Page 73 of A Kingdom of Fire and Fury
“I’m surprised you’re not trying to hook up with someone yet.” We’d already been here an hour, and he’d yet to go searching for someone.
Ben’s grin turned wicked. “Why, are you volunteering?”
“Keep it in your pants!” Gareth smiled at us, but it was oddly strained. Kieran glowered by his side.
“Jealous?” Ben grinned. “I can entertain you if you want, Gareth—” He let out a yelp as a shadow swept across his ankle and tripped him. “Not cool.” His words were muffled as he lay face down.
I laughed and helped him up. “For someone who’s constantly flirting, I hardly see you with anyone. Maybe you’re all talk. I wouldn’t be surprised if it turns out you’re a virgin.”
“Don’t insult me.” Ben snatched my drink and gulped it down, flashing me a grin. “There’s been too much going on to really have fun.”
“Ever plan on settling down?”
Ben poured himself another drink. “The Child no. I don’t have interests like that. I’m aroace.”
My brows rose. ‘Aroace’ wasn’t something I heard too often, but it was typically slang for someone not interested in sex and romance. “But you fuck people all the time.”
Ben grinned wolfishly. “I like sex, and I like looking at hot people. Doesn’t make me any less aroace.”
I flushed. “Sorry.” Of course he’d know his orientation better than I did.
Ben bumped his shoulder against mine. “Don’t be. The term only came around recently. Before I had to say I was jonasio.”
That term was more familiar. It was slang, based off two past royals in different points of Lusadian history. Queen Jonae and King Nicasio. Queen Jonaehad made it known she never wanted a lover and only married to produce an heir, not because she wanted a lover. King Nicasio was known for his hatred of being touched. Because of that, he and his wife found a new way to produce without touching each other—a vial of his seed. By all accounts, despite their difficulty producing an heir, the two loved each other. Clara had always found the story sweet.
“Probably best that term dies down.” I filled my mug and took a sip. The term had a lot of negative connotations to it, but at least it’d given people like Ben a word to express their feelings.
Ben shrugged. “Maybe.”
I waited until Kieran took a few more sips of his ale before stalking over to him where he stood beside Gareth. “Gareth, can I—”
“I’ll go.” Gareth flashed a grin, not even giving me time to finish my sentence before taking off toward Nimue.
As much as I would’ve loved to ignore Kieran—liar,a voice whispered in the back of my mind—my feelings weren’t the only thing at stake. “Why did you lie about my Gift?” I hissed.
Kieran glanced over my shoulder. “Your mark hasn’t manifested.”
“Obviously.”
“Gryphons shouldn’t attack riders. You’re the only exception. Do you know what that means?”
Ice shot down my spine. “Something bad.”
His weighted gaze pinned me in place. “You’reunpredictable. Luther already doesn’t like that. We’re not going to hand him a weapon to use against you. Let him think he has you confined. Only then can you break out.” His lips curved into a smile.
Silence stretched between us at his words. While I appreciated Kieran covering for me, his actions left me confused. This connection I felt toward him, this pull, I couldn’t resist it no matter how hard I tried. Did Kieran feel it too? Was I merely a tool to him or something more?
I heaved a sigh. “Why are we here?”
He arched a brow. “What do you mean?”
I waved at the crowd. “Not that I’m unhappy we chose here.” Getting to see Brynn again and letting her know I was alive was a gift in itself. “But I just don’t get why—how can you all be out and celebrating right now?” I looked at Ben dancing with a man a few years older than him. Then at Nimue shoving her tongue down Brynn’s throat. Even Aurelia nursed her ale while talking quietly to Gareth.
Kieran followed my gaze, and his expression softened. “Because if we went home and drank, it’d get depressing real fast.”
The weight of his words left a heavy feeling in my gut. Everything happened too fast for me to process. From the mission, to Luther, and then here. Maybe that was the point. Because I knew as soon as I lay in bed, I’d think of the screams, and the deaths, and the lives I couldn’t save. And Clara, who was waiting impatiently for me to be her big sister again.
I raised my glass. “To not dying.”
