Page 44 of A Kingdom of Fire and Fury
“Are you saying you want me to treat you like you’re less than? Do you want to be handled with kid gloves because a poor commoner can’t reach the status or strength of a noble?” His eyes darkened.
“Of course not.” Gods, he was infuriating. “But that’s not the point. You’re being intentionally obtuse.”
“And you’re being intentionally pathetic. I'm training you as hard as I am because I know you can reach our level. Coddling you keeps you weak and vulnerable. If you’re to survive, you need to be stronger. I know you can be strong, Selena, of course I do.”
Why did his words make sense? Why did the fact that he believed in me make me want to forgive all of his assholery? “You’re such a manipulative prick.”
His lips twitched in amusement. “We don’t have time to waste. Everyone here—their lives are my responsibility. I’m your captain, Selena. Whether you trust me or not, I am responsible for your life, your health, and your safety. I won’t fail you again.”
Warmth flooded my body. I wished I could say it was from the steam of the bath, but it wasn’t. As I looked at his dark eyes, at the hard set to his jaw, I knew he meant every word. And that was fucking terrifying. Because as much as he wanted to use me, I knew this assassination attempt bothered him. It wasn’t just pride—it was fear. Fear that he would fail me, fail everyone.
No wonder he pushed us so hard, and why he trained me past my limits. I exhaled. He made it so hard to hate him. If he could just… be less of a dick.
I raised my chin. “I’ll hold you to it. Kieran Caddel, my life’s in your hands.” As much as I loathed it, we needed each other.
A muscle in his jaw ticked. “Believe me, I know.”
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
I almost preferred hating Kieran. Because now that I knew he liked a commoner’s meal or that the weight of everyone’s lives pressed down on his shoulders heavily, I felt something for the jerk. Something akin to compassion. But I didn’t want to think about that.
I pushed the thoughts from my mind and went down to the dragon caves which I’d thankfully been given permission to go to while I was still under lockdown due to the investigation. Since the attack, Umara had taken to staying there, even though I knew she preferred to be out in the open.
Umara nudged my shoulder when I stopped stroking her. I smiled, but it became strained when some of her emotions slipped down the bond. Fear, guilt, and grief so thick it made me want to cry. I threw my arms around her neck. “If something happens to me, don’t do anything drastic. Unless I’ve been murdered by Luther. Then you can totally go ballistic and kill his ass.”
Umara growled. It rattled my bones, but I ignored her and clung tighter. “But seriously, don’t do anything drastic. I want you to look after Clara, first and foremost. Keep her safe. And move on. Don’t letyourself wallow, okay?”
I closed my eyes. That’s when I felt it—a cool shadow sweeping through the caves. I exhaled and pulled away. “You can go away. You’re not wanted, and Umara can keep me safe.”
A shadow brushed my throat, and I shuddered. My whole body jolted to attention in ways I didn’t want to think about. “Stop lurking in the shadows like a pervert.”
Another shadow trailed up my arm, the touch slightly mocking and yet… yet it further fanned the flames in my belly. But I wasn’t going to let him know that. I felt a heavy presence behind me and didn’t need to look to know it was Kieran. “You’re the one who likes it. Don’t think I didn’t notice that reaction.” He leaned in my ear. “Do you want me, little thief?”
My cheeks heated, but I raised my chin. “Don’t try to turn this back on me. You’re the one who’s obsessed. I was trying to get away from you.”
“I’d never allow that.”
I scowled, some of my amusement falling. “Believe me, I know.”
He moved to stand in front of me. “Don’t be like that. The guard is for your protection, Selena. Someone tried to kill you. I’d be a poor captain if I didn’t take precautions.”
Something close to warmth flowed through my veins, but I refused to acknowledge it. If only Kieran had stayed a jackass, so I wouldn’t have felt these annoying emotions. I couldn’t let myself forget I wasmerely a tool for him. “You’re not selling me on the dragonsguard. Since I’ve joined, countless people have tried to kill me.”
“To be fair, you started this. Well, Umara did, but you finished it by accepting the first flight.”
Despite the amusement lacing his tone, the words stung. “How long will I need a bodyguard? It’s a waste of our resources.” I’d feel better when whoever hired those assassins faced the execution flames.
“Soon. We’re still looking for our culprit.”
I rolled my eyes. “You all keep looking in the wrong direction. I’m telling you, it’s not Andova who sent those men.”
He considered me. “Accusing people can get you into even deeper shit. Especially if you’re pointing a finger at a noble.”
I fought to control my breath. “Just because I’m a street rat doesn’t mean my opinion isn’t valuable. If anything, I know the streets better than anyone else, especially the people’s motivations.No onewould take a job like this. Not without a lot of money. Whoever hired those men knew who to target, which meant they were watching the area. I don’t think an Andovan spy could get that much detail or know just who to contact. And I don’t think it was someone acting out just to act out. People usually don’t take on something like that unless they think they have a way out.” The attack was a suicide mission—that much was obvious.
“I’m not discounting you.” When I arched a brow, his lips twitched into the faintest hint of a smile. “You’re annoying and impulsive and let youremotions cloud your judgment. But you do have a point.”
My shoulders relaxed slightly. “Do you think Aurelia sent them?”
