Page 76 of Surviving the Merge
“You’re right. Sorry.”
“Don’t be.” Watching me, he said, “We love you.”
* * *
Although it hadn’t beenthatlong since I’d last set foot in Elite, a lot had happened since. I no longer took pleasure in being there.I’m getting too old for this shit.
After the DJ introduced me, I hit the stage. I normally didn’t wear my hair down when I performed because it got in the way, but Damon loved my hair untamed, so tonight, I made an exception.
The angle of the spotlight hindered my view of the audience, so I focused on the dance instead. My body would let me know when he arrived. It always did.
In only a few short minutes, sweat trickled down my body, and my hair stuck to my face and shoulders. In need of some relief, I climbed to the top of the pole and free-fell headfirst, just to have my hair off me. As I touched down, a rolling sensation flared in my belly, my quarry had entered the building. I didn’t bother to look for him. I finished up the song and went straight to my room.
He was right on my heels when the door slammed, locking us in. This felt eerily familiar, I couldn’t believe it had come to going backwards for us.
“The ink isn’t even dry on the papers, yet, and this is what you do?” he yelled.
Damon liked to hover over me; he enjoyed seeing me on edge. And what better way than to use his size against me?
“Don’t be deliberately obtuse, Damon. I’m here to draw you out, and you know it.”
He paced the room; I took several steps back and allowed him the time he needed to get his thoughts together. I wouldn’t push him.
He tightened and released his fists as he made his circuit. Drawing attention to his bulging arms, his rounded shoulders, and wide chest. A tidal wave of tension rippled through his body. His tight black t-shirt did little to hide it.
It was wrong to be turned on in that moment, and it would be pretty hard to hide wearing only a flesh-colored thong; I did my best to cool the boil that began to percolate through my veins.
“You make a decision to move out without my knowledge—without my approval. Then you went to Chadwick and started a whole new life, with new friends and newadmirers.
“You ask for a divorce, and now we are divorced. All these changes, and I have no say in them whatsoever.”
He hadn’t stopped to look at me. Hard to tell if he was even talking to me or simply working out the facts—his version of the facts—aloud. Listening to him speak enabled me to see how things appeared from his limited perspective.How do I get him to see that I’m still here? That I’m not going anywhere.
Finally, he came to a halt at the other end of the room, as if he didn’t trust himself to come any closer to me. With his hands held out at his sides, he asked, “Why, Just? Why would you do this?”
A sensible question. But a sensible person Damon did not make. Pure unfiltered rage rolled off him in waves. It burned through his eyes like lava. I didn’t trust “sensible” Damon. Especially not when his eye twitched.
“Damon, you have to agree that you are not the most logical person to talk to—”
“I allowed you to keep the apartment, did I not? You said it was important, so I let you, correct?”
What an arrogant asshole. But I knew when to pick my battles, and I could almost see the steam coming out of his ears. It concerned me more than the twitch. I gritted my teeth and squeezed out, “Correct.”
“That wasn’t enough for you—”
“Damon—”
“You’ve left me!” he wailed. Spittle flew, his nostrils flared, and the vein in his neck swelled under the strain.
I had to beat back the urge to cover my ears from the intensity of it. The sound ferocious and crude and contained an ancient quality that one could call a battle-cry. His scream was filled with equal parts pain and fury.
His flesh turned red hot, flushed with fever, and he heaved with panic. It left me cold and trembling.How do I stop this?I implored myself.What is this?
“I’m stillhere,Damon. I’m not leaving.” I held a hand to my heart, begging him to believe me.
“Everyone leaves me. No one stays,” Damon said, his voice vacant and hollow. He walked the perimeter of the room again, head down and breathless. I was no longer there.
I rested my head against the wall, shutting my eyes for the briefest of moments. I inhaled a sharp breath and flinched when I heard a loud bang. Damon had punched a hole through the wall.
