Page 104 of Surviving the Merge
He grew serious. “I come to you in worship, for you are all that is holy. And although you surrender, it is I who kneels before you. You are my sustenance and my church. Within the walls of your body is where I find my faith. No one can turn me against you or take me from you because my loyalty will always be to you. There’s nothing else for me in a world without you, but while we are both part of this world, you are mine. If there is a life to be lived after this one, you will still be mine. I’ll sacrifice all for you, and I will never let anyone come between me and mine. This, I pledge to you.” His smile started off timid and shy, then turned smug. Yeah, he finessed the shit out of that.
I kissed him with patience; it stretched and deepened as the minutes ticked by. Too soon the tension built as the tenderness became too much for him. Breaking away, I told him, “Do what feels natural to you in the moment. At any given moment. It willallfeel good to me.”
The crease between his brows smoothed. With a finger under my chin, he raised my gaze to his. “I love you, Just.”
I hadn’t heard that name in so long, and Damon had never before told me he loved me. Not in those words. I nearly wept. “I love you, Damon.”
26
Alot happened after Sam woke up. After two weeks in the hospital, she was sent home with an intensive physical therapy protocol. Her limp was barely noticeable now, and with time, the doctors said it would go away completely.
Since I had a couple weeks off before the fall session began, Damon and I spent that time at the condo in Kisla. We spent time doing normal things like running together, going to the movies, dinner dates, and cozy nights at home. We continued our sessions with Julie, even having dinner at her house one night. Finally meeting Phillip. He and Damon spent hours talking in Phillip’s study while Julie and I chatted amongst ourselves. I had to physically drag him out of there as the night grew old.
There were moments when I feared that I’d lost some parts of Damon that I wanted to keep. Until one evening when Max called wanting me to meet him at a pub in Portman—a town between Kisla and Chadwick—to see The Covers. Sam had converted him. I’d told Damon our plans, and his response was, “Okay.”
I followed it up with, “I’m going to Max’s for the night afterwards. It’s been a while since we hung out. We could make a night of it. Get caught up, you know?”
Damon fisted the front of my shirt, lowering his head to mine. “Don’t poke the bear, Justin.”
My heart did a happy dance. Damon hadn’t strayed too far from the surface.
Things between us had improved in other areas as well. Our communication strengthened, and he no longer struggled with guilt regarding the pace of his progress in any given area. The painting of Benji moved back to the foyer wall. I would hear Damon talking to him at times. Apologizing mostly, and, with every apology, he released some of the blame he carried.
We still hadn’t mastered lovemaking, but we’d get there. We were having fun trying.
I decided to open a dance academy in Chadwick. Although it would no longer beinthe community center, it would be a part of it. We were building on the lot next to it. All the kids from the center would be allowed. The plan was to also have non-center members enrolled, ages two through adulthood. I was excited for the future.
I officially resigned from The OBH. Holding on to it as a crutch, something that I could fall back on if I didn’t succeed out in the world, wasn’t fair to me or Michael—who received my Ballet Master title permanently upon my withdrawal.
So, here we were, a few days before Thanksgiving, and we’d just arrived at the center for the unveiling of the library that Damon’s donation made possible. Sam conversed in a corner with Pete. I found it puzzling that she was so clueless about his feelings toward her. He’d told me that he was going to marry her one day. I pointed out their six-year age difference, but it mattered none to him.
“Can I please have everyone’s attention?”
The crowd quieted and turned to Max. Everyone made it to the big event: the center volunteers, teachers from the high school, the principal, the kids, and community members. Even the chancellor came down.
“I want to start off by saying this wouldn’t be possible without the kindness and generosity of this man right here.” Max gestured toward Damon, and Damon handled the spotlight with his usual stoicism.
“I’m not only talking about his checkbook. He cares. I see it, and so does everyone else in this room.” Looking directly at Damon, he said, “You give of your time, and not just to make sure that I’m not hitting on Justin.” The crowd laughed. Damon, not so much.
“I see you talking to the kids, playing with the little ones, giving all of them a piece of yourself. You livestream your production meetings here, so the kids that are interested in technology and... whatever else you do can see what it’s like in that world. You’re working with Samuel to create an application for one of his wacky but brilliant ideas.” More laughs, and this time Damon did too. “We see you, and we hope that you’re proud and approve of what we did here.”
The curtain dropped, and gasps could be heard all around. We faced two oversized, oak wood doors that had a dozen carvings of a laughing boy with curly hair. The real showstopper was the sign hanging above the library doors that read “Benjamin’s Branch.” Damon touched the carvings reverently and then opened the tall double doors. After a brief hesitation in the doorway, he took my hand, and we walked in.
By far the biggest library I’d ever seen, outside of an actual public library. A portion of the ceiling had been taken down, and a large winding staircase sat in the center of the room. Wide enough that five people could walk it side by side comfortably. The built-in bookshelves along the walls went all the way up to the second level and were stacked with books. Cubbyholes and nooks and crannies were stuffed to the brim with them too.
A bright, red sign shaped like an arrow hung from the part of the ceiling still in place. It read “Benjamin’s corner, that way.” I peered in that direction. Oversized floor pillows and colorful bean bag chairs were scattered in front of a fireplace. Kids could grab a book, hang out in a more relaxed way, and read.
Another sign, this time a blue arrow. It read, “Benjamin’s wizards and wanderers, this way.” We went that way.Harry Potter,TheLord of The Rings,The Chronicles of Narnia, and similar themes dominated the section. The long wooden table in the center was a carved replica of Harry’s Firebolt racing broom. Max chiseled and varnished the cast of animals from Narnia into wooden chairs that surrounded the table.
A sign read, “Benji’s explorers, back there.” Books about space, planets, travel, and all the greats like Neal Armstrong, Amelia Earhart, The Tuskegee Airmen, and more littered the area. Telescopes and a model of the solar system were displayed.
We passed through the science and medical section on our way to the stairs. I briefly took in the medical journals, lab coats, microscopes, beakers, and Bunsen burners.
We all followed Damon upstairs. The whole floor was dedicated to technology. There were a few glass-enclosed rooms along the perimeter, where class instruction and hands-on training would take place. Lessons about robotics, gaming creation, computer building and programming, and so much more. I followed Damon’s line of sight, to the hanging sign that said, “Damon’s World.”
People went off to check the place out for themselves, especially the kids, who could be heard oohing and ahhing.
Max raised an eyebrow at Damon, silently asking,Well, are you proud? Do you approve?
