Page 11 of Submit
The sun shining in through the window does nothing to warm my mentation as I climb out of bed, wiping the crusties from the corners of my eyes. I’m tired and grouchy as my feet hit the floor and I stand up, stretching my back out by reaching for the ceiling and bending backwards. Everything in me cracks and pops from how restless my rest actually was.
Not even the drive to work made me feel better, and by the time I reach my office with my coffee in hand, I’m just more annoyed with everything and everyone around me. I didn’t enjoy the dipping in and out of traffic, or the revving of the engine as I floored it in the open spots. I barely even registered as the valet took my keys with his customary nod, and I sure as shit didn’t notice Jerry’s warm welcome as usual. I’m bitter, and that in itself is pissing me off.
A knock on my door takes my blank stare off the ground and park below just before it opens, and Ashley pops her head in. I can see a slight shadowing around her neck from my grip less than twelve hours ago, and normally I would feel some kind of remorse for it, but not now. She wanted it as much as I did, and she enjoyed it just as well.
“You good?” She asks, her blue eyes scanning me up and down, noticing my slightly rumpled clothes since I was too irritated to get out the iron this morning and freshly press my shirt, because the dry cleaner never does a good enough job before sliding my clothes into those clear plastic bags of annoying hell.
“Fine.” I grunt, slamming my mug down on the corner of my desk, splashing a drop of the hot coffee out on my hand, burning the edge of my tattoo, making the skin red.
“You don’t look or sound fine. Did I do something wrong last night?” She asks, and I can see it in her, the fear that she somehow disappointed me.
Ever the submissive.
“No.” I sigh, licking away the drop from my hand. “Come here and lock the door.” I add, softening my demeanor, trying to push my irritation to the side.
Even though she is no longer in a scene with me, the aftercare doesn’t end when she’s in my presence, and last night I royally sucked at it.
Bad dominant. Get your shit together.
Her eyes light up and she hustles inside, latching the door securely behind her. She knows what’s coming. It’s what I should have done last night, instead of being a fucking asshole to her.
The sigh that comes from her lips gets lost in my chest as I pull her into me, pressing her cheek to me, holding her tightly. She absolutely melts into me, her small body being completely supported by mine and the hold I have on her. Absolute submission. It’s beautiful, and I only wish it was enough for me, and maybe in another life it would be, but not this one, and especially not now.
“I’m sorry.” I say quietly, kissing the top of her head. “You did nothing wrong. You were perfect. It’s a me problem.”
“Is there anything I can do?” She asks, wrapping her arms around my middle, snuggling her head harder into my chest, her eyes fluttering closed.
“No. It’s something I have to figure out on my own. But thanks. Really.”
“Your heart is beating really fast.”
“Yeah. I know.” I sigh again, petting her hair and giving her the time I know she needs with me.
It’s only a few minutes, but the embrace helps me too. I didn’t think it would, but the nonsexual, physical touch helps pull me from the darkness plaguing my head and centers me better than I could on my own.
But did you even try?
I can feel the ire leaving and my pulse coming down as she leans on me, her breathing slowing and becoming silent, her arms losing their strength in the grip on my torso. It’s enough that I need to sit down on the corner of my desk, pushing the coffee out of the way so I don’t spill any more. She comes with me, her body between my legs, and settles herself on me for another moment.
“Better?”
“Yeah, you?” I ask her, pulling her face form my chest, and wiping the little crease in her skin from my shirt.
“Yeah. Are we good?”
“Always.”
“Thank you, Sir.”
“Shhh, easy kitten. I’m not Sir to you here. Simply Adrian, your dick of a boss.” I chuckle, as I tenderly brush away a lock of hair from her eyes.
“You were kind of a dick last night too.”
“I’m sorry.”
“You’re forgiven.”
“Thank you.”
