Page 59 of A Kingdom of Fire and Fury
Kieran studied me, his look way too knowing for comfort. This was another reason why he frustrated me. I was damn good at wearing a mask, but when he looked at me, it was like he knew all my secrets.
“Come with me.” He offered his hand.
I blinked. “Why?”
“Must you make everything a battle?”
“Must you be a control freak about everything?”
The corner of his lips twitched. “You’ll like this, I promise.”
“Then why not just tell me what it is so I can decide for myself?” The tightness in my chest eased as we talked, and I felt more like myself. The fear from the dream melted away.
“Or perhaps you can exercise some of that trust we talked about. I’m not the monster you think I am.”
I heaved a sigh.I know that.Last night proved it. He wasn’t forced to uphold his word, but I knew deep in my bones he wouldn’t go against his promise. He’d let me see my sister after my first mission, and in a year, he’d help me see her regularly. As long as she was doing okay, I could live with that. Especially after seeing those gryphons. What if they got to where she was? By staying here, I could stop that from happening.
“Fine.” I took his hand, and shadows washed over us, coating me in a cool touch. When I opened my eyes, we stood back in the tower he’d taken me to before. My brow quirked when he went to a shelf in the corner of the room and grabbed a bottle of shocha. After pouring two vials, he offered one to me.
I raised a brow and took the vial, not hesitating to down it. The bitter taste flooded my mouth, but the warmth was welcome as was the fuzziness in the corners of my mind. Gods, I didn’t want to think about the phantom feel of Clara’s blood on my cheek. Or that horrible gurgling sound as she struggled to breathe…
Kieran downed his and refilled our vials, though this time he didn’t drink. “I hardly slept for a week the first time I faced a gryphon. I was eleven. They didn’t want to send me since I had so little experience, but without riders, the gryphons had been causing too much destruction for years. Dragons occasionally go after them, especially Umara, who seems to thrive off killing them, but they couldn’t be relied on to do so. So Luther sent me, because as heir to the throne,he couldn’t take the risk. The mission was deemed a success, but too many villagers died.”
“I can’t imagine.” I drank the vial and grimaced at the taste. Our country was fucked up for relying on an eleven-year-old to face those monsters.
He shrugged. “It is what it is. Alcohol helped me then. Figured it might help you.” He took a seat in the cushioned chair, and I sat across from him.
My head buzzed pleasantly. It was nice not to be at each other’s throats. After what we faced yesterday… I didn’t want to fight. Not right now. “Thanks.” I grabbed the bottle from him and poured myself another vial.
“Don’t forget your fear when you face them again. It’s easy to think you’re invincible when you have a dragon, but we’re not. We’re more durable than your everyday citizen, but a gryphon can easily kill us. At least next time we see them, we’ll have a team backing us up.”
I shuddered. “What did Luther say when you told him?”
Kieran met my gaze. “It’ll be your first mission. If you succeed, you’ll see your sister.”
My heart thumped. On one hand, I couldn’t wait. I’d finally see, with my own eyes, how my sister was being treated. On the other hand, the thought of facing those monsters again and so soon… Sweat pooled down my back. “I can’t imagine facing them again, even with backup. How do you manage it?”
“Thankfully, Gareth and Ben claimed their dragonsa year after I did.” Kieran poured himself another vial. “It scared me shitless if I’m being honest. Facing gryphons isn’t something to take lightly. It doesn’t matter how experienced you are. They’re mindless in their drive to slaughter. Only once all three of us were out in the field did I feel slightly better.”
It was odd seeing him so honest, admitting his fear when his image was very much a fearless person. “Look at you now, a cocky asshole.” I grinned, no malice behind my words. Maybe it was the alcohol dimming my bitterness, but it felt nice not to be at his throat. And to let myself admit he wasn’t terrible all the time.
“It took a while to get there. Gareth saved my ass at lot, because Luther sure as hell wasn’t offering me riding tips.”
My brows arched. “Really? I thought Gareth became a rider after you?”
Kieran circled his vial in his hand, studying it. “He lived in the castle, so he grew up around Luther. At the time, I was still a bastard outcast, said to have stolen my brother’s spot. Gareth didn’t care about that, so he helped me out.”
I shook my head. “He’s too kind. Like my sister.”And someday someone will take advantage of it.
“I agree, but I benefited from it, and I’m looking out for him. We both had similar personal goals—wanting to make our place in the dragonsguard. And now—wanting to stop the gryphons and the war.”
I eyed him. “Maybe it makes me awful, but I still don’t care about that. I care that it might affect mysister, but beyond that? I don’t give a shit. If you think I’ll do a one-eighty and suddenly care, you’re wrong.”
Kieran poured us both a vial. “That’s fine as long as you keep fighting with us.”
I huffed a laugh. “You say that, but didn’t you talk about me being a figurehead? And what you’re planning, it sure as hell sounds like a rebellion.”
His eyes darkened. “Maybe it will be, but we’re far off from that. What matters is that you’re here, to be the peoples’ hope. Once you succeed, they’ll know they can want for more. But right now, our first priority is getting the dragon eggs. Once we do, Andova will back off for a while. That’ll give us some wiggle room. Really, we’re so busy fighting each other we can’t see the real danger.”
