Page 86 of A Kingdom of Fire and Fury
“Thanks for making my decision a lot easier.” I flashed her a grin and turned to Gareth. “I’ll train in the gym later after I talk to him.”
Gareth smiled. I didn’t bother looking at the rest to see their reactions. Instead, I mounted Umara and took off after Kieran. Umara purred down the bond as we flew. She loved anytime we left the castle. I couldn’t blame her. It was nice to justflyand not be weighed down by any rules.
It didn’t take long for us to catch up with Kieran and Hesperos. Whether Kieran wanted to admit it or not, it was obvious to me that he wanted someone to talk to him. After all, Hesperos wasn’t flying at top speed. Still, Kieran tensed when he spotted me. “I’m not in the mood to talk.”
“Good, because neither am I.” I patted Umara’s side, and she glided forward so that her and Hesperos flew side by side. Neither of us talked for the next hour. My thighs began to cramp, still unused to flying for long stretches especially after a day of training, but I didn’t complain. Kieran was there for me when I was at my lowest. I’d be there for him.
Kieran kept flying until we came to a series of rocky cliffs, about a hundred feet tall and all with steep drops. Hesperos landed with a rumble, sending some pebbles flying down into the void below. Kieran used his shadows to dismount and looked up at me when Umara landed next to Hesperos. “Let me use my shadows to take you to the spot where I usually go.”
I arched a brow. “You don’t think I can manage it myself?”
He exhaled, and I instantly felt bad. He had dark circles under his eyes. I knew these missions had been weighing on him. They were constant, especially this past week. As captain, he took responsibility for all the lives lost. I wished he wouldn’t. “I know you can, little thief, but you haven’t climbed something like this before, and it’s dangerous. Even Gareth’s almost fallen to his death climbing the trail. It’s been a long day, and I don’t want to take any needless risks.”
I’m such an asshole.I nodded silently, and shadows curled around me. For a moment, I was weightless as his shadows cradled me off Umara. Surprisingly, Kieran didn’t grab me and instead had his shadows cradle me in the air, trailing after him while he deftly walked the gravel path. My heart was in my throat as I watched. He was way too close to the edge for comfort.
After about a ten minute walk, Kieran sat down and his shadows lowered me until I rested right beside him, our thighs touching. The moment I felt secure, I looked down below us. My stomach rolled at the sight. The wind kicked at my feet, making me all too aware that a fall down here would end with my demise.
Jagged rocks lay below, but several hundred yards down was a meadow with a small, bustling river that was surrounded by the deathly mountain cliffs. Straight across from us was a waterfall that gushed down below. It was beautiful, in a dangerous sort of way. How did Kieran discover this place? From the sounds of it, it wasn’t a random spot.
“You’re thinking too loudly,” Kieran said. “You should work on that. It makes it too easy to manipulate you.”
I shot him a look. “I know what you’re doing. You’re trying to push me away.”
“Is it working?”
Maybe it would’ve in the beginning when I didn’t care about him. But somehow, Kieran managed to worm his way into my heart. Even if I wasn’t entirely sure where I stood with him. “No. It just makes me want to annoy you longer and stay here.”
He huffed a laugh. “To answer the question you’re so obviously thinking about—this is where I come when I want to be alone and think. The Irinae Cliffs.”
“I thought that was Rafferty Tower?”
He cocked a brow. “Can’t a person have more than one place?”
“Seems a bit greedy.” I smiled at him, my chest warming when Kieran smiled back.He trusts me.I had no actual confirmation, and I doubted Kieran would say it aloud, but he trusted me. At least, a little bit. This place was important to him, and he showed it to me anyway.
A comfortable silence stretched between us. I could see why he came here. Sitting atop this cliff, I felt so small and insignificant. It was a stark reminder how insignificant my problems were in contrast to everything.
“I thought you would push.”
I tilted my head. “Do you want me to?”
He exhaled. For someone who said I wore my thoughts too much, I could see the debate as clear as day in his eyes. “My sister isn’t coming.”
My brows rose. “You have a sister? How old is she? Are you close?”
He closed his eyes. “Definitely not close. Regina was only a baby when I left for the castle. With how everything ended, let’s just say the relationship was over before it even began.”
My heart went out to him. I couldn’t imagine a world where I wasn’t close to Clara. Kieran had his opportunity ripped away by his family. That had to hurt. “I’m sorry.”
He shrugged. “It’s how the world works. With her in my stepmother’s grasp, there’s no chance in hell I’ll ever have a relationship. She’s sixteen now and was raised to hate my very being.” He shook his head. “I spent so many years trying to chase my family’s approval and even when I cast it away, there’s a part of me that… It’s better Regina keeps her distance from me. We don’t often live long lives in the dragonsguard. At least I can spare her that pain.”
I frowned. The words sounded rehearsed. They probably were. “Sometimes I think it’s better that Clara’s staying away, and it kills me, because I know she’s finding herself over there. Her letters are so happy, and I wanted her to be happy, but it feels like—now that she’s settled—that I was the weight holding her down. I hate the part of me that’s resentful towards her joy.” Kieran didn’t grab my hand, but the feel of his legs and shoulders pressing against minewas more than enough. It fought the chill away and left me hungry for more. “I’m not trying to take away what you’re saying or to make it about me. I’m just saying that I understand what you’re going through. Maybe more than the rest of the ’guard. I understand that feeling of wanting to tie someone down to you, no matter how selfish the wish is. Even now, I can’t let go of that connection.”
Kieran looked out at the brilliant blue sky and clouds that lazily passed us. “You drove me crazy when you first arrived, Selena. But I’m so fucking glad you’re here.”
He looked down, and our eyes locked. My heart stuttered. I was heavily aware of every cell in my body. Kieran’s gaze flicked to my lips, and Iknewwhat would happen. Both of us wanted it. I’d been denying it for so long. I wanted Kieran Caddel.
It’d be so easy to close the distance between us and brush my lips against his. But doing that might just unravel everything we worked for. I turned my head away. “I’m glad I’m here too.” And while I couldn’t kiss him, I laced our hands together.
