Page 24 of Teach Me
‘Because it was you.’
‘Hmm.’
‘It was arousing to be watched,’ I admitted, my voice small and breathy. ‘I’ve never done anything like that before.’
‘I know.’
My gaze met his. ‘Have you?’
‘With a student? No.’
The thought of him having sex with anyone else made my hands curl with a sudden, surprising fury. Stunned by my reaction, I looked away.
‘We could’ve been arrested for public indecency.’
‘Ophelia.’ His stern tone drew my gaze back to his. ‘I would never put your academic career at risk, nor my own. Trust I have full control over this experiment, as any good researcher would.’
Not knowing what else to say, I nodded.
‘But I’m not only a researcher,’ he continued. ‘You promised me honesty and obedience, yet you’ve now deflected my question twice.’
My eyes widened. Would he punish me? Did I want him to? Perhaps ignorance was the best option.
‘What do you?—?’
He rose. ‘Don’t tempt me to find a ruler. I would love to mark your arse. Why didn’t you watch the last ten videos?’
I twisted my hands in my lap. ‘They made me uncomfortable.’
‘Because…?’
‘Because…’ I sighed. ‘Because I don’t believe it was consensual. I don’t think any woman wants to be dehumanised and treated like a…’
‘A slut?’ he finished. ‘Remember what I told you when we started this experiment? You have a misconception about a healthy Dom/sub relationship. There’s clear communication. Limits. Consent for both parties. Role-playing. That’s what thevideos depicted. Not abuse. Not misogyny. Those women felt empowered to fulfil their fantasies in a safe environment, just as you can feel safe with me.’ He crouched before me again, taking my hands in his. ‘If you would rather not explore this further, you can stop the experiment now.’
I searched his eyes, seeking the truth behind his words. And I found it in abundance. ‘I don’t want to stop, but I also don’t want to feel… used.’
‘Perhaps it’s more accurate to say you don’t want to be insignificant?’
I nodded. I wanted to be more than a warm body to him, no matter how silly it sounded.
His eyes softened. ‘You’ve always been my most diligent student. Dedicated. Driven. Those are all words I can use about the standards you’ve set for yourself, but I can’t help but wonder if…’ He put his hand on my cheek. ‘If you’ve set those standards so high because you feel the need to prove your worth.’
A lump formed in my throat. I tried to swallow it and refute his assumption, but it was too late.
‘I see you, Ophelia. I see how hard you work and how much you’ve accomplished. I also see the burden it’s taking on you, and I want you to know that you don’t have to prove your worth. You’re enough.’
Damn this man. He always got inside my head. I half-glared at him from behind my tears. ‘I hate it when you psychoanalyse me.’
His smile broadened. ‘I’ve met many overachievers like you. Women who come to me with a need to shut off for a while. Some want to feel used and wanted, while others seek a safe place to retreat from reality. They want to relinquish power. They want to be called derogatory terms. They want to be punished, humiliated, brought in line. It’s cathartic.’
‘How?’ I whispered.
‘Because it’s a moment away from reality where you can be my failing student, whom I have to spank because she missed her essay deadline. In a scene, there are no gender stereotypes, social norms, or anything else limiting your sexuality. You can be my slut. You can be a virgin ravaged by five Doms. You can be a victim taken against your will. You can even be an object for the evening, a breathing piece of furniture made for someone else’s comfort.’
Frowning, I stared into the room behind him. ‘I don’t want to be an object. I want to be…’ I trailed off, not knowing what I wanted anymore.
‘To be seen?’ he offered. ‘I see you, Ophelia. You could never be insignificant to me.’
