Page 38 of Worth the Wait
But sometimes, on the worst days, he looked at Nathan’s dad and wondered if maybe his had done them a favour. Because at least silence didn’t bruise like disappointment did.
Still. This wasNate. This was different.
This was them. Whatever the hell this was.
And it wasn’t supposed to end like this. Not before they’d even had the chance to begin.
Nathan let out a bitter laugh. “Am I supposed to fuck off to Ibiza while she’s back here having my kid? That ain’t how it works, Freddie.”
Freddie opened his mouth, but the words caught.Why doesn’t she…He couldn’t finish it. Couldn’t ask the thing he knew was cruel, even if it had been his first thought.
Nathan heard it anyway.
“She’s having the baby,” he said, voice low but unshakable. “I’m gonna be a dad. Jesus fuck.”
Freddie pushed away from the door, started to pace, clenching and unclenching his hands, trying to keep from punching a wall. Or himself. Or Nate!
“Okay. Fine. Fuck. Okay. We can deal with this. We don’t have to go to Ibiza. We’ll stay here. Get a tent, yeah? Camp out on the beach all summer. You and me—”
“I’m joining the army.”
Those words hit harder than anything else had.
Freddie stopped cold. “You what?”
Nathan swallowed hard, then turned back to the poster on the wall. The one of Kasabian, dressed in military-style jackets from their Empire album, all brooding faces and mock heroism, staring out like rock gods halfway to war.
Freddie had put it up as a joke. A vibe. Camo with swagger. Rebellion with guitars.
Now it felt like a warning.
“I signed up back in March,” Nathan said, not looking at him. “I’ve already done the assessments. Fitness. Medical. The works. I’m on the next intake. Catterick. I ship out for basic next month.”
“Why the fuck didn’t you tell me?”
“Cause I thought I wouldn’t go. My dad told me to go for it and, honestly, I was just doing it to please him. Get him off my case about needing a plan. I figured I’d do it, then we’d…” He looked away. “Shit. I need a job, Fred. I need to give her money. The army gives me a wage, a roof, a future. Barracks. No rent. No garage. No Dad breathing down my neck reminding me how I’ve fucked up my life.”
Freddie looked at the poster again.
Empire.
It wasn’t funny anymore.
“No.” Freddie shook his head as if he could rewind the moment. Unhear it. “You can’t. That’s not…you can’t leave!”
“I have to.” Nathan’s voice cracked then. “What am I supposed to do? Uni’s out the fucking question now. So what, work my whole life in that oil-stained pit? With himwatching me fail every day? This is the only way I can do right by everyone.”
“Everyone?” Freddie spat. “What about me?”
Silence.
Nathan still couldn’t look at him.
“I…” Nathan waved vaguely at the air between them, as if whatever they were, whatever had bloomed in the space between friendship and something more, was smoke he couldn’t catch hold of. “You kissed me, Freddie. And now I don’t know what the fuck this is. You’ve always been more. But this thing? It messes with my head.”
Freddie’s chest caved in. “At least fucking look at me when you say I’m nothing.”
Nathan turned slowly.
