Page 206 of Vows We Never Made
For you, your half must be Harriet Sage. I’ve never been more certain of anything in my life, and if you just give her a fair shake, I believe you’ll see it, too.
As Hattie knows, fairy tales are made, not told.
And if you can open your heart enough to pry clear your eyes, young man, you’ll see it too. Then you’ll hold on tight and keep her.
All my love,
Gramps
Fuck,fuck, fuck!
I throw the letter down and spring back up, pacing the floor.
I am a self-propelled wreck.
If Margot was in the room, I know she’d agree with Gramps, but—
But goddammit, he’sright.
My last chance—my only chance—to unfuck my future was always Pages.
My light, my love, the one woman who slays problems with a sassy smile or pins me in place with another godawful joke.
Even when she’s just reading a book, my world glows brighter.
Hattie’s the only person who makes me feel alive since Taylor drove herself off that cliff.
Not because I ever loved Taylor, no, but because that was the last time I felt like Ideservedto look forward to tomorrow.
With Hattie, I don’t have to hide.
She knows about Taylor’s accident and she didn’t go running.
She looked at me like she knew my hurt.
Like we shared the pain andfuck, my eyes are burning.
I can’t remember the last time I cried.
Not since Taylor. Not since everything went to shit.
Even when Gramps died, I didn’t break, even if I was damn close at times. Margot was the weepy mess, and I was the one who held her like a rock, smothering my own emotions.
I can’t anymore.
Hattie burns me alive, even if Gramps is the spark.
She undid every coping mechanism, knocked down years of fortified walls, and now I’m here, cursed with knowing how bad I derailed destiny.
I pace around unevenly, my furious red-eyed reflection in the window mocking me.
Why am I still here?
I told Hattie I wanted to fight, but that’s not what I’ve been doing.
Not when I’ve been screwing off, playing hideout while my legacy and my woman go up in smoke.
That isn’tfighting.
