Page 55 of Surviving the Break
“Would you two get in here? You’ll catch a cold standing out there.”
Mom.
We parted, both failing miserably at looking tough and put-together.
The inside looked the same as I remembered it. All dark wood with traces of love everywhere. Black-and-white family photos filled every surface. I jerked away when my eyes landed on a picture taken in a hospital delivery room over a year ago.How can they bear to see it?My dad walked over to the mantel and placed the frame face down.
Mom busied herself in the kitchen, cleaning the already spotless countertops. An uncomfortable strain filled the air.
“Were you guys going somewhere?” I pointed to the packed suitcases at the bottom of the stairs.
Dad rubbed at the back of his neck. “...We were coming to see you. Our flight leaves in the morning.” He gave a hollow laugh. “Here, let me take your coat.”
“You look good, Dad.”
In his mid-fifties, he still had a thick coat of salt-and-pepper hair and a body full of stock. He wore his uniform: lumberjack shirt and work boots. I took another peek into the kitchen. Mom was now scrubbing the clean off the stove.
“What’s your plans? Are you staying here or at the farm with Ry?”
“I’ll spend a couple nights with you and Mom, then head to the farm. I expect to be here for about a week or two…” Or however long it took to gain closure.
He scooped my bag off the floor. “Well, let me go get the guest room set up for ya.” His gaze stopped on Mom with concern before he disappeared upstairs.
I took a seat at the breakfast nook in the kitchen. “So. The house still looks the same.”
With her back to me, she answered, “Yeah, well, some things never change.” She walked to the sink and dropped the sponge in, leaning against it with her head hanging down.
I went to her, wrapping my arms around her from behind and resting my chin on her head. “Mom. Forgive me.”
Her body shook through her silent tears. “I am soangrywith you, Maximilian Holden Montgomery. So, so, angry.” She turned in my arms. “We weren’t the ones that hurt you.”
“I know, Mom. I’m sorry.” It was all I could say. What I did to them was inexcusable.
“You brushed us off. We don’t know what’s going on in your life. We don’t know if you'reokay.”She swiped roughly at her eyes. “He was our grandbaby. We lostourbaby—ouronlybaby,” she waved a hand at me, “andour grandbaby. I get that you were hurt, sweetie. I do. But we lost something too.”
“Tell me how to fix it, Momma,” I pleaded.
“Don’t do this to us again. You’re all we got, Max.” She hugged me, balling the back of my shirt into her fist.
I stroked her hair while she cried in my arms. “Never again. I’m so sorry I hurt you.” My dad sat watching us from the steps, misty-eyed.
22
ASH
Delivering five babies in one night was easier than saying goodbye to Max at the airport. I’d stayed until he’d gone through security, and then until his form faded into the crowd. And then I stayed a little longer—in case he changed his mind at the gate. I didn’t leave until his flight took off.
He insisted he needed to do this alone; he even left Pluto behind to keep me company.
I agreed to stay at his house so Pluto had a yard to run around in. “Good boy.” I picked up the wet tennis ball that Pluto dropped at my feet and threw it back out into the yard on autopilot. He barked, running off to fetch it. I had a sense he was trying to keep me busy, instead of the other way around.
My fingers grew numb from the cold and were beginning to turn blue. I cupped my hands in front of my mouth and blew, trying to warm them. I whistled for Pluto and opened the sliding door. On my heels, he came barreling in. “You must be hungry by now,” I said, rubbing him down. He barked an affirmative and licked my face.
Pluto looked at the bowl I set in front of him and then cocked his head up at me. “I’m not hungry now. You go ahead and eat.”
He whimpered but tucked in.
Throwing myself into a chair at the kitchen table, I began to sift through my feelings about Max going to Kentucky. Which ones were rational and justified and which were based on fear.
