Page 40 of The Christmas Invitation
‘Well, Clara said Henry is really looking forward to showing you a proper family Christmas with all the festive trappings, because apparently you’ve never experienced one.’ He looked at me sceptically, one dark eyebrow raised.
It just showed how little he’d ever really known about me, though I suppose that cut both ways, for until I’d arrived here I hadn’t known anything about his background either.
‘We don’t celebrate Christmas, as such, at home, so originally I did find the idea sort of interesting, but not any more.’
That was a straight lie, because I was becoming ever more fascinated by the whole thing.
‘Running away? Could your conscience possibly be bothering you more than you admit?’
‘Why should it?’ I said coldly. ‘I was only guilty of an act of kindness, after all.’
‘That’s one way of putting it,’ he said drily.
I stared levelly at him. ‘It’s theonlyway of putting it, whatever your mad friend, Al, accused me of later.’
He looked taken aback. ‘What do you mean? Did Al talk to you about that night? When was this?’
‘Remember a couple of weeks after Lisa …’ I petered out, because there was no tactful way of saying ‘died’. I started again. ‘Remember when you came back into college to collect some of your stuff and you cut me dead in the corridor? At the time, I thought you were either too grief-stricken to notice me,or embarrassed because you’d got drunk that night in the wine bar and told me a lot of very personal things.’
He pushed the dark curls out of his eyes and said, ‘I did remember some of it … but I’d hoped I wouldn’t run into you that day.’
‘Al came and found me after you’d gone. I don’t know what on earth you’d told him and why, but he laid into me as if I’d dragged you back to my flat and taken advantage of you in a weak moment.’
Then I rememberedmyweak moment again … or rather,ourshared weak moment, and felt myself blush. Then the heat receded and iciness set in, because clearly he shared Al’s version of what had happened. I could see it in his eyes.
‘I’ve felt so much guilt since Lisa died, but I’ve been trying to put it behind me and move on, and then you come along and stir it all up again.’
‘Well, I’ve said I’m sorry about that, but it was unintentional and soon I’ll be gone. Feel free to carry on using me as a scapegoat for anything you did in the past, if it makes you feel better.’
He frowned down at me for a minute, as if trying to puzzle my attitude out.
‘I don’t understand you … but now youarehere, you might as well stay until you’ve done the job. And I’m very fond of Clara and Henry, so I’ll even put up with you over Christmas, if I have to.’
‘Gee, thanks,’ I said sarcastically. ‘I’d so love to be the ghost at the feast.’
He shrugged. ‘Please yourself. I usually stay at the Red House from the day of the Solstice – around the twenty-first – to the New Year, but if the weather isn’t bad I can escape down to the pottery on some excuse occasionally. Al and Tara will be there for most of it. You do know Al is my business partner?’
‘Yes, that really put the cherry on the cake. And Clara told me Tara is Lisa’s younger sister, so there’s whipped cream, too.’
He gave me another of his haunted, slightly smouldering looks. He’d have given Heathcliff a run for his money any day. ‘We’ve all come to terms with Lisa’s loss – Tara’s parents, too. We’ve … settled into acceptance.’
That sounded comfortable. Pity I’d arrived on the scene and ripped the wound apart again.
‘We all work together at Terrapotter. Tara’s a silversmith and has a small studio there, but she helps out with the pottery and the paperwork, too.’
He looked down at me again. ‘Please yourself whether you stay or go, as long as you don’t disappoint Clara and Henry. I really don’t care either way, now.’
I was starting to feel angry all over again. I hadn’t done anything wrong and I didn’t deserve this contempt. He might be eaten up with guilt about the past, but my imagined role in it had only been one small part.
Would he actually believe me if I forced him to listen to the truth about that night? I thought perhaps I’d better make the attempt, whether he did or not.
‘Lex, it’s time you heard what really happened …’ I began resolutely, but I was too late: he’d already turned and was striding off.
‘Uncle Lex! Uncle Lex!’ Teddy was flying down the row of trees, pink-cheeked and excited. ‘Did you and Meg get lost? Come on, we’ve found the perfect tree and it’shuge!’
15
First Flower
