Page 42 of Submit
I counter steer and try to straighten out, but it’s no use. The cold winter road, the slickness of black ice and blood, and the absolutely insane speed I was going at impact have me skidding out of control on the black, empty road lined with massive trees. I can’t stop, I can’t steer, and I’m careening towards a cluster of trees.
“Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!”
The first hit rockets me from one tree trunk to the next like a pinball bouncing around in its machine. I’m tossed back and forth, with the seatbelt I actually had the sense to put on before tearing out of the garage doing its best to hold me to the seat. The airbags deploy with huge puffs of hot air and powder that stings my eyes and burns my face, and all I can do is hold on tight until the car finally comes to a rocking stop, the passenger side wrapped around a tree like a pretzel.
The fact that I’m not dead is a miracle as I slump in my seat, my entire body on fire, my cheeks burning from the airbag deployment, and my legs killing me from the way they’re twisted up in the footwell, with the toes of my left foot stuck under the clutch. I’m panting and dry heaving at the same time, trying to un-ensnare myself from the seatbelt that is stuck around me and locked in position.
“Holy fucking shit.” I grunt, smacking at the deflated airbag with my hands to get it the fuck out of my face so I can kind of see what I’m doing. My vision is blurry now, not just from the tears that fell before the crash, but by the dust and debris too, and I just want to see what the hell is going on.
I feel like I’m fighting an octopus on steroids as I struggle to get unhooked and out of the mangled car. Everything is around and on me, holding me to the seat that rocks with my movement. When I finally get my foot free, I put both my feet up on the busted dash and push backwards, snapping the back of the seat off, letting me fall backwards and away from the strangulating belt.
“Whoa.” I say, going farther back than expected and whacking my head on the roof of the car. “Owww.”
The driver’s door pops open with a swift kick, and the seat falls apart as it swings outward, dumping me on my face on the cold ground, making me eat a mouthful of dirt and road debris, all while I’m cursing and spitting out the filth. To make matters worse, the cell phone is ringing again, having survived the accident and even got unstuck from the floor and landed back up on the twisted seat.
“Fucking figures.”
With an angry and pained growl I grab the stupid thing and slam my finger on the green phone icon to answer.
“What!?” I yell into the phone, making my lungs and throat hurt, forcing me to cough up more of the airbag dust. “This had better be fucking good.”
“Dude. Where the fuck are you?” Daniel’s voice comes through the phone. “The cops called, said you took off like a madman, and that your house was busted into.”
“Why the hell did they call you?”
“I’m your emergency contact you idiot. Or did you forget?”
“I just totaled the 911, killed a deer, and almost killed myself. I’m not really thinking very well right now.” I bark into the cell as I army crawl across the ground, trying to get my knees under me to rise up off the icy blacktop.
“Jesus man. Where are you? I’m on my way.” He says and I can hear his keys jingling in the background. He always spins them on his finger when he’s anxious or worried about something.
“You worried about me?”
“Fuck you. Where are you?”
“I have no idea. Somewhere in Pennsylvania. Track the LoJack on the car.”
“Alright. Hang tight. I’m coming.”
He disappears before I can say anything else, like not to come, that I just want to be alone. But I’ll need a ride back anyways, so I guess waiting with my destroyed car for him to arrive is what I’ll be doing for the very near future.
No one drives by as I sit in the countryside next to a smoking and pinging wreck of a sports car. When I finally get myself up and moving, I trudge slowly down the road to the deer to make sure it’s dead. My stupidity shouldn’t be the reason anything suffers.
Being in two pieces, I’m sure the poor thing is beyond gone, and I grab both halves one at a time, dragging them out of the road in case anyone comes by. We don’t need another wreck on top of mine. It’s a bloody mess, and the pieces are heavier than they look, like dragging a dead human, something I have done before, and will almost certainly do again once I get back to the city and find Tyler.
The silence of the surrounding area from the accident eventually changes. The crickets go back to singing their night song, and an owl hoots in the distance somewhere behind me in the tree line. More deer scamper by, eyeing me up as they cross the street before disappearing into the adjacent field.
If it weren’t for a smoking car and how badly my body hurts, it would be a beautiful night in the country, something maybe I should make an effort to do at some point.
Maybe I’ll even buy a cabin in the woods and have a place to go when I want to be left the fuck alone.
With a loud sigh, I throw myself down onto my ass on the ground, not bothering to sit like a normal person. How I land is how I’ll stay. I just don’t care anymore. I illuminate the face of my watch to check the time, but that’s busted too.
Of course it is.
With an arm over my eyes and a moan, I lay back on the ground, feeling the winter chill through my clothes, but again, I don’t care. I yawn deeply, my chest hurting with the inhale and I pass out from the pain and the exhaustion of my insides being ripped apart both physically and emotionally.
~~~
