Page 29 of Stuck with my Frenemy
“Oh, great idea Ebs.” Cherry clapped. “I should call Squirrel and—”
“No,” I snapped at her. “It’s not a get together. We need the humans to snap out of it, and we need to get moving.”
“This realm gets better and better,” Corvus grumbled as he sat at my feet, his tail curling around him primly. “Now we are display monkeys for humans.”
“It talks,” Bernie breathed, but all the color had drained from his face.
“So do you, human.” Corvus leered at him. “You don’t see me making a spectacle out of it.”
“Don’t mind the cat. He was born without manners.” Sol’s British accent had both men exclaiming in surprise. “At times, I do wish he couldn’t talk as well.”
The situation was getting out of hand.
“Sol and Corvus are here so you understand that we did not lie to you. Now, I need to know how you got possession of the hammer.”
“I need to sit down.” Ash scrubbed a hand over his face and stumbled to the nearest chair that wasn’t on its side.
“Bunny needs a glass of water too, I think. I’ll grab one for both of you.” Cherry skipped toward the kitchen on our right.
“Who?” My head swiveled in search of the freaking rabbit she must’ve dragged along with her.
“Bernie, duh. Just because his parents hated him, that doesn’t mean we have to follow their lead. I renamed him.” She waved me off and disappeared.
Ash barked out a laugh. “This is fucking insane.”
“Yeah. At least you don’t have to live with her. Count your blessings.” I felt a certain kinship with him in that moment, but he killed it in a blink of an eye.
“This.” His plate-sized hand flopped in my direction. “Not her. Talking cats and birds. Gods being real. All this is fucking insane. I must’ve had too much to drink last night. That’s it.”
“This is a punishment, isn’t it?’ Corvus rounded on me. “There is no other explanation as to why you started a collection of idiots.” Craning his neck to better see Sol, he continued. “And they are multiplying.”
“Don’t be preposterous.” Sol puffed up his chest. “She simply has a charitable heart behind all those walls. We need to support that and encourage it. She is helping them. Something you fail to realize.”
“The bird sounds more sophisticated than you, Bernie.” Ash’s chuckling had a crazed edge to it.
“Why thank you, human. I do try.” Sol preened.
I groaned.
“The hammer, Ash.” If I kept my tone low, I could prompt him to tell me. Or so I thought.
“Right.” There was more scrubbing over his face, and after he was done running his hands through his hair, the long strands were a snarly cloud of mess around his head. “Thank you.” He took the glass of water Cherry shoved at him.
“He bought it from the black-market auction I made him attend with me,” Bernie blurted while his brother chugged the water in two swallows. “It’s all my fault. I never buy stuff that I sell in the store from those. I get invitations to purchase for my own collection, only this one had very reasonably priced items. We ended up buying a lot.”
“You saw it and thought ‘uuhhhh shiny,’ right?” Cherry gushed as she guided him to a chair. “I can totally relate. I adore shiny stuff. Glitter is the best, am I right?”
“She is faking being this dumb,” Corvus addressed Sol. “Right?”
“There is no need for insults, Corvus. Everyone deserves to be who they truly are.” My crow familiar rustled his feathers. “You just accept them for that. That’s what I do with you.”
I ignored them all. “So you didn’t steal it?”
“Steal?” Ash growled deep in his chest, and my skin peppered with goosebumps. “What the fuck do you think we are?”
“Humans in possession of a weapon that belongs to one of the gods? A stolen weapon, I might add.” My arched eyebrow had him deflating like a balloon.
“I knew there was something not right with that thing,” Ash muttered. “I should’ve walked away from it, damn it.”
