Page 13 of A Good Heart is Hard to Find
Though come to think of it, there always were undercurrents, like Tanya and Jason’s arguing over her flirting withother men, especially Jack Craig, the lodgekeeper at the Hall. And as I said, Jason and Orla had this long-running, seeminglylighthearted flirtation going, that hit a blip after Tanya vanished. Orla’s ex, Mike, tried flirting with me soon after I moved to Westery, Ithink, but I didn’t seem to pick up the signals very well: perhaps they were on the wrong frequency. Or perhaps I was permanently on the wrong frequency?
I’d always been the odd one out: I didn’t date, I didn’t flirt, and I didn’t have a social life.
And maybe I didn’t even have a lover any more?
Proudly read myTimesreview out to Max when he next called, only to find he was quite shocked by it.
‘My God – how dare they! Darling, are you terribly upset?’
‘Upset? Are you mad? I’m absolutely delighted! ATimesreview could boost my sales no end.’
‘Yes, a good review, but this is so—’
‘Max, it’sThe Times.And they do say that bad publicityis better than no publicity.’
‘Not this bad, surely?’
‘Oh, it’s not much worse than I’ve had before, and I think it will make lots of people go and look for the book from sheer curiosity, don’t you? My agent says they ought to quote it on the next cover.’
‘He was joking.’
‘No, he wasn’t. And my publishers were pleased, too, even though I might become a sort of minority cult, so they’d haveto give me bigger advances. Then I could stop doing Crypt-ograms whenever some unexpected bill comes in. The Batmobile is making clunky sounds on corners again, and I think the alternator’s getting dodgy.’
‘Aren’t cult writers usuallyliterary?’
‘No, of course not, you highbrow snob. And there’s nothing wrong with my writing anyway.’
‘It’s not your style, it’s the content, Cassy. If you didn’twrite about things ordinary people don’t even admit tothinkingabout, you’d probably be a respected author by now.’
‘What, like Jane? And starve to death? No thanks.’
‘Her work is certainly respected and she doesn’t seem to have starved.’
‘No, but only because she’s been supported by Gerald since she left university. Besides, I wouldn’t call someone who’s had two slim volumes of pared-downpoetry published a real writer, even if she has got every literary grant going on the strength of them.’
‘Her haiku are generally considered to be brilliant.’
‘Yeah, she must have solddozensof copies ofRed Sun, Falling Leaves.’
‘Is that a bit of sour grapes?’
‘Come on, Max – if there’s any jealousy it’s the other way round. I’ve always known my gift lay in curdling the blood and makingthe hair stand on end, not writing twisty little sushi gobbets.’
‘How are you, anyway?’ he asked, abruptly abandoning the subject as a lost cause. ‘Missing me? Still got that no-hoper from the antique shop sniffing after you?’
‘Jason isn’t sniffing after me, he’s a friend,’ I said shortly and quite untruthfully. He wasn’t quite a no-hoper either, considering he was the only man currently onthe horizon who actually fancied me, and who knew where desperation would lead me?
‘How is Rosemary?’ I enquired politely on that thought: I mean, just pretend I cared.
‘Fine. California suits her. I haven’t seen her this lively and cheerful for years, and Kyra’s been working with her to build her upper body strength. It’s really lovely here – you’d like it, Cassy.’
…the power of his voicepoured over her like warm honey, and she felt herself grow weak with desire…
‘I expect I would,’ I agreed. California, sunny California, sounded very enticing, with everything warm, and green and fertile. Even me, perhaps, were I to go there?
‘Max,’ I said persuasively, ‘if I did a couple more Crypt-ograms and ignored the Batmobile repairs, I could afford to fly out for a holiday somewherenear you and we could—’
‘No,’ he interrupted firmly. ‘You know we agreed that it wouldn’t be practical to try and see each other while I’m here. Besides, it would hardly be worth it for a couple of weeks, would it?’
