Page 54 of The Christmas Invitation
He ignored that. ‘And if we could get Henry to give me a brief interview for the magazine as well, it would hugely boost our subscriptions.’
‘What, into triple figures?’
‘Ha, ha,’ he laughed coldly. ‘You’ve never really appreciated the importance ofStrimp!in showcasing rising young poets, have you?’
‘It mostly seems to showcase you and Nigel, and you’re both the wrong side of forty.’
Risen and then sunk, like a pair of sad sponge cakes.
‘I’m not forty!’ he declared indignantly. ‘We’re the same age, Meg.’
‘Rollo, you’re a good four years older than me. Don’t forget I met you in my second year of my Fine Art degree and you’d already finished your MA in creative writing by then.’
He didn’t dignify this with a reply, but instead tried the honeyed voice again. ‘Pleeease, Meggie, try and persuade Henry to see me.’
I held the phone away for a moment and stared at it as if it had verbally assaulted me. Then I put it back to my ear and snapped, ‘No! And nobodyevercalls me Meggie.’
‘You’re being very selfish and unreasonable about all this. I’m surprised at you and deeply hurt.’
‘Me?I’mbeing selfish and unreasonable?’
‘Look, darling, I’ll be up in York in a few days, taking part in a big poetry-reading event, so I can easily drive over to see you after that, on my way back.’
‘You can easily get stuffed, Rollo! And Starstone Edge is a remote moorland village, so no one’s going to believe you were just passing by, unless you’re wearing a drover’s coat and driving a flock of sheep.’
‘I’m sure they’d believe I’d detour just to see you, Meg. I’ll take you out for lunch and then, when we go back, they’re bound to invite me in and then I can—’
‘I think you’ve missed your true métier and should be writing fairy stories instead of poetry, Rollo,’ I interrupted. ‘I’m here on a professional engagement, not to be your Trojan Horse.’
‘Mare,’ he said. Or maybe that was ‘meh’, as in an expression of disgust at my lack of cooperation.
‘Well, Rollo, fascinating as it’s been chasing our tails round in a small conversational circle, I’ll have to go.’
‘But, Meg, I really would like—’
‘It’s more than time you grasped that I don’t care what you would really like any more, Rollo. That all ended six years ago, remember? I should have insisted on a clean break then.’
‘I suppose you still blame me for the accident and losing the baby and now you’ve found the perfect way to pay me back,’ he said, with a vicious spitefulness I hadn’t thought him capable of.
‘If you think that, then you never really knew me at all. I always blamed myself more than you. I shouldn’t have told you the news while you were driving, though I didn’t expect it to be such a shock you’d go right off the road. And I saw the horror on your face and realized later in hospital that you’d onlythoughtyou wanted to settle down and start a family, but when it came to the reality, you’d run a mile. Right back to Mummy, in fact.’
He began to bluster, but I cut him short. ‘There’s no point in going over it all again, or looking back – and there’s certainly no place for you in my future. I’d already decided when I left London that we needed to make a clean break and I didn’t want to see or hear from you again. So this it: the parting of the ways. Have a good Christmas with Mummy, Rollo. In fact, have a good life. Only don’t bother telling me about it.’
I switched off the phone while it was still making bleating noises. I felt a sense of catharsis and of having cut something toxic out of my life, but my hands were trembling slightly. I’d known all his faults: vanity, selfishness, infidelity, yet I’d thought he’d been as fond of me as he could be of anyone. Now, though, I could see he was just like one of those wonderfully beautiful (if slightly overblown) parasitic orchids. I hoped I’d snipped his aerial roots and he’d wither off out of my life.
It was only then that I realized the door was wide open. It must have been off the latch and Lass had nudged her way in, because she was sitting looking pointedly at the drawer where the biscuits had come from.
‘No luck, Lass – they’re all gone,’ I told her. She sighed heavily and followed me out of the room, but turned off towards the likelier pickings of the kitchen, rather than to Clara’s study.
Clara was leaning back in her chair, long legs crossed and eyes shut in deep thought, tossing the stone paperweight from one hand to the other, but she opened her eyes when she heard me close the door.
‘Was that you shouting a few moments ago, dear?’
‘I suppose it must have been, though I hadn’t realized I was doing it. I rang Rollo, to tell him exactly what I thought about his attempt to use me to get to Henry.’
‘I expect you feel a lot better for it. There’s nothing like clearing the air.’
‘You’re right, I do! And I hope he’s finally got the message that I never want to hear from him again.’
