Page 73 of Worth the Wait
Alfie swallowed. Hard. Lips dry. Cracked. Body locked rigid with tension. But he said nothing.
That silence told Nathaneverything.
“Did you not learn anything?” Nathan gritted his teeth. “Living with your mother?”
“Fuck you.”
Nathan didn’t flinch. He wasn’t angry, not really. The fear ran too deep for that. It hollowed him out from the inside.
“I’m not saying it to slag her off.” He stepped closer. “I’m saying it because youknow. Yousawit, Alfie. What it did to her. What itstilldoes.”
Alfie’s jaw locked.
“You wanna act like a big man?” Nathan cocked his head. “Pushing gear into kids’ hands? Same as those bastards did to your mum? You remember what that looked like? The rot? The ruin? You wanna be part ofthat?”
Alfie didn’t move.
“You think you’re stacking paper, yeah? Every note in your pocket’s soaked in someone else’s blood. Another kid left watching their parent disappear. Another house gone quiet except for the sound ofpain.”
All Alfie did was swallow.
“That what you want, Alf?” Nathan widened his eyes. “That the man you’re becoming?”
The silence that followed felt as if something had broke. Maybe it had always been broke. Nathan’s heart thudded against his ribs, heavy with panic. He couldn't let it end there. Couldn’t lose him.
“What do you want from your life, Alf?”
Alfie looked at him, unreadable. A flicker. A shrug, perhaps. Certainly a deflection. Maybe nothing at all. It wasn’t enough.
Nathan stepped in again, closer than he should’ve, crowding the moment.
“You can’t want this? You can’t want to be one of their fucking runners. Youcan’t.” He ran a hand through his hair, helpless. “Talk to me. Please. Saysomething. You don’t have to fix it all today, but fuck, Alf, don’t shut me out. Not now.”
Still nothing.
Nathan felt the air leave him.
“I’m trying here. I know I’ve missed a lot. I know I don’t get to fix this overnight. But I’m here now, and I’m not going anywhere. So talk to me. Scream at me. Tell me to fuck off properly if you want, butdon’tsay nothing. Don’twalk away from me when I risked everything to get you out of there.”
Alfie narrowed his eyes. “You want another fucking medal for that, do ya? Just for showing up? That what you get in the army, is it? Turn up and they give you another pin to sew on your fucking camo? TheI Woz Erebadge?”
Nathan didn’t rise to it. He’d taken worse hits than this.
“No. I don’t want a medal. I want my son to stop throwing himself down the same black hole that nearly swallowed his mother.” Nathan sighed. “I know I’ve got no right to expect trust. Or respect. But I’m still your dad. And I’m not about to stand here while you tear your life to pieces just to prove I don’t matter.”
Alfie looked away, jaw clenched, nostrils flaring. He dragged a hand through his hair like he didn’t know what to do with the anger.
“It’s late.” For this conversation. Maybe for everything. “You’ve had enough for one night. And so have I.”
“Ain’t tired.”
“Does it look like I care?”
Alfie’s head snapped back to him, eyes blazing. But Nathan didn’t budge.
“Go to bed.”
Alfie didn’t move.
