Page 40 of Surviving the Break
“From months of going without.” He sat on the bed putting on his shoes. “I haven’t had sex since I met you.”
“Not once?” I asked. Ash shook his head no. “And before that?”
“A lot,” he answered. “Alwaysprotected. And I’m kidding about that being the reason, of course.”
His mention of protection reminded me that we’d gone without. We’d sent each other our test results, but the fact that I’d agreed to go bareback with him, and so soon, suddenly confirmed for me that already, he’d begun to consume me. I hardly thought of anything outside of him. We were moving too fast. Deep breaths.Don’t panic, Max.
It wasn’t the actual unprotected sex that had me eyeing the clock, counting down the seconds until we went our separate ways for the day. It was my unprotected heart clawing at my chest. So caught up and out of my mind when he touched me that nothing else registered. We’d skipped the baby steps and took off sprinting. There was no going back where sex was concerned. The idea of not having his cum dripping from every part of me and mine not filling every crevice of him brought on a wave of rebellion.
With a shaking hand, I slipped the button through the loop on my jeans and said, “We should go.” I went to walk past him, heading for the bedroom door. He stood, blocking my way.
“I know what you’re doing, Max—”
“I’m not doing anything—”
“Don’t—”
“Ash—”
“Don’t. Run.”
16
ASH
Ishowed up to Damon and Justin’s condo in the city without calling out my arrival. I was in a rather jovial mood, considering I hadn’t heard from Max since we parted ways that morning. I’d be a fool to not expect some wavering on his part, but we’d made progress. I decided to hold on to that and not grow alarmed. Yet.
On silent feet, I strode past the staircase to the gym down the hall. Damon stood facing away from me, running a hand towel over his recently shorn hair. “You cut your fucking hair?”
“Shit!” He spun around. “You scared the crap out of me, Ash. Make some noise next time.”
“That’s no fun.” I pointed to his head. “What the hell?”
“Justin hates it too.”
“I don’t hate it. It makes you look more menacing— in a good way.”
He scowled.
“Dangerously rugged,” I said with a serious face. His frown told me I wasn’t helping. “What made you do it?”
He’d mentioned coming to Kisla this morning when I’d accompanied Max to fetch Pluto from Justin. Never mentioned a midlife crisis, though.
“Trying something new. It’ll grow back.”
“I bet Justin’s upset because he has nothing to hold on to when he rides your cock. The horny bastard.” And because I liked poking the bear, I dug a finger into his exposed side, tickling him. Yes, Damon was ticklish. A secret he would kill to keep. I dusted off that hidden gem every now and again to torment him; it kept him humble.
“Stop it, will you!” He shoved me away, and I laughed at his put-out expression. “What are you doing here, anyway? You never come out to Kisla.”
“I had an early day today, so I went to see Sam. I convinced the hospital to sanction some of her pieces for the obstetrics wing.”
“Did you run into Justin?”
“I left him there.”
“What’s on your mind?” he asked.
“Nothing—”
