Page 8 of Explorer's Revenge

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WAY

When we land on the main island, we head straight for the port and load our equipment onto the seaplane. We warned them there would be a lot of stuff, and we booked the whole thing out, but it’s still a tight squeeze, especially when you are a big guy. We make it work, though, and we’ve been in tighter and weirder places when diving or climbing. Our bodies are used to us putting them to the test, and that’s what makes us feel alive.

The seaplane doesn’t take long to get to the other island, and once there, we check into a hotel for the night. Leaving first thing tomorrow is better, since we will have the full day to explore. Honestly, exploring at night is fun, but Wilder wants to make sure this is done by the book. We have to get good footage but also stay safe. Aiyaret makes most of the recordings while we explore the little town, not wanting to stay in the hotel—all of us need to stretch our legs.

The town is set in the cliffs with steep steps and ramps leading to higher sections of roads. It’s filled with incredibly beautiful white houses with the area near the harbor full of shops, restaurants, and a bar or two, but it’s more for locals than tourists. It truly is a beautiful place, and we climb to the oldcastle at the top where we take pictures and study the history before heading down to eat something.

Despite the fact that we each have a hotel room, we crash in the same one, spread across the floor, sofa, and bed. Before Venture, this was how we lived, crammed into tiny, cheap hotels, and now it’s just a comforting habit—a reminder we aren’t alone, especially for Aiy and me who struggle to sleep by ourselves. Aiy doesn’t like the dark, but for me, it’s the reminder of everything I lost when I dream. Logan, Rick, and Wild are used to sharing a room, having done so when they were kids, so there wasn’t much adjusting there, even if Wilder complains.

“You are both too big to be in this bed with me,” he mutters, his hands fisted on his hips as he glares at them, stretched out on the queen-sized bed. “One on the floor.”

“Nope,” Logan replies.

“If you want one of us on the floor, then you sleep on the floor, brother. We were here first.” Rick grins at him.

“I mean it, don’t make me drag you. I’m the oldest and in charge?—”

“I’m the oldest and in charge,” Rick mocks, making him and Logan laugh. I duck my head when Wilder starts to glare. When I first joined the team, hearing their familiar, brotherly banter used to hurt.

It hurt a lot, but now it keeps me centered. It’s a reminder of what I lost and what I gained—a family.

“Mer, he’s going to kick your ass,” Aiy deadpans, chewing on the fruit he bought, his legs kicked over the sofa he claimed.

“Nah, he can try, but he’s getting slow in his old age,” Merrick jokes.

“Old age? Old age? I’m thirty-six!” Wilder scoffs.

“Exactly. Soon, you’ll be in a retirement home.” Rick pats Wilder’s leg. “Don’t worry, brother. You’ll still have pussy and adventures in your memories.”

“That’s it!” Wilder snaps, reaching for Merrick, who rolls and ducks out of the way. They chase each other around the small space while we just watch, used to it. Aiyaret continues eating, and I move closer, stealing some fruit.

“Ten on Merrick winning,” I mutter.

“Don’t want your money anymore, Way, but I’ll take the bet for your limited edition, signed Everest poster.”

“Shit, okay, deal,” I reply as we wait to see who will win. Merrick is faster, but Wilder? Well, he’s Wilder.

By the time Wilder has Merrick pinned, I owe Aiy my poster, just like I knew I would. “Okay, now go to sleep,” Wilder orders after kicking Merrick to the floor. “Early morning tomorrow, and I need you to be rested.”

“Night,” I call as I roll to my back on my sleeping bag.

“Night,” Logan and Merrick say in unison, making them laugh as the lights go out. Without a word, Wilder heads to the bathroom and opens the door a crack, enough for Aiy to see, and the tight grip he had on the sofa edge eases.

“Thanks, brother, night,” Aiyaret whispers. Wilder just nods as he climbs back into bed.

Lying in the dark, I find my hand reaching out before I realize what I’m doing and pull it back. All these years later, I still reach for him like I did when we were kids. Sometimes in those moments between wakefulness and sleep, I actually think he’s still alive, and then I remember he’s gone and the pain and guilt crash down again. The other half of my soul is gone, like a puzzle missing one piece. That’s how I’ve always felt, and it’s obvious to everyone else I’m not a whole person.

Not without him.

Then again, I don’t think any of us are, which is why we travel the world, hoping the more we see and find, the less broken we will be. It never works because what we are searching for can’t be found anywhere but inside.

I always find it hard to fall asleep, as if my mind is trying to stop me from drifting off to that oblivion, but just like every night, I lose the battle and tumble into an exhausted, fitful dream.

“Come on, don’t be such a girl!” I call with a laugh as I reach up, having to stand on my tiptoes to grasp the bar above me. Without waiting for a response, I haul myself up onto the next ledge before I look down at him below me. “Come on, chicken!” I make chicken noises, and his expression transforms, just like I knew it would. He hesitantly takes a step forward then hoists himself up the metal bars, climbing up after me, his movements more careful and unsure.

He just needs to be pushed to do anything—to make friends, go out, speak, and even eat. He’s always been this way, and I’ve always helped him by being outgoing and dragging him with me.