‘stick up ass’ vibe at home. His words exactly.” Blake shrugged.
“Ash always tells you that,” I deadpanned.
“This time, I’m listening. What do you think?” he asked, with his arms held away from his sides.
I took in his normally curly hair, slicked back with product, and his typical five o’clock shadow looking more like seven o’clock. “You look hot,” I said. That pleased him. His dimples made an appearance. I held a hand out and stepped back when he tried to make his way to me.
