Page 182 of Vows We Never Made
“I am not fuckingrunning,” he snaps. “Not anymore. That’s the entire point.”
“Then why are we standing in the rain?”
“Because it’s storming and I need you to go inside and you won’t.”
“How is that not—” I start, but he cuts me off, slashing one hand in front of my face.
“For the first time in my life, I’m living on my terms. Not someone else’s.” His face almost looks like it softens as he looks down at me, though it must be a trick of the light, because there’s nothing soft about him right now.
There’ll be nothing soft again.
“You won’t understand it. Not now. Not tonight. But someday, you’ll know I did this for your own good,” he says.
I want to laugh in his face—or just slap him.
My own good? He thinks any ofthisis for my own good?
It’s the weakest excuse in the book.
He might think he’s alive, but he’s acting possessed. His demons have taken over.
And he’s reaching deep, finding excuses to run away from me.
I look up at Ethan Blackthorn for what might be the last time.
Strong jaw, bold lips, a hint of dusky stubble, eyes that I know are blue even though they’re nothing but shadows.
He’s more forbidden and unreachable than ever.
Water runs down his temples in rivulets, and the longer I stare, the more his mouth presses together into a hard, bloodless line.
“This isn’t for my good. None of it,” I say softly. The storm eats my words, but I know he hears me.
“I said you wouldn’t understand,” he says. “I’m not standing here all night, trying to pound it through your head.”
What bullshit.
My heart disintegrates.
“But I’m fighting my battle my way,” he says. “And I sure as hell don’t need you in the crossfire.”
That’s it.
He doesn’t say another word as he turns and walks down the winding path to the beach, into the weakening rain.
And I don’t know if he’ll come back tonight.
I wonder if he’ll stay there until I’ve cleared out my stuff and left.
Whatever we had, it’s over as fast as the lightning.
Gone like it never existed.
My tears melt into the rain as they roll down my face.
22
ALL BY MYSELF (ETHAN)
