Page 20 of Explorer's Revenge
“I figured it was just a freak moment and it wasn’t important,” I mutter.
“Of course it’s important. You’re doing so great with healing and moving on. I’m proud of you for not running from her.” There is pure pride in his voice, and when I glance at him, he’s grinning widely.
“Why?” I ask, my voice thick. “Why are you proud of me for doing what others can do without thinking?”
“Fuck others. I don’t care about them. I care about you. This was a big deal, so of course I’m proud of you. I want you to be happy, Aiyaret.” The way he says my name, rolling his tongue over it, sends a shiver through me that I can’t explain. “I want you to be able to live the life you want.”
“It was just a conversation,” I remind him.
“Yes, but tomorrow, it could be a meeting, and the next, it could be a hangout. The time after, who knows?” He nudges my shoulder. “I want you to be happy, brother.”
I stare at him again, wondering what he means.
He wants me to be happy . . . like, with someone?
With a woman?
As I stare at him, I start to wonder. If he or I were a girl, would this be different? I don’t know, but I look away at the strange thought.
“I want you to be happy too,” I murmur. Way has . . . flings, not relationships. He never lets anyone get too close. He gives them part of his life, not all, but not us—we get everything.
I get it all, but I’m his brother, so that’s normal.
“One day, this will all change.” I don’t realize I’m speaking out loud until his voice comes.
“What do you mean?”
“One day, Wilder will settle down, or Rick will, hell, even you or Logan. We’ll slowly splinter apart. We’ll go from living with each other and seeing each other every day to once a week, then a month . . . then on holidays. We’ll get normal jobs and have families.” Well, they will, not me. “We’ll forget all about these adventures and the way it felt when we were on them. That’s what happens, right? People calm down and move on, but I’ll still be here, waiting for all of you. Our brotherhood will change.”
“Change is the only constant in the world, Aiy, but we will never leave or forget you,” he promises, and when I glance at him, he grabs my hand tighter. “I promise. There is no breaking us apart. I will go wherever you go. If the others . . . If they do eventually settle down and start a family or whatever, you’ll still have me. I’m not going anywhere, but neither are they. Not everyone wants that type of life, Aiyaret. It might be normal for some, but not for us. We’ve never done anything the traditional way. We’ll be out in jungles and mountains until they have to force us into graves.”
“Really?”
“Really. We’ll be in hospital beds side by side, and when the time comes, we’ll go together. Nothing in this world can separate us, Aiyaret, be it time or age. We are in this for the long run,” he vows, and I know he means it. “Do you believe me?”
I nod silently, and he smiles brightly. “Brothers,” I whisper.
“Brothers,” he agrees, but why does the word feel like we are saying something else?
Dragging my eyes away, I focus on the low flames of the fire as our friends and brothers sleep around us.
His arm slides around my shoulders, and I rest my head against him. He holds me as time passes, letting me soak in his warmth.
After a while, something makes me lift my head and peer into the jungle. There’s no change in the noise or any movement, butsomething made me look, and an unknown fear courses through me for a moment.
“What is it?” Way murmurs.
“Something is watching us,” I whisper. The hair on the back of my neck rises, and an old instinct kicks in—the one that kept me alive.
“What do you mean?” he asks.
“I don’t know, but . . . I think something is watching us,” I reply quietly.
Way gazes into the jungle, picking up a flashlight and shining it in the trees before glancing at me when neither of us sees anything. “There’s nothing there. It’s just that captain getting in your head with tales of boogeymen and curses. Don’t let him spook you . . . like that time in Berlin with the ghost, or in New Zealand with the made-up creature stalking the night. There’s nothing here but ruins and history,” he assures me. “You have enough horrors in your life, Aiy, so don’t make any more up.”
I look back at the trees, the fear not going away.
History has a way of clawing at you, even from the past. I know that all too well.
