Page 85 of Britta & the Beach Boy
I shouldn’t be upset. I can’t even pinpoint why I am. Partly because Stella is leaving. That was always the plan—for her to leave before I did. But that was when this trip to LA was a long vacation, not a complete change in my life’s trajectory.
And maybe I’m upset at Archie’s reminder that my job as Dex’s wife is to give Dex a legal path to the Olympics, then stay out of his way so he can focus on surfing. That was the deal I not only agreed to but also worked into my list of conditions.
Maybe I’m also a little afraid I’ve made a mistake buyingAnnie’sand staying in LA instead of going back to Paradise and everything—and everyone—that I know. I am fine to be here alone, but I’m also nervous about it. I hate driving in this trafficand have been able to avoid it. I don’t want to go to restaurants by myself or be alone in that big beach house. I’m used to being surrounded by people and now I won’t be. I’ve traded all that comfort in for a fake marriage and a very expensive investment that could both go completely wrong.
The closer I get to the snack stand, the more my lungs burn and the shorter my breaths get. By the time I get to the sidewalk, I’m gasping for air. I bend over to stop the world from spinning, my hands on my knees, head below my heart.
“Britta?” Dex’s voice is close, and his hand is on my back before I see him. “You alright?”
I nod, my breath already slowing at the sound of his voice and his touch, but I stay bent over and I’m humiliated that he’s seeing me lose it like this.
“You sure about that?” He rubs his hand down my back, then up again.
I take a deep breath, stand upright, and give Dex a smile that’s mostly real. “Yeah. I’m good.”
He tips his head and studies me, letting seconds pass before he says, “I’m sorry about the trip. It’s been scheduled for months. But why don’t you come with me?”
I make a sound that’s both a huff and a snort and could only be created with a lump in my throat. “I’ll be okay here by myself. I’m just… tired. And I’ll miss… uh, Stella.”
Surprise crosses Dex’s face. “Of course, you’re okay here by yourself…” He lifts a shoulder. “I just like being with you. That’s why I invited you. The Azores are gorgeous. You’d like it there and once you take over ownership of the shop, you won’t be able to travel much, if at all.”
The warmth in his honey brown eyes tempts me to say yes. California is the furthest I’ve ever been from Paradise, and I probably should take some time for myself while I still can.Traveling to another country sounds magical, especially with Dex. And I do love watching him surf, but…
“Would I have to fly?”
“Um, yes,” Dex says. “It’s in the middle of the ocean.”
“Yeah, well, that’s a deal breaker for me. I’ve sworn off air travel. And there’s this little coffee shop idea I’ve been bouncing around.” I shrug to emphasize how casual my little coffee shop is. “But I hope you have a great time.”
Dex laughs. “Come on, Britt. If you can marry a fella you hardly know—one whose only skill is totally useless outside of the ocean—why are you so afraid to fly?”
“You have lots of skills beyond surfing, but you make a good point about the flying.” I’m about to say maybe, but then something else comes out. “I can’t.”
He lowers his head and frowns, then looks back at me. “Even if I promise I’ll follow all the rules?”
Now I let out a genuine laugh. “No, Dex. I’m not worried about that. I’d love to go, but I’ve never been out of the country. I don’t have a passport.”
A slow smile spreads across his face, and his relief is palpable. “We’ve gotta fix that, then. You’ve gotta be able to travel the world at a moment’s notice if we’re going to be married.”
“I don’t remember that being one of your conditions.” My heart pounds. I’m wading into dangerous waters, but I follow the pull of the tide anyway. “But it’s not too late to amend our contract.”
“That’s possible?” Dex moves closer, and his smile is replaced by a look I haven’t seen before. Both serious and tentative. “Maybe we could make some changes to the kissing parts, too?”
Dex jokes a lot. He’s not doing that now. He wasn’t joking when he called me his wife or got in a tiff with his best friend over it. He wasn’t joking when he said he wanted me to go to the Azores with him.
And Iwantto go. So. Much. Not just because I’ve always wanted to travel, but also because I’m really going to miss him.
I’ve loved almost every moment I’ve spent with Dex, even before we got married. The only moments I haven’t loved are the ones where I’ve forced myself to keep my distance from him. The times when I could have touched him but didn’t and every time I’ve said goodnight before going to bed alone, then waking in the morning wishing Dex were there.
“Maybe.” I can barely speak.
Cautiously, Dex slips a hand around mine, then looks at me with a question.Is this okay?I don’t pull away, which is all the answer he needs to step closer while brushing his thumb across the top of my wrist.
“Maybe more than kiss, Britta?” He leans his forehead against mine and my pulse takes off faster than if I were mainlining triple espresso shots. “You’re so much more than a way to the Olympics for me. You stopped being that the second you became my wife.”
“Your wife?” I haven’t forgotten we’re married, but hearing him say I’m his wife adds so much more weight to our agreement.
He’s called me “my wife”twice today.Both times, the words have taken my breath away. I suspect they have the potential to always do that to me. Like when I crest the last mountain before dropping into Paradise Valley. Suddenly there’s the lake shining turquoise blue in the center of it all, a sapphire set in gold. I’ve driven into that breathtaking view a million times, and I could do it a million more without ever tiring of its beauty.
