Page 84 of Explorer's Revenge
“Your leg.” He jerks, and I hold his hand tighter. “I’m sorry. I know you were protecting me. I’m so fucking sorry.”
“It’s not your fault.” He pulls me closer. “Look at me, Maeve. It isn’t your fault. I made a decision in that moment, and I don’t regret it. I’d do it all over again. Yes, it sucks that I lost my leg, but we’re alive, and that’s all that matters.”
When I’m quiet, he carries on, his voice too high and fast.
“I’m a fighter, Maeve, always have been. This will be no different. I know it won’t be easy, but I never did take the easy route anyway. Don’t blame yourself, okay? I don’t.”
“You don’t need to be okay and strong for me,” I tell him.
He goes to make a joke, and I squeeze his hand. “Logan, you don’t have to be okay right now. You don’t need to make jokes or make us comfortable. You are allowed to be sad, angry, or whatever you want to be. You don’t need to pretend—not for them and not for me.”
He holds my gaze, and I see his fragile walls crumble as he tries to hold himself together. It’s a feeling I know far too well.
“Can you hold me?” he whispers, and I’m up in a minute. Ignoring Wilder’s objections, I climb into the bed, careful of his leg and side, and tug him into my arms.
I don’t say anything. There’s nothing I can say that will make this situation better. Yes, Ajax will help, and he’ll get the best treatment. He’ll walk and have a new leg, but it doesn’t change what he has lost.
His tears are silent at first, but as I hold him, he sobs louder and starts to shake.
The others are quiet as I hold Logan, and despite his assurance, my guilt will never go away.
“We are right here,” I murmur, blinking back my own tears. “We are all right here, and we aren’t going anywhere. We’ll be with you every step of the way.”
“But I can’t do this job anymore. I’ll be left behind,” he sobs.
“Never,” I vow. “We will never leave you, I promise you. We are in this together. You can’t get rid of us, so don’t even think about it. For now, you need to focus on resting, okay? Try to sleep. We are right here.”
He cries for a little while longer until he finally falls to sleep, and I meet Wilder’s heartbroken eyes. I know we have a long road ahead of us, but what I said is true.
I’m not going anywhere.
I must fall asleep at some point because I wake up to a soft voice. I feign sleep when I realize it’s my dad.
“I know how you feel. When I found out about my illness, I thought it was a death sentence. The worst part was knowing I would never be out there at her side again. Son, whatever happens, you will never lose your family, but this is not the end. It’s just another battle, another path. You’re strong—you have to be for my daughter to care for you so much. If you are even half the man she thinks you are, then you’re going to be okay. There are plenty of athletes and competitors out there with missing limbs. This isn’t the end, not like it is for me. You just have to want it badly enough.” He’s quiet for a moment. “I can’t be out there with her anymore, and it kills me, but you can be. She needs you. I knew it the moment she woke up and risked her life to come back for you. You’re her team now, the family she needs, so be strong and tackle this like everything else. You’re going to be okay, but when things get hard, you have a family to fall back on.”
“I’m scared,” Logan admits softly. “I’m scared I’ll never get to see the world again, and that I won’t be able to keep up anymore.”
“Of course you are, that’s normal, but you can’t let fear stop you. You didn’t when you saved my daughter, and you won’t now, and you will always have a home with me, understood? Anyone who is willing to risk their life for Maeve is my family. Whatever happens, you aren’t alone.”
“Aren’t you afraid?” Logan asks.
“I used to be, but want to know what truly terrifies me? It’s leaving my daughter alone in the world, but she won’t be anymore, and I owe all of you for that. I don’t know what happened on that island, and I don’t need to unless you want to tell me, but all I know is she risked her life to save you, and that tells me everything. She’s the most loyal person in this world, and she chose you. Whatever happens now, I know she’ll be okay. It’s a relief,” he replies.
“But there are five of us.” Logan tenses, no doubt trying to convey his meaning. My dad must catch on.
“Meh, my daughter has never been one to do anything the same way as others. I don’t care as long as she is happy and safe. Do you understand?”
“I do,” Logan answers. “Thank you. I’m not usually this . . . troubled. I just?—”
“It’s to be expected. I can’t begin to imagine what you are feeling, but if you let her, she’ll be right there with you through it all. Now, get some rest. I’ll watch over you, okay?”
I feel Logan slide down, and it doesn’t take long before he’s asleep. “I know you’re awake, kid.” I wince, and he chuckles softly. “You never could pull this trick on me, even when you were young. Sleep, tomorrow is a new day.” He pats my head, and I nod, moving closer to Logan.
The next journey will be just as hard as the one we took to get here.
FORTY-SIX
RICK
