Page 64 of Don't Take the Girl
I know she said she wouldn't leave and that she's here for the summer, but I'm losing my strength to fight her. The walls I've built are crumbling beneath her gaze. I never wanted any of this. What I want has never wavered, and it's currently standing right before me, breathing and real, her eyes searching mine for truths I've kept locked away. She's pleading with me for trust, and God, I want to give it to her so badly.
Maybe this is the first step in giving her everything, but before I take it, I have to take one last desperate swing at keeping things as they've been. I never chose this road lightly. The decision to hold back has cost me countless sleepless nights and an endless ache in my chest from where my heart used to beat. If we take this step, there are no roads back to the people we are now. We'll either be transformed into something beautiful and unbreakable or into ruins. I'm not sure either of us will survive.
The fight in her eyes softens as the internal battle that's been raging inside of me for years registers. I may have asked her to leave, but there was an olive branch attached to it: answers.
She shoves her hands into the pockets of her lightweight jacket. "Depends. I'll consider it if you tell me something I don't already know."
"You'd really leave?" I ask, my heart stuttering at the thought.
She tilts her head to one side. "I see what you're doing. If I say yes, you're somehow validated in your choice to up and disappear, but the difference between you and me is I wouldn't leave things unsaid. I'd give Asha the truth before leaving." I press my lips together to stifle an ill-timed smile. It can't be helped. She's always been feisty. I liked it then, and I still like it now. "How is that funny? You know what, don't answer that. I don't have time for this."
"I know about the lease," I say to her retreating form.
She stops dead in her tracks, which answers another one of my lingering thoughts. Laney has her own reasons for entertaining my brother's company. I thought it was attraction, but since she knows about the lease, that feels less true. I did some more digging into my suspicions. Baylor’s request for me to ride out to Bristol Creek coupled with Trigg’s timely ride the day Laney sprained her ankle were too close to be coincidental, and now I know it’s not.
"You do?" She turns around, eyes wide. Then, closing the distance that separates us, she says, "Then you and Trigg really need to talk. He thinks you don't know, and Asha's family is going to lose their land."
"Are you really worried about the one percent losing their land? They have money, and losing that land doesn't bankrupt them. They won't go broke. They'll simply rebuild somewhere else."
"Is that really how you see it?"
"Why does how I see it matter? What's the real reason you're invested in this outcome?"
I know my response lacks the empathy she would expect, but it's not without reason. I want to know how much she knows. Is she aware of the loophole? Does she care if I marry someone else? If we take our land back and Fairfield moves, it gives her noreason to return, no more accidental run-ins, and a true end for us.
"Just forget it. I don't care what happens."
She starts to walk away this time with a determined stride, putting distance between us, and I say, "So you don't care if I marry Asha?" She stops, but she doesn't turn around, and I add, "I wouldn't."
"I'm not sure that's any better."
This time, I'm the one to walk around and stand at her front. "Isn't it, though? If I don't marry her, Trigg can. Marrying her would hurt him, and I don't want to do that."
Her conflicted eyes settle on mine, and I see sadness, but I also see relief. Talking about endings that don't include her and me fucking hurt.
"Wait, I don't understand." Her eyes drop to my jacket as she collects her thoughts. "If he wants to marry her, why wouldn't he? He said the loophole was marriage. You both have Hale blood, so why does it have to be you?"
"Remember how I told you he was a secret, and my mother put him up for adoption?"
"Yes." She nods slowly, trying to keep up.
"Well, it wasn't until he got sick and needed a kidney transplant that Baylor found out he existed. His adoptive parents knocked on his door in a last-ditch effort to find a match and save his life. Of course, Baylor stepped up, but not without his own stipulations. He wanted his son back. They agreed, but Trigg was already five years old by that time, and my grandfather had died. Since my grandfather had passed before he knew about Trigg, he wasn't recognized in the will."
"I don't understand. Why can't an addendum be made? How else do heirs get put on the deeds?"
Shit. I grind my teeth, hating how a primal part of my brain takes over when I hear her speak about heirs. "There can be…" I take a deep breath and push out the memory of the one and only time I had her in a position to make heirs.
"Okay, you're going to have to give me more, because I don't understand if there's?—"
"I need to know something," I cut her off as another thought floats to the forefront. "Why is Trigg telling you all of this? This feud has nothing to do with you. You're not a Hale or a Fairfield."
Her eyebrows rise, and I can tell she didn't like my words. "I think I'll keep that to myself for now…unless you want to trade."
"Trade?" The word hangs between us. I stroke my beard slowly, buying time as my mind races through the implications.
"Yeah," she says, one eyebrow arching sharply. "A secret for a secret." Tongue in cheek, I drop my gaze, a heaviness settling in my chest. I know precisely which secret she's fishing for—the one thing I've buried so deep that even I pretend it doesn't exist most days. "Look, if you want to talk, you know where to find me, but if there's any moving forward with us, it won't be with secrets. If you can't do that, then just let me be. I'll stay out of your way, and you stay out of mine, but I need to get back to Fairfield."
After a beat of silence, I risk meeting her gaze again. "Do you still need a ride?"
