Page 84 of A Good Heart is Hard to Find
‘Subplot?’ I stared at her.
‘Yes. What could that be, I wonder?’ she asked innocently. ‘Maybe something like: whoever buys you can father your offspring?’
‘Don’t be silly,’ I said primly. ‘I hope neitherof them will waste their money when they’ve read the list of things I’m offering, because sex is definitely not on it.’
‘Oh, I think they’re both expecting considerably more than a little light dusting,’ she said dryly. ‘Especially since Dante’s under the impression that you’ve ended your affair with Max.’
‘I was going to – I just haven’t quite got round to it yet. And I’m sure you’re wrongabout Jason and Dante,’ I added doubtfully. ‘Are they friendly?’
‘Not very. Jason is angry and hurt, and Dante has gone quiet, thoughtful, and even more withdrawn. But then, he’s clearly worried about your brother and Rosetta too, isn’t he? They seem to be everywhere together, like Siamese twins.’
‘I think Rosetta’s old enough to look out for herself,’ I said. ‘And anyway, I think they’re reallyin love with each other, so it doesn’t matter what Dante says about it.’
‘It’s rather sweet of him to care, though, isn’t it? Anyway, I’ve given her lots of advice about her guests, because we’re both almost fully booked for Easter visitors. I’ve got your family coming, and Rosetta’s got three members of some ghost-hunting societyanda medium with her husband, although she says Dante made herwrite to the medium and tell her that she couldn’t hold seances on his premises. She’s called Madame Something.’
‘It sounds busy, though my parents probably won’t stay more than one night when they realize Jane’s really not here.’ I ferreted about inside my bag and then handed her a note: ‘Will you give this to them when they arrive? It explains where she is.’
‘What are you doing for Easter?I haven’t got any vampire bookings for you for about a week, and then there are two.’ She pushed a bit of paper with the dates of my next appearances on across to me. ‘I’ve got one Marilyn Monroe on Saturday.’
‘I’m going to do nothing over Easter, except avoid Ma, Pa, Dante and Jason, and wait for everyone to go away or go back to normal. But I’ve had an idea for a new costume for you, one thatI think would make Jason forget I even exist.’
She looked at me expectantly.
‘Barbarella!’
‘Whatme? I’d explode out of that outfit!’ she exclaimed.
‘All the better. I think he might just go for it. Most of his tastes are stuck in a time warp, anyway.’
Orla looked thoughtful. ‘Well, it would certainly be striking! I might give it a go. Nothing ventured … I’ll get on to that big fancy dresssuppliers in London, I bet they can come up with the goods.’
‘Sock it to him!’ I urged.
‘I’ll do my damnedest, and even if it doesn’t work on Jason it should be pretty popular as a singing telegram. Only, what would she sing?’
‘I’ll think about it, and let you know.’
‘Tomorrow!’ she said firmly. ‘You’ll have to come out then for the auction. No trying to fake illnesses from pure cowardice.’
I groaned. ‘But if I was really ill, Orla, you could phone the vicar for me?’
‘No.’
‘Call yourself a friend?’
‘Even a friend can enjoy watching you squirm tomorrow!’ she said unfeelingly. ‘May the best – or worst – man win!’
I drove back by the same circuitous route, thus avoiding passing Jason’s shop. Later I rang Charles myself and tried my excuse, but he thought I was joking. ‘Teasing again,Cass my dear? And you with a huge reserve price on you!’
I felt like the prize-winning heifer at the show.
‘I suppose you mean this telephone bidder? I think I can guess who that is!’
‘I’m sure you can, and the amount he will go up to is quite stupendous, my dear! I might just try and run it up a bit …’
‘That’s cheating,’ I said. ‘ItisMax, isn’t it?’
‘Confidential, but let’s say I was surprisedafter what you’d told me. But then, if you are at all uneasy about whoever buys your services, I will chaperone you, my dear.’
