Page 105 of Dublin Charmer
“So, is this it, then?” His voice drops, all warmth evaporating.
“I hope not. I’m still trying, hoping… but I know this isn’t working.”
“Itcouldwork, but ye don’t call, and ye told me I can’t call.” The edge in his voice is new—harder, sharper.
“Because it upsets him to know we’re still talking.”
“Babe, ye gotta stop letting Gio dictate yer entire life.”
“That’s not fair.”
“Isn’t it? When was the last time you made a decision that wasn’t about what Gio needed?”
I grip the railing. “He’s my brother. He’s all I have.”
“That’s shite, and ye know it.” Finn’s anger crackles through the phone. “My family and I are here for ye. But ye pretend we don’t exist because it’s easier than making yer brother sad. He’s a grown man. He needs to learn to stand on his own.”
“He was tortured, Finn. He lost a huge part of himself because of Gravely, but he lost even more before that. He was there when the Rossi compound was attacked. He was devastated when Papa was killed.”
“He wasn’t the only one! Yer all about whathe’sbeen through, but ye suffered the same losses. But ye don’t get to heal because yer too busy being his emotional support animal.”
The words hit like a slap. “That’s harsh.”
“What’s harsh is watching ye throw away yer life—our life—because yer brother is too selfish to see what this is doing to anyone beyond himself. Or maybe he does see it, but is too afraid of losing his place in yer life to care.”
I press my palm against my eyes, willing the tears back. “He’s not like that.”
“I really hope he’s not. I hope he spends his days tied up in knots and worried about yer well-being, the same as yer doing for him. That he puts yer needs first.”
That’s not our dynamic, but it wouldn’t do any good to mention that with him so upset. “I’m sorry you’re hurting, Finn. None of this is fair to you. Still, getting away was the right call. Gio is much better.”
“That’s fantastic. So, what’s the problem?”
“Thinking about me going back into your world is a trigger for him. Any time the subject comes up, it undoes all the progress he’s made.”
“Are you sure that’s it, or does he just want ye at his beck and call?”
“Stop it! It’s not like that. You have brothers. If one was suffering, what wouldn’t you do for him?”
“But that’s the difference, luv. None of my brothers would destroy my happiness to ensure their own. That’s not love. That’s an unhealthy attachment. He’s dependent, and at his age, that’s not healthy.”
I grip the railing in front of me and draw a deep breath. “I don’t know what to tell you.”
His voice softens. “Tell me ye’ll push for him to see a professional. Him feelin’ better is great, but a therapist will make him do the work to make sure he truly deals with things.”
“He refuses. He says he only needs me.”
“Then go yerself. Talk to someone about yer situation. Learn how to deal with his attachment.”
I lean against the wall, sliding down until I’m sitting on the cool tile. “I don’t want to talk to a stranger about things. It hurts too much to even think about it.”
“Then yer stuck, luv. Both of ye are stuck, and neither of ye will do the work to get past the pain ye’ve suffered.”
Hot tears stream down my cheeks as I try to swallow past the lump in my throat. “I’m tired, Finn… tired of being torn in two.”
“Then let me come. We’ll work it out together.”
I close my eyes, imagining Finn here, in this beautiful place. Walking the beaches with me, exploring the ancient streets. Sleeping beside me every night.
