Page 136 of A Kingdom of Fire and Fury
I wanted to punch something. “Even if that is true—even if you were sure I didn’t feel the same—you should have told me themomentI manifested my own mark.”
Kieran’s hands twitched. I knew he wanted to reach out to me, but he knew better. I’d strike him if he tried.A liar. A manipulator. How could I have let myself be so blinded and think I was immune to his games?“If I told you, you would have run for the hills. Everything we wanted to build would’ve been turned to ash.”
I laughed. It was that or cry, and I sure as fuck didn’t want to cry in front of him. “Because that’s what it all comes down to. Kieran the Executioner. You’llalwaysbe Luther’s little lapdog.”
“I told you from the start where my goals aligned—”
“Don’t you care that you hurt me? Not telling me is as good as manipulating me. Itoldyou not to lie to me anymore. Youpromisedwe’d work together. You—”
“I panicked!” he shouted, his breaths running ragged. “I didn’t think you’d get the mark. It changed everything, and I didn’t want it to.”
I stilled. “What’s that supposed to mean? Tell. Me.”
Kieran looked at me with those pleading eyes. Another manipulation meant to tug on my heartstrings. “I searched every myth, every reference I could find. From what I read, bonds only form if the fated pair are willingly falling for each other. That night at the tower was the first time I let myselfwonder.That’s why I stayed away. But then you persisted, and we kept talking, but the mark never formed on your skin. I wasn’t going to tell you, because I didn’t want you to feel shackled to me.”
Every breathburned.“Bullshit. You didn’t want me to pull away. That wasn’t protecting my feelings. You can’t protect someone by leaving them in the dark.” I thought I’d been protecting Clara, but the only thing I’d done was left her vulnerable.
“I know that.” His voice tightened. “I’m so fucking sorry, Selena. If I could take it back and be the one to tell you, I would.”
I folded my arms. “You hinted at it earlier. Why didn’t you tell me after my mark formed? Don’t give me a bullshit reason. I know you’re hiding something.”
His jaw flexed. “Not everyone is out to get you, Selena. I didn’t keep it from you to manipulate you or to get you to work with me. I love—”
“Don’t!” My nostrils flared. “Don’t say those words. Not right now. Not while we’re fighting. I’ll never forgive you if you say those words.” I stepped forward, staring up into those gray eyes I often found myself lost in. He had no right to look so wrecked. “You always have a plan, Kieran. And I was a fool to think us getting together would mean I was in on it. Was it ever real? Did you keep silent so that the bond would form on my part and I’d be trapped with you?”
Before Kieran could speak,ithappened. A golden tether appeared between us, connecting the marks to each other. Both the marks glowed, so bright you could see them underneath our clothes. My breath hitched. Something about it was sopure.I couldn’t believe something like that was attached to me. I stared at Kieran’s glowing mark with wide eyes. When I looked up, his expression was similarly shocked. A flood of emotions crashed over my mind.Guilt. Frustration. Doubt. Affection so deep it could’ve been...These feelings… they didn’t belong to me.
I jerked back. The golden tendril connecting us faded and our marks stopped glowing, but I could still feel Kieran’s emotions in the corners of my mind. “What is that? What did you do?”
Kieran poked at his mark and shuddered. “Nothing.”
I did the same, and at my touch, it was like lightning had struck my very being. His emotions flared in my mind again.Guilt. Wonder. Worry. Fear.“What the hell, Kieran? How do we get rid of this?”
Something flickered in Kieran’s eyes, but it disappeared.Hurtshot down the bond—because there was no denying it—that’s what this was. Like my connection with Umara, except this was much stronger, and so muchlouder.“I don’t think we can.” I caught more flickers of emotion.Frustration.A tendril offear.
“How can I read your emotions? It’s like—like I feel them in the corners of my mind.”
Kieran grimaced. “I can do the same.”Guilt.
No.My heart squeezed.Not another lie.“Why do you feel guilty?” There it was again. Another flash ofguilt, worry, regretso strong it was as if I felt it myself. “This isn’t new to you, is it?”
“As soon as I accepted what the mark meant, the bond activated for me.” He closed his eyes. “That’s part of why I didn’t say anything. If I had to guess, once you accepted the bond or realized it, it cemented itself. And once you do—as far as I’m aware, there’s no removing it. When you asked me about the mark, I didn’t want to trap you. I planned on doing some research, Selena. I’m not the monster you think I am.”
But I didn’t care about his excuses. Not right now. Not when the only thing I could think about was— “You’ve been able to read my emotions.”
Worry. Guilt. Sorrow. Regret. Fear.
“It’s not like that.” Kieran took another step forward. “I didn’t ask for the bond or the mark. Everything I did, it wasn’t to control you. It was tosaveyou.”
I shoved all my anger down the bond, a tether that wouldn’t ever go away. “And yet you have no remorse using it for your own advantage.” I shook my head. “I don’t even want to see your face right now. Let’s go to fucking Treave. The sooner we get it done, the sooner I can get away from you.”
“Wait.”
My hand froze on the doorknob. “What?”Every time I looked at him, it was like my heart was being ripped in two.
“We can’t leave yet. We need to wait another hour.”
“Of course.” I had to laugh at the bad luck. I wrapped my arms around myself and leaned against the door.
