Page 53 of Britta & the Beach Boy
I have to think about that. His passion for surfing is something that fascinates me about him. I really admire it.
But I don’t think I agree with him.
Sometimes you’ve got to devote your life to something because you lovesomeone. I don’t loveBritta’s, but I loved my mom—still do. I’m willing to devote my life to something because I loved her more than anything. I don’t want her to be forgotten, and I’m willing to put aside my own dreams to make sure that doesn’t happen.
I love what Dex has said, though, and I’ll return to those thoughts, but I feel my truth solidifying too. I dip another piece of sushi and line up my words to make sure I get my point across.
Chapter twenty
Dex
“Loving surfing that much doesn’t leave you a lot of time for anything else, does it?” Britta asks.
“Not much.” I shrug and drop my eyes from hers.
It’s a leading question. Is she asking if I have time for relationships? Time for her? I’m not sure. And does it matter if she’s not planning to stay in LA more than a few more weeks?
The truth is, staying competitivedoesn’tleave a lot of time for anything else. That’s why I just won the world title. I cut out everything else in my life except surfing.
But when I look at Britta, when I see her smile or hear her laugh, I feel the same rush of adrenaline I get when I ride aperfect wave. Everything falls into place and my focus is entirely on her. I don’t want to be anywhere but right here, right now.
Talking to her silences the surrounding noise in the same way the ocean does when I’m watching the horizon for a good set. There’s anticipation and excitement, but also a calmness I only get when I’m rolling up and down with the sea. A peacefulness that comes from knowing a wave will always come. If not today, then tomorrow.
And I’ve basically just told her I don’t have time for her.
I immediately want to take it back, re-explain, but I take another piece of sushi instead. Because…I don’t know what I offer or what I’m willing to give up for a relationship with anyone, even her. She’s not staying in LA. There’s no life for me in Paradise, Idaho.
The realization sits heavy, and so I push through it. I don’t want to ruin this night, which has been perfect so far. I want to keep it that way, so I’ll hold on to the fantasy of Britta and me for another few hours. Reality can wait.
“Annie’s pretty awesome, isn’t she?” I say to change the subject.
“She’s amazing.” Britta sits up, and a happy energy returns to buzz around us. “She reminds me so much of my mom.”
“Really?” I ask, picturing Annie’s round dark face and grey-black braids while also remembering the very pale-faced Scandinavian look of Britta’s entire family back in Idaho. I never met her mom, but it’s hard to imagine a resemblance. And then I realize what she means and feel my cheeks light up. She didn’t mean they looked similar.
“Annie does so much for people and everyone loves her for it. My mom was that way, too,” Britta explains. “She drew people together and helped them find purpose. I love watching Annie do that here. In a city of millions, she makes everyone feel seen. You know what I mean?”
“Yeah.” I nod. “When Archie, Frankie, Rhys, and I first came to LA to filmSurf City High,she was a surrogate mom. She learned how to make our favorite Australian desserts; did she tell you that?”
“Yeah,” Britta takes a roll from the new plate the chef puts in front of us. “By the way, sushi is delicious. I didn’t expect that, but it is.”
“Most people wouldn’t dive right in the way you have your first time.” I like that about Britta. She doesn’t shrink from a challenge.
She looks down at the empty plates surrounding her. “I’ll take that as a compliment.”
“You should.” I take a sip of water to wash down the lobster roll.
“Annie said she had a chain coffee store offer to buy her place.” Britta lays down her chopsticks and sips her Japanese beer like she hasn’t delivered a potentially devastating blow.
“She won’t sell.” I say it more to comfort myself than because I believe it.
“She may have to. Her daughter needs full-time care, and even with all the money people have donated to help her, she can’t pay for the help Keesha needs.” Britta’s eyes wander to mine. “I’ve been there. It took my whole family rotating around our different businesses, helping wherever and whenever we could, to keep them running while we took care of Mom, too.”
“Georgia’s told me a bit. I know it was rough, especially on you.” I glance at Britta, pleased to find her smiling softly at me. “Annie doesn’t have much family around, but I can’t see her ever selling to a Starbucks or another chain.” The reasonAnnie’sfeels like a piece of home isn’t just because of Annie. So many of our coffee joints in Aus hold near and dear to my heart because of the love they show their locals, and Annie shows that love to the people of LA.
Britta lays her chopsticks across her plate and stares at them. “She’d like me to buy it. She wants the new owner to keep working with the nonprofit to train unhoused people to be baristas. But there’s no way I could come up with the kind of money I’d need to buy.”
I nod along as Britta talks, wondering if she’d actually buyAnnie’sif she had the money. Would she want to move to LA permanently? I don’t reckon she would, but there’s a longing in her eyes I haven’t seen when she talks about going back to Paradise andBritta’s.And, hard as I try not to let it, Archie’s marriage idea slips into my brain.
