Page 4 of A Good Heart is Hard to Find
But now that golf (once merely his face-saving excuse for frequent weekends away) had become more of a passion than I was, I was wondering if perhaps he could get by quite nicely with that and Rosemary.
Was I extraneous? Suddenly surplus to requirements?
Vague daydreams of the ‘poor Rosemary hasn’t got long to go, and then we can marry and have a family’ kind had sustained me over theyears, but suddenly here we were, a good twenty years down the line, and every cheery sundial was saying:The Time Is Later Than You Think.
But strangely enough, all this sudden angst seemed to be doing wonders for my writing.
Was this another example of good coming out of bad?
Whenever Orla had a big problem she wrote down the reasons for and against doing whatever it was she was worryingabout, so I settled down to compile a list of the pros and cons of being Max’s mistress:
For:
1) Lots of time to write in.
2) Independence.
3) Don’t have to wash his dirty underwear.
4) Do not have to look wonderful all the time.
5) Max is tall, handsome, clever, charismatic, and distinguished. (And sexy.)
6) My brothers are all still in contact with me.
7) Have my friends for company whenhe isn’t there.
Against:
1) Guilt, because of his invalid wife, Rosemary.
2) Loneliness.
3) Max not interested in horror writing.
4) He’s never there in an emergency.
5) When he is there, he expects me to look great and be in the mood for lurve, like I’ve got an On and Off switch.
6) I now play second fiddle to his new love, golf.
7) Max resents my sneaking out of bed in the middle of the nightto write and visit graveyards.
8) Max adamant about not having children until we can marry, which looks like being never.
9) Having committed to the relationship with Max, have to remain faithful due to inbuilt Puritan streak. (But haven’t been terribly tempted by anyone else for years, anyway.)
10) Max spooked by my mind-reading skills, even though I’ve promised never to do it to him … again.(And all I read was exasperated affection, lust and guilt, which figured.)
11) Ma hasn’t spoken to me since, and Pa only rings me up to curse me.
12) My sister, Jane, is always phoning me up or dropping in uninvited.
13) Max jealous of my longstanding strong friendships with Orla Murphy and Jason Shaw (and his wife, Tanya, until she took off a couple of years ago.)
Conclusion:
Clearly, the gameis not worth the candle!
